So we rocked up to Hermanus this weekend for a bit of doing nothing really, a weekend of basically shooting the breeze, braaing, playing the clown, trail running, watching Takeshi’s Castle and The Most Amazing Show until ridiculous hours of the morning.

Sick Dodge parked in Her*anus

Happy days!

Doing coke on the open road

Well that is when you need to stop eating my angel pie

Hermanus has changed a lot and is now basically like any normal city with everything in it. When you have a Woolworths, you’re there! So it’s lost that intimate atmosphere that it had when I was a kid, but it’s still awesome. It’s beautiful and you simply have to visit the antique store because you will lose your minds. War memorabilia, pilots jackets used in World War 2, record players, it has everything.

We all need some Hermanus in our lives! I never, ever want to really grow up and act like adults do, not laughing and being all serious. There is a Peter Pan in all of us! Which is why, at 25, I still play on swings!

I wanna be young the rest of my life
never say no – try anything twice
til the angels come and ask me to fly
I’m gonna be 18 til I die – 18 til I die

can’t live forever that’s wishful thinkin’
who ever said that must of bin’ drinkin’
don’t wanna grow up I don’t see why
I couldn’t care less if time flies by

18 til I die – gonna be 18 til I die
it sure feels good to be alive
someday I’ll be 18 goin’ on 55! – 18 til I die

anyway – I just wanna say
why bother with what happened yesterday
it’s not my style I live for the minute
if ya wanna stay young get both feet in it – 18 til I die

a ‘lil bit of this – a ‘lil bit of that
‘lil bit of everything – gotta get on track
it’s not how ya look, it’s what ya feel inside
I don’t care when – I don’t need ta know why

18 til I die – gonna be 18 til I die
ya it sure feels good to be alive
someday I’ll be 18 goin’ on 55! – 18 til I die
ya there’s one thing for sure – I’m sure gonna try

don’t worry ’bout the future – forget about the past
gonna have a ball – ya we’re gonna have a blast
gonna make it last – 18 til I die

The soundtrack to my life.

Ladies and gentleman, that is all.

*Thanks to everyone for making the weekend AWESOME! X

Took a chilled weekend and hit up the UCT wakeboard club party or something to that effect at Zeekoevlei, that very clean expanse of water that we are fortunate to have. You know…when bodies aren’t floating around.

It was like another world, with R10 double vodka and Red Bull, and R5 beers. Crisis!

It was pretty standard UCT stuff, with dildo funnels and a boat on fire, awesome! Let’s check some photos:

Then Saturday night was spent at Tiger, then Sunday we cruised through to the Hout Bay villa and just did nothing. Played some beats and watched the sun say “Adios…bitches”

I also got into a discussion with myself over a Rubik’s cube. I’ve never ever solved one because it’s stupid.

Hair looking clean

I hate the smug look people get on their faces, talking in a condescending manner to me when describing how quickly they solved a Rubik’s cube.

Well done toolbox, you made each side a solid colour, do you want a Noddy badge for that?

Would you like  a UN Peacekeeper outfit?

Do you want to be knighted by the Queen?

Well I’ll tell you what, all you’re going to get from me is a hole punched in your face because you’re an idiot. The Rubik’s cube is the most irritating thing on the planet! It’s impossible to solve and when people eventually do, it gives them a superiority complex like you have never seen before in your life.

And now I’m watching my brand new Nirvana: Live At Reading DVD and it is rad. And I’m rad.

Crisis, I’m like a one man wolf pack at the moment and I’m loving it!

Go hit golf balls…by myself.

Go to the beach…by myself.

Go watch the early morning movies to catch them in peace without teenagers playing with each other…by myself.

I’m like a young George Clooney.

“Excuse me miss, while I realise you want to be all over me, I must pass on this opportunity because I’m going gambling with the boys”

So I’m chillaxing on the beach two weekends ago by myself, just soaking it all up. I was there with the shades on, the usual trucker cap, my Island Tribe Sunscreen smeared all over me like sexual erotica, in and around my mouth…wow…too far there.

And I decided I was going to have a day of just listening. A day of looking is alright, if you want to tan your back (My umbrella pole gets in the way whenever hot girls walk past…how weird is that?!)

So I’m chilling there by the sea when I suddenly tune into the fine radio stations that happen to come from the mouths of the different people in Cape Town. You’ve got the white folk, the black folk, the coloured folk and…well then you have Joburg my CUZZIE!

And it is just semi-hysterical to lie on the beach and listen to all of this, and I was nearly in tears, because each group sometimes say the most hilarious things, and do the most hilarious things.

Firstly we had the coloured guys next to me smoking a hubble and wearing their pants so low that their boxer shorts were showing. But ALWAYS silky, baggy boxers, that’s how they roll! The cops were patrolling, and started asking them questions, searching their bags for weed I suppose. The cops think they are clever like that “Ooooooh a hubble…these folk must be smoking mara-joo-wana!”  As soon as the cop leaves you just hear

“Yoh, jus naai!”

“Jus my brassa, the bass never outdates! Check my kwaai cabbie, new Rockford Fosgate my bru. Ja hooked up a deal at Jamiels cousin. Jussus check that brassa’s new chrome”

Which reminds me of this coloured dude in school, who never wanted to swim in PE, he would just go “Nooooo sir, I don’t have my bather!” I mean, at a young age, I was in hysterics because of this type of language, and I’ll never forget it. I still remember my teacher, Mr Human (Rondebosch Boys Junior School), he thought this was hilarious that a costume was called a bather.

So the coloured ‘brassa’ were sitting on my right hand side.

Then there were some white chicks on my left, discussing men problems. It’s weird, because white girls just can’t get over guys. They have these huge discussions of what went wrong, and how they can’t believe he ‘already has a new girlfriend’. Man, they need to learn a thing or two from the black girls I was listening to about three weeks ago. The ones who somehow are rolling an American accent.

It’s easy to spot the white folk on a beach…just look for anything that looks like it’s walked out of a magazine. Us white people LOVE to follow trends! You see it in GQ or Cosmo…the white people will be wearing it. Wayfarers? Check! Straw hat/panama hat? Check! Sandals…well Havaianas to be precise? Check! We love the trends.  You’ll also see the white girls sitting there putting on their Dermalogica sunscreen and saying “It’s solar activated you know, so as soon as I go in the sun it starts working” Which is nothing short of bizarre, because if you’re putting on sunscreen, then SURELY it means you’re going to go in the sun. Why can’t it just activate when you put it on? We love falling for marketing tricks!

“But it’s got vitamin C” (Forgetting for a moment that vitamin c is better if you just take the tablets, and cheaper) says tart as she pops another goji berri down. “Anti-oxidants”

The white girls also love to sit on the beach, talking about all the latest skandaal. But they’ll go on and on and on…

“But I still hate seeing John with his new girlfriend…I downright refuse to go to a party where he is going to be, with that new skank girlfriend of his that he cheated on me with. I hate it that I still have feelings for him though…”

The black chicks, well they don’t care about ‘John’s’ feelings.

“Oh that mother_ _ _ _ _ _! I’m gonna rip his _ _ _ _ off! Cheating on me with that skinny ass white bitch!”

Then the black dudes are just cruising around “How Jo how’s this dood!” Do I hear correctly, is it ‘Jo’? What does it mean?

I should actually ask Gazza! But Gazza is kicking it in the UK somewhere I think. Gazza is down with all that lingo.

Gazza at 8pm…still fully clothed and still owning a name

By this time I was finding it extremely hard to keep any sort of composure. You can’t very well sit on the beach by yourself and laugh, because people then know you are listening to them and you are labeled a stalker (Ha!)

Now all of this is still funny, because whether we’re black, white or coloured we can look at the way we act and the way we do things, and we can have a laugh.

And then Joburg arrives. And bugger the whole jol up.

“Yussus cuzzie that’s a shweet Ed Hardy cap you got there hey! Bru…check my triceps. Dak CHINA! Yeah Warren put me on this stuff…nah…it’s legal hey, but only just. Bru I’m chilling at The Hat the other night with my broad and this oke scopes her, and I’m like ‘Listen bru, you checking my chick?’ F_ _ _en flexed my tri one time and this oke even said sorry…can you believe it?”

“No so bru I’m on this new stuff hey, glutamine, protein and creatine, I’m so much stronger hey. Yeah I’m gonna go on the ‘roids again hey, but my broad was complaining…you know…can’t get it up hey. And my skin was quite bad hey, had a bit of accers. And the rage as well, but it’s a small side effect to be dak hey”

And that’s the end of the story, because we have spoken about Joburg WAY too much this summer already!

But next time you’re on the beach, listen to the things people say, it’s hilarious. And leave a comment here on your favourite saying from the beach, it’s actually too much for my mind to handle!

And here are some photos of my UGLY weekend that just passed, where I hit Clifton 4th up with Gaz (The other Gaz) and Stace. Mmmmm I think we’ll do that again this naweek!

Boardies by Country Road

Good times.

So on Saturday some time was taken to burn up the open road and get out of town…

That is all for now!

I spent the better part of the weekend lazing at the Llandudno house and chilling down on the beach…which was glorious! There isn’t much to report back on because I did nothing and thought nothing. This is the way I like to spend my weekends! So we’ll just show you some photos:

That’s what I’m talking about! The married couple vibe going on was also quite cute. It’s a pity that you can’t marry yourself.

I totally would.

I do me.

Look it’s been a few days since I posted but not to worry, I didn’t get meth burns in my cheeks and therefore didn’t find myself lying face down in a gutter somewhere as someones pleasure slave.

I was taking some time out from the city because trust me…it gets to you! It freaks you out a bit. So what you need is some time where you literally do nothing and think nothing and have nothing and want nothing. So that’s what we did! We cruised up to Misverstand as part of the Bourne2Ride Crew for a weekend of nothingness which was fantastic. Just lazing about, chilling, that’s what it’s all about. A few photos:

Getting the girls wet

Andrew Bourne doing the “Triple Semi Retarded” Actually I have no idea what that one is called

NY balling!

Days spent like this

So hopefully that put a bit of inspiration back in me because I have been feeling a little lost as what to write lately. It’s fine, we’re getting there. We all need some time out! Even superheroes and tik addicts need some stillness!

A HUGE thanks to Andrew Bourne from Bourne2Ride for having us in and around his house and in and around his boat, and thanks to everyone who went up and chilled hard with us.

If you’re interested in learning to wakeboard with the pro’s, Andrew runs the successful Bourne2Ride wakeboard camps in Misverstand. Click here to get in touch, and live like we do.

Alpha Bravo Charlie check it, requesting a fly by.

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

Apologies for the not too constant and mind blowing stream of rad today, but you know when you’re dealing with Le Quartier Francais, concentrating is a bit much. It’s not the warmest time for the pool, but it’s still stunning so I snapped a few pics with my cellular telephone (Bloody marvelous things, I think they might take off. I was thinking of starting my own phone company, I was thinking along the lines of  ‘Nokia’ Although to think of it deeply, I really don’t think it will work)

Below par

Below average

I want an office job

It’s best just to think of nothing!

HEY! What are you still doing here? The boss is haggling you for that PowerPoint presentation!

Slip a clip of you naked into it. Bosses love that, especially when it’s a presentation for a high profile client. Nothing makes you feel more alive than fear.

Apologies for being so quiet today everyone, but NOW I’M SHOUTING!

It’s just been a bit hectic of late, summers coming so we have loads of stuff to do…behind the scenes…

I did however take a slow cruise yesterday along the coast just to scope out what I am soon going to have to deal with. Summer is on it’s way, bikini’s are coming out and it’s all looking rather sexual, so much so that you will have to cool yourself off. I’ll be spritzing myself with those divine Evian spray bottles.

And what I was supposed to say there was “Jus okes spraying myself with beer hey!”

CHINA.

Whatever.

This is what yesterday looked like at Llandudno side:

And then Clifton side:

Kak

All in all, that looks quite tasty. I’ll have some. Incidentally, I was naughty taking these pictures in nothing but the Calvin Kleins!

Actually not, I’m just an habitchual lier. And my pants were on fire. They burnt off.

Which is why I was left in my Calvins.

Semester At Sea is honestly one of the most unique ways to study, as students cruise the high seas, all the while getting work done! I know ’students’ and ‘work’ are hardly ever mentioned in the same breath in South Africa, but the foreign students somehow seem to get work done on board. Personally I’d be too busy tanning to actually study, but you know me…

Anyway, the Semester at Sea Fall 2009 Voyage is touching down in Cape Town on the 3rd of October until the 8th of October and I wanted to show the guys and girls some cool things to do. With there being so many activities in Cape Town, I thought I’d briefly run through some of the more popular activities for young students visiting Cape Town. Let’s have a look:

Helicopter trips around Cape Town

Cape Town is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and seeing it from the sky is nothing short of breathtaking. With mountains and beaches, the view from the sky is a dream.

Skydiving

The drop zone near Cape Town is spectacular and allows you to see Table Mountain and Robben Island from the sky. Free falling over a picture perfect setting is a dream for any adrenaline junkie.

Abseil off Table Mountain

Table Mountain needs no introduction, but if looking at the mountain is too boring for you, why not abseil off the mountain?  You can abseil 112 metres in the “Long Drop”, the highest commercial abseil in the world.

Wine tasting in Cape Town

The Cape is one of the finest wine producing regions in the world, and the Stellenbosch region contains a host of award winning wine farms where you can taste to your hearts delight. Constantia in Cape Town is also a top producer of wine, and is only minutes from the actual city centre.

Take the party bus

Love partying, love Cape Town and hate driving? Take the party bus! The party bus will supply you with drinks, snacks and pumping music and all you need to do is relax and socialise while you are driven around the city on your very one party bus.

Jet Fighter Flights

Take it to the danger zone…Fighter jets and pilots became cool as soon as Tom Cruise threw on his flight suit in Top Gun, and now you too can experience the thrill of flying Fighter Jets at Cape Towns Thunder City, at the hands of experienced pilots.

Go there…

Take the Tigger 2 Cruise

Charter the Tigger 2 or Tigger 2 Royale for your group, and enjoy cruising the coast of Cape Town while enjoying sun downers and snacks with the most spectacular views in the world!

Visit Robben Island

Visit this iconic landmark and get first hand experience of what the prisoners like Nelson Mandela experienced, in this isolated piece of land off of Cape Town.

Take the cable car up Table Mountain

Abseiling too extreme, walking too tiring? Take the cable car up Table Mountain and experience all the beauty without any of the strain! Enjoy snacks and drinks at the top of the mountain while looking at the stunning city. You’re at the top of Cape Town, enjoy it!

Paraglide off Lions Head

Take a slow cruise…off Lions Head. Paraglide with highly trained and certified guides. Land on the stunning Camps Bay beach and then hit Cafe Caprice across the road for lunch!

Shark Cage Diving

Come face to face with Jaws from the safety of a cage. South Africa is renowned for it’s shark cage diving and attracts adrenaline enthusiasts from all around the world. Live life on the edge and dive with the greats.

Ride horses on Long Beach in Noordhoek

Revel in the peace and calm that is horse riding as you take in the stunning Long Beach in Noordhoek, with some horse back riding! And for the eco-conscious, this is about as clean as transport gets…

Beer tasting in Cape Town

Paulaner Brauhaus and ‘& Union’ offer a wide selection of beers, with & Union offering food pairing with their speciality beers. Not to be missed for the gourmets and leisure drinkers!

And this is only in Cape Town!

EcoSouth Travel have an extensive range of African Safari’s and Adventures in the finest destinations including the famed Kruger National Park, Mozambique, Victoria Falls and Botswana.

Go on a Southern African Safari

All of these activities are available to book now through EcoSouth Travel, including their acclaimed Southern African Safari’s and Adventures.

Click here to visit the EcoSouth Travel Safari and Adventure section, and contact the team for any of the activities listed above.

And most of all, enjoy your stay in Cape Town!

Click here for the Semester At Sea Fall 2009 blog site.

“Sean, WHERE have you been?” I hear you ask.

Baby cakes, I’ve been keeping up relations from the Republic of Wood (Weed) Bay, all along the Atlantic Seaboard. I thought I’d pop into Hout Bay earlier, visit the Spar, crack a cigar and chill at the school bus just like old days!

Me and Julio…down by the school yard!

It’s really quite a pearler of a day for chilling, because it’s a little chilly on that side. Then I nipped down to Llandudno to scope out the beach but it’s a little chilly and quiet.

If I were a chick…I do me!

Then I lit another cigar, headed back home and I’m now maxing the SICK!

I love you. With all my heart.

Touch me, touch you, we’re all touchy touchy woo!

Sean Lloyd

Editor