0 Comments 50% Off All G-Star At Fabiani From Today At V&A, Cavendish And Willowbridge

Article written by the brilliant on the 28 Jan 2010 , in the Fashion & Grooming category

I just received a message alerting me to the G-Star sale in Cape Town at those select stores! Look, even at half price it might be expensive (Plebb) but G-Star is awesome and that is a fact. I kick it in G-Star’s:

editor converse g-star

G-Star’s, Chuck’s…aint no thang!

Read up on that post over HERE.

Sale starts today, get some proper denim in your life!

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0 Comments Problems Posting Comments?

Article written by the brilliant on the , in the Uncategorized category

Yo yo yo guys and girls!

Just a quick one, a few e-mails came through from people saying they have been battling to post comments…anyone else experienced this?

If you could leave a comment here to test, and if it doesn’t go through, then you would be dolls/kiff okes to just drop me an e-mail at seanl (at) slxs (dot) co (dot) za and I’ll see what can be done.

If you’re naughty enough, you’ll be done! And the okes will get high fives…KIFF CHINA! LEKKA BRU! (As we see out the Ed Hardy crew)

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1 Comments Patron Tequila, Paul Mitchell And John Paul Dejoria

Article written by the brilliant on the 27 Jan 2010 , in the Uncategorized category

John Paul Dejoria

John Paul Dejoria of Paul Mitchell Hair Systems and Patron Tequila…struggling, clearly…

I’ve always had a fascination with brand history as very often the worlds biggest and most exciting brands have very small, humble beginnings, devoid of million dollar start up capital. In the case of Paul Mitchell Hair Systems, the start up was a mere $700. Not bad for the now $900 million a year empire.

And so we will come to learn how Paul Mitchell hair products, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan and Patron Tequila are all interlinked!

Patron Tequila is no doubt the most talked about tequila in the world at the moment, with references in movies, and everyone in Cape Town is talking about it, and drinking it. The next day memories are a little fuzzy, but it’s selling well! All I hear at Chevelle and Karma Lounge is “PATRON!”

And it’s a great story of how it became the tequila of choice for nearly everybody.

Gran Patron Burdeos

Patron Tequila was founded nearly 20 years ago, and it has redefined what tequila really is. In the past it was seen as one of those ‘wrecking crew’ drinks, where you just drank it to forget! You’d slam down a few tequilas and chase it with a beer to get the taste away, then hope it kicked in while you tried to score someone on the D-Floor at your local bar/club.

Patron is the number one tequila in the elite category of top of the line tequilas, a category which it basically invented. Patron is only outsold by Jose Quervo’s line of cheaper tequilas, the same way that Ferrari are outsold by Citi Golfs.

John Paul Dejoria started Paul Mitchell Hair Systems back in 1980, and then came Patron Tequila. This from Entrepeneur:

How did you start Patrón?

I started Patrón in 1989 with a friend of mine. I had put my friend Martin [Crowley] in the architectural business. He had a little bad luck in his life, so he would go down to Mexico, buy stone pavers and furniture and come back to the United States and sell it to architects. I said, “Martin, why don’t you bring back a few bottles of whatever the best tequila is that Mexicans drink down there.” So Martin brought me back the tequila and this bottle he found, that was the same bottle as Patrón today.

He said, “JP, I have this idea; taste this.” I thought, Wow, that’s smoother than anything we’ve ever had. He said “I can make it smoother. I can send a mixologist down. And here’s a bottle we can put it in, and I’ll design this beautiful label for it. What do you think about going into business together?” We made it a little smoother, put it in these hand-blown bottles. So I bought a thousand cases–12,000 bottles. And my thinking was, if no one bought it, I would keep it, because Paul Mitchell was doing good. And for 10 years everybody I knew got one–for their birthday, christening, bar mitzvah, any kind of holiday you could think of. “Here’s a bottle of tequila! [laughs] If you’re too young, give it to your parents.”

Now if you’ve watched You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, you will have seen ‘Paul Mitchell’ on the phone to The Zohan, well this Paul Mitchell is in fact John Paul Dejoria who is worth around $2,5 billion.

The full interview on Entrepeneur can be found HERE, and that is, in short, how you came to drink the best tequila in the world the other night!

It makes a change from knocking back shots of the cheap stuff in Tin Roof before chundering, then hitting Steers, then waking up and remembering nothing!

Click HERE for the Patron website.

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2 Comments Choosing The Best UV Protection For Your Eyes

Article written by the brilliant on the 26 Jan 2010 , in the Fashion & Grooming category

One of the things I’ve never quite understood is people who buy cheap sunglasses from the side of the road, or ‘fashion’ sunglasses. Firstly, these trendy, cheap and plastic sunglasses create massive amounts of waste each season, as people basically just throw them out because ‘they were only R80′ Then there is the small matter of having these sunglasses imported from China which is quite far away. On top of this their lenses are of poor quality, which can lead to some serious damage of your eyes.

Good quality sunglasses will essentially last forever (Obviously barring scratches etc) and should not be seen as expensive, but they should be seen as an investment. I’m a fan of classic styles that never date. In clothing it’s my white v-neck t-shirts, All Star’s, G-Star raw denims, cardigans and anything casual that never dates or goes out of style. It’s eternally cool.

For sunglasses, I’m a huge fan of Ray Ban, because they have so many classic styles. Young people tend to go for Oakleys, in their crazy designs, but I’m a fan of the classic and timeless Aviators and Wayfarers. If you bought them 30 years ago, they were awesome, they’re awesome today and they will be awesome forever. And the Ray Ban G-15 lens is a classic, because what they do is emphasizes the colours that our eyes see most easily, and de-emphasize the less useful colours which the eyes can’t as easily see. So green and yellow are highlighted, while red and blue aren’t so much.

It’s very easy to justify spending R2000 on a pair of sunglasses when they are going to last a lifetime. Even if they only lasted 5 years (Let’s say you lose them after a bit of time), it would only cost R400 a year for proper eye protection.

If your lenses have poor UV protection, the darkness of the lens means your pupils dilate, letting more light in. Without UV protection, inferior quality sunglasses do major amounts of damage to your eyes. Cheaper sunglasses may also only block certain UV rays. Furthermore, the UV protection may be a light coating on the lenses, and if they get scratched, you’ll get a UV leak which will damage your eyes.

I’ve only ever worn two brands of eyewear because of their superior lens quality, and that is Oakley and Ray Ban. I use Ray Bans for my casual style, and I’ll use Oakley for sport because they are simply the best sport performance sunglasses available. Let’s take a look at what I’d choose from the Ray Ban catalogue for casual wear:

Ray Ban Aviators

Brad Pitt Ray Ban Aviator

Brad Pitt KILLING a pair of Ray Ban Aviators! This is how you wear them…with a kick ass pilot attitude

One of the many reasons you’ll buy these is going to be due to Top Gun! I mean, who didn’t want to put on a pair of Ray Ban Aviators, walk up to a chick and tell her that you’re a ‘naval aviator’? I tried this once at Tin Roof but at the last minute got a bit excited and said I have a torpedo that needs a cave to explode in…mmmm…not ideal. Needless to say I didn’t come right that night! Well actually I did, I think drinking the ice cream dip at the Steers that used to be oppossite Tin Roof, while NONE of the staff noticed me, classifies as ‘coming right’

That was around the time I passed out on the bar counter at Conti’s while sharing a fish bowl with my mate Jools. He didn’t wake me up, but just kept drinking my share! Ahhhh…good times. My spent youth!

Anyway, legends have worn Aviators, and Ray Ban sunglasses continue to be worn by film stars and those with an innate knowledge of what it means to really be stylish. It’s not about following seasonal trends, but about wearing timeless and classic pieces of fashion.

Megan Fox Ray Ban Aviators

Megan Fox, looking GREAT in a pair of Ray Ban Aviators

There are also other styles from Ray Ban, offering a more squared Aviator style which are very, very cool.

Ray Ban Wayfarers

Another classic used by film stars, the Ray Ban Wayfarers go against all normal design!

Robert Pattinson Ray Ban Wayfarer

Robert Pattinson wearing Ray Ban Wayfarers

They stick out and don’t wrap around your face, but somehow the package just comes together so well. You’ve seen Jack Nicholson wearing them, and he’s a cool guy. More importantly, he still pulls the hotties! Even while drinking beer and eating hot dogs on a boat with his stomach out. There is a whole article on Wayfarers over HERE on Wikipedia and it’s interesting to follow their rise and fall in popularity. But the people with real style have been wearing them all along. As their popularity has surged again recently, they have released some awesome new editions, like the Ray Ban Rare Prints:

Ray Ban Wayfarer Rare Prints

But to be honest, you can’t go wrong with Ray Ban Wayfarers in any style. They are all good!

Oakley Radar, M-Frames and Jawbone

For sports sunglasses, and ones that you are going to use when sweating like a beast, Oakley simply offer the best sunglasses on the planet. Whether you go for The Oakley Radar, or the M Frames, or the Jawbone, you can’t go wrong. They stick to your face thanks to a unique rubber that gets stickier when you sweat. I’m a fan of the M-Frames as they have an insanely comfortable fit, although most stores are now stocking the Oakley Radar. But you can still ask them to place an order for some M-Frames.

Cedric Gracia Oakley Radar

Cedric Gracia in Oakley Radar

Lance Armstrong M-Frames

Lance Armstrong HURTING the competition and a pair of M-Frames (Actually, possibly Pro M-Frames)

And buying expensive sunglasses doesn’t guarantee great UV protection. Sometimes sunglasses from designers don’t have the best lenses, and you need to stick with the core sunglass brands who sell great designs with top of the range UV protection. Check this out from Wikipedia:

In addition, high prices cannot guarantee sufficient protection as no correlation between high prices and increased UV protection has been demonstrated. A 1995 study reported that “Expensive brands and polarizing sunglasses do not guarantee optimal UVA protection.” The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission has also reported that “consumers cannot rely on price as an indicator of quality”. One survey even found that a $6.95 pair of generic glasses offered slightly better protection than did expensive Salvatore Ferragamo shades.

So PLEASE don’t buy those cheap shades! Get some proper eye protection that will last a lifetime, and will also ensure that your eyes last a lifetime.

It’s more of an investment than anything else really, and you’ll look really good.

I mean…real good…

Everybody…come and see how good I look!

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0 Comments How To Spot Your Brassa/China’s/ Mates/ Jo’s On The Beach

Article written by the brilliant on the , in the Uncategorized category

Crisis, I’m like a one man wolf pack at the moment and I’m loving it!

Go hit golf balls…by myself.

Go to the beach…by myself.

Go watch the early morning movies to catch them in peace without teenagers playing with each other…by myself.

I’m like a young George Clooney.

“Excuse me miss, while I realise you want to be all over me, I must pass on this opportunity because I’m going gambling with the boys”

So I’m chillaxing on the beach two weekends ago by myself, just soaking it all up. I was there with the shades on, the usual trucker cap, my Island Tribe Sunscreen smeared all over me like sexual erotica, in and around my mouth…wow…too far there.

And I decided I was going to have a day of just listening. A day of looking is alright, if you want to tan your back (My umbrella pole gets in the way whenever hot girls walk past…how weird is that?!)

So I’m chilling there by the sea when I suddenly tune into the fine radio stations that happen to come from the mouths of the different people in Cape Town. You’ve got the white folk, the black folk, the coloured folk and…well then you have Joburg my CUZZIE!

And it is just semi-hysterical to lie on the beach and listen to all of this, and I was nearly in tears, because each group sometimes say the most hilarious things, and do the most hilarious things.

Firstly we had the coloured guys next to me smoking a hubble and wearing their pants so low that their boxer shorts were showing. But ALWAYS silky, baggy boxers, that’s how they roll! The cops were patrolling, and started asking them questions, searching their bags for weed I suppose. The cops think they are clever like that “Ooooooh a hubble…these folk must be smoking mara-joo-wana!”  As soon as the cop leaves you just hear

“Yoh, jus naai!”

“Jus my brassa, the bass never outdates! Check my kwaai cabbie, new Rockford Fosgate my bru. Ja hooked up a deal at Jamiels cousin. Jussus check that brassa’s new chrome”

Which reminds me of this coloured dude in school, who never wanted to swim in PE, he would just go “Nooooo sir, I don’t have my bather!” I mean, at a young age, I was in hysterics because of this type of language, and I’ll never forget it. I still remember my teacher, Mr Human (Rondebosch Boys Junior School), he thought this was hilarious that a costume was called a bather.

So the coloured ‘brassa’ were sitting on my right hand side.

Then there were some white chicks on my left, discussing men problems. It’s weird, because white girls just can’t get over guys. They have these huge discussions of what went wrong, and how they can’t believe he ‘already has a new girlfriend’. Man, they need to learn a thing or two from the black girls I was listening to about three weeks ago. The ones who somehow are rolling an American accent.

It’s easy to spot the white folk on a beach…just look for anything that looks like it’s walked out of a magazine. Us white people LOVE to follow trends! You see it in GQ or Cosmo…the white people will be wearing it. Wayfarers? Check! Straw hat/panama hat? Check! Sandals…well Havaianas to be precise? Check! We love the trends.  You’ll also see the white girls sitting there putting on their Dermalogica sunscreen and saying “It’s solar activated you know, so as soon as I go in the sun it starts working” Which is nothing short of bizarre, because if you’re putting on sunscreen, then SURELY it means you’re going to go in the sun. Why can’t it just activate when you put it on? We love falling for marketing tricks!

“But it’s got vitamin C” (Forgetting for a moment that vitamin c is better if you just take the tablets, and cheaper) says tart as she pops another goji berri down. “Anti-oxidants”

The white girls also love to sit on the beach, talking about all the latest skandaal. But they’ll go on and on and on…

“But I still hate seeing John with his new girlfriend…I downright refuse to go to a party where he is going to be, with that new skank girlfriend of his that he cheated on me with. I hate it that I still have feelings for him though…”

The black chicks, well they don’t care about ‘John’s’ feelings.

“Oh that mother_ _ _ _ _ _! I’m gonna rip his _ _ _ _ off! Cheating on me with that skinny ass white bitch!”

Then the black dudes are just cruising around “How Jo how’s this dood!” Do I hear correctly, is it ‘Jo’? What does it mean?

I should actually ask Gazza! But Gazza is kicking it in the UK somewhere I think. Gazza is down with all that lingo.


Gazza at 8pm…still fully clothed and still owning a name

By this time I was finding it extremely hard to keep any sort of composure. You can’t very well sit on the beach by yourself and laugh, because people then know you are listening to them and you are labeled a stalker (Ha!)

Now all of this is still funny, because whether we’re black, white or coloured we can look at the way we act and the way we do things, and we can have a laugh.

And then Joburg arrives. And bugger the whole jol up.

“Yussus cuzzie that’s a shweet Ed Hardy cap you got there hey! Bru…check my triceps. Dak CHINA! Yeah Warren put me on this stuff…nah…it’s legal hey, but only just. Bru I’m chilling at The Hat the other night with my broad and this oke scopes her, and I’m like ‘Listen bru, you checking my chick?’ F_ _ _en flexed my tri one time and this oke even said sorry…can you believe it?”

“No so bru I’m on this new stuff hey, glutamine, protein and creatine, I’m so much stronger hey. Yeah I’m gonna go on the ‘roids again hey, but my broad was complaining…you know…can’t get it up hey. And my skin was quite bad hey, had a bit of accers. And the rage as well, but it’s a small side effect to be dak hey”

And that’s the end of the story, because we have spoken about Joburg WAY too much this summer already!

But next time you’re on the beach, listen to the things people say, it’s hilarious. And leave a comment here on your favourite saying from the beach, it’s actually too much for my mind to handle!

And here are some photos of my UGLY weekend that just passed, where I hit Clifton 4th up with Gaz (The other Gaz) and Stace. Mmmmm I think we’ll do that again this naweek!

Clifton 1

Boardies by Country Road

Clifton 2

Clifton 3

Clifton 4

Good times.

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0 Comments Oakley Limited Edition Radar Path Anti-Freeze With Jade Iridium Lenses

Article written by the brilliant on the , in the Sport, Health and Fitness category

If you’re an athlete, you will know that nothing beats Oakley when it comes to pure performance. I wouldn’t wear anything else as an athlete, whether it’s running, cycling or anything else in between. Lance Armstrong wore the M-Frames to multiple Tour De France victories, and they are still one of the most popular sporting sunglasses on the planet. Recently Oakley have introduced the Jawbone and the Radar, which is what all the top athletes are replacing their M-Frames with. I’m still a big fan of the M-Frames as they just seem more sturdy than the Radars, but the Radars do come with some cool new technology like the Hydrophobic lens coating. This ensures that water simply washes off the lenses and keeps your vision clear. Sweat and oils are also unable to stick to the lenses, keeping your field of view clear for the ultimate in performance.

The Oakley Limited Edition Radar Path with the “Anti-Freeze” frame colour and the Jade Iridium lenses are the ones you’ve seen Biff (Graeme Smith) wearing lately.

Oakley Limited Edition Radar Path Anti Freeze/Jade Iridium

The Limited Edition Oakley Radar Path — Anti Freeze/ Jade Iridium

You can’t order them anymore, but you can grab them at Cycle Lab in Westlake in Cape Town for R2450. They are seriously one awesome looking pair of sunglasses and you better not leave it too late if you’re keen to get your hands on a pair as you won’t be able to get them for much longer. This is what Oakley have to say about them:

They say it’s the color of the word “go” and it screams of freedom, nature and endurance. We don’t know about all that touchy-feely crap. We just think the color is sick, and you can only get it with these Oakley RADARS designed for cycling. The green hue is a rarity called Anti-freeze made only for this Limited Edition frame and we matched it with JADE IRIDIUM lenses, a little something we’ve been cooking up in the lab for years.

True performance eyewear goes back to the days when athletes had zero choices and a company called Oakley began addressing their needs. We grew up supporting cross-country cycling and downhill racing. We were there at the birth of Free ride and we’ve been part of the Big Tour and Classic segments for decades. Radar eyewear is now essential equipment for anything with two wheels and no limits, and this is one of the first designs to come with Jade Iridium lens coating for truer color recognition, especially in bright sun. (It doesn’t make the world look green; it just makes the other riders green with envy). Put it all together and you’ve got unbeatable performance and rare style.

Get this Limited Edition cycling combo now because once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.

  • Durability and all-day comfort of lightweight, stress-resistant O MATTER frame material
  • Integrated surge ports to channel cooling airflow
  • Optimized peripheral view and side coverage of POLARIC ELLIPSOID lens geometry
  • Comes standard with Oakley HYDROPHOBIC/OLEOPHOBIC anti-smudge lens coating on all lens options
  • Comfort and performance of Three-Point Fit that holds lenses in precise optical alignment
  • Metal icon accents
  • Optical precision and performance that meets all ANSI Z87.1 standards
  • Impact resistance that meets all ANSI Z87.1 standards for high-mass and high-velocity impact
  • UV protection of PLUTONITE lens that filters out 100% of UVA / UVB / UVC & harmful blue light up to 400nm
  • Glare reduction and tuned light transmission of IRIDIUM lens coating
  • Interchangeable lenses to optimize performance in any environment
  • Multiple interchangeable UNOBTAINIUM nose pad options for customizable and comfortable secure fit
  • Protective sports-specific Oakley Soft Vault included with capacity for an extra lens
  • Available with Oakley Prescription Lenses (+2.00 to -5.00 with cylinder up to -2.00)

So if you’re keen on owning a very unique, sports specific pair of shades, these are the ones. Available at Cycle Lab in Westlake.

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0 Comments Some Photos I’m Loving

Article written by the brilliant on the 25 Jan 2010 , in the Uncategorized category

I tend to have an obsession with photos, especially awesome ones, and these are the ones I’m loving right now.

Firstly, we have two young, hot actresses. We’ve all had a thing for Dakota Fanning, it’s just that everyone has held back because of her age! I think she’s 16 now. Still too young! But it never hurts to invest for the future. Mind you, Kristen has a thing for me, so I’ll date her in the interim. POW! I love this photo because it’s just two of the most popular young actresses in the world, just chilling.

Dakota Fanning and Krsiten Stewart

Emma Watson for Burberry

Then we have Emma Watson from Harry Potter in the Burberry campaign. She’s really beautiful and Burberry just transcends cool. It’s that slim, classic look that just never ages. The Burberry check is phenomenal and it just reminds me of London musicians. Clean fitting, classic and I love it. Check out the stand alone Burberry store at the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town, on the upper level above Willoughby’s.

And then…well we don’t need to say anything about how cool Johnny Depp is.

Johnny Depp Ray Ban Aviator

Just hurting a pair of Ray Ban Aviators.

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0 Comments Ray Ban Aviators For Around R1300 at V&A Waterfront

Article written by the brilliant on the 24 Jan 2010 , in the Fashion & Grooming category

Ray Ban Aviator black frame G-15 lenses

These are the ones…sickie woo!

Just a quick one, I was scouting the Waterfront yesterday (Burberry — Simply TO DIE FOR!) and came across a pair of Ray Ban Aviators at 20% off. They are around R1600 normally I believe, so at 20% off they’re rolling in at around R1300 give or take a few rand. Not bad! They have a black frame and the sought after G-15 lenses, and I found them at the sunglasses store (In the aisle) just outside of Exclusive Books. So if you were looking for Aviators, that’s a pretty sweet deal. I’m not looking for the black frame, looking for the silver frame, with G-15 lenses with no mirror finish on them.

SICK! I’ll be a real cop then.

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1 Comments Vote Locnville For The 2010 MK Awards

Article written by the brilliant on the , in the Cape Town Live music, parties and events category

You know I never ask much of you guys and girls, but you know, I’m a giver. But now we need your support, because friends help friends!

Cape Town boys Locnville need your votes in the 2010 MK Awards as Best Newcomers, and we’re naturally supporting them.


Locnville: Hurting it!

You literally need to take 30 seconds out of your schedule of boozy lunches and ‘important telephone calls’ and ‘staff meetings to touch base’, to help out here. I mean, not that the guys really need help because no one won’t not vote for them, but we want them to absolutely take the awards to the dry cleaners. Everyone knows Locnville are by far the best newcomers so it’s all good!

All we need from you is to SMS 5D to 33154. I only ask for these little favours when it means the world to me and those around me. This is one of those times.

Do it do it! If they win, Mark Felgate will run naked around Karma Lounge in Camps Bay while pouring milk all over himself and shouting “I am the milk man!” He doesn’t know he’s going to do this, but he’ll find out soon enough.

So get those votes in and let’s see Locnville HURT the MK Awards 2010!

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2 Comments Have You Tried A Loaded Smoothie?

Article written by the brilliant on the , in the Sport, Health and Fitness category

I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for QUITE some time, because people think I own the company that makes this stuff, which is weird. They thought the name was actually based on my lifestyle, ‘loaded’ because of the state of my bank account. Well this is a complete lie, I’m not loaded! Well I am at the 25th of each month when I pay myself, but by the 30th my lone missions to Vegas in search of strippers and cocaine has all but depleted the monetary values!

And then ‘smoothie’ because I’m apparently smooth with the ladies. Well this I can confirm is all fabrication! I stutter and stumble when talking to girls, and I blush, and I’m self conscious about my hair. So when seeing me at a club, please don’t approach me because I’ll get nervous. But if you’re hot…well approach me anyway and I’ll see how I can do you. I mean what I can do for you. Ladies!
Calm yourselves…

I was on this huge mission to Spar this morning (Spaza shop) to grab the paper, my lottery winnings (Massive…apparently I can’t cash out that much as the Spar…WTF?) and a Bioplus sachet or three to jolt my mind into ass kicking, chick pulling, tanning, Greek God rippedness action. The sound track to my trip to the shops was naturally ‘The Four Tops– Loco In Acapulco” Which is well suited to Dockside boat shoes and Wayfarers and Caribbean shorts from Country Road and copious amounts of Island Tribe to prevent me from turning into a Pom tourist. Thanks!

So I nipped in (I’m using ‘nipped’ again, it makes me feel sexual, like a revolution…in your pants) and did all the usual when I was looking for some juice, and I saw Loaded Smoothies, again! I’ve been drinking them for ages and they’re so damn good they could cure anything. The whole angle is that they’re healthy, very healthy, but more importantly they’re tasty. They beat the hell out of any fizzy drinks I’ll tell you that  much!

Loaded Smoothies are 100% natural, contain zero preservatives, zero stabilisers, zero colourants and they are sugar free.

Loaded Smoothie

Loaded Smoothie

Today I tried the Loaded Smoothie Berry flavour, but they are all just so good! You honestly would never think that something so healthy can also be so tasty, but Loaded have it just right. The berry flavour contains banana, strawberry, pear juice, blackberry and aronia berry juice. Whatever that is. I also bought the Loaded Kiwi, which contains banana, apple and kiwi.


Loaded Smoothies are the secret to my happiness. And unhealthy amounts of incense…woooooooooo!

Incense sticks

You should be able to grab Loaded Smoothies in most Spar stores in Cape Town, but if your shop doesn’t stock them (Odd), then tell them to put their pants on and stop buggering around because you need a Loaded Smoothie. It’s perfect for summer. Just like tiny bikini’s and cleavage.

Oh I’ll see you filthy animals on the beach later! I’ll do Llandudno.

You can just do me.


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0 Comments If I Win You Win

Article written by the brilliant on the 22 Jan 2010 , in the Uncategorized category

Ok here is a photo of my Powerball numbers for tonight, at R45 million you’d be silly not to take it.

slxs powerball

If I do win, R1 million cash will be made available in a rocking competition! I’m posting this now at 7:15pm, just so we can’t cheat it. If those numbers come up, do get in contact with me, or get on me,  because we’ll be needing a celebration, and someone will become an instant millionaire, rad!

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0 Comments 100 Hits Of The 80′s To Change Your Life

Article written by the brilliant on the , in the Books, Movies, CD's & DVD's category

You never know which day is going to change your life, and I certainly never expected the 21st of January to change my life! But it did. The day started off fairly normal, I woke up late, tripped over the dog, went to the shop, cashed in R28 worth of lottery winnings, came back home, had writers block, cruised the internet, went to exchange a broken computer screen, then watched Bustin’ Down the Door (Aaaaaaah Gaz got me a copy…all the way from Canada! We’ll talk about that later, and we owe Gaz more than we can give!)

So anyway for those of you not in the know I grew up in Pinelands which is a dry suburb and there is no bottle store there, but funnily enough the people of Pinelands consume their body weight in papsak each morning. My parents liked the odd drink (That being in odd numbers…so they’d sip their first drink, down their second, sip their third, down their fourth and so on…) and the parties that used to go down were quite something. But this was in the 80′s, and by the end of the 80′s I was only 5…inches…from the ground! No but seriously, I was too young to even know what the sky was, but somehow the music from the 80′s was stuck in my head.

We stayed in Pine Close in Pinelands, the house right at the end of the cul-de-sac, that’s where I grew up. To me that was the biggest house in the world and I distinctly remember running like a mad child down that garden because there was just so much space. My bedroom was upstairs and looked out onto the garden, and we could also climb onto the roof above the ‘Games Room’ Now the games room was where all the shenanigans went down, because it led onto the garden and into the pool.

To say the neighbours were kept awake would be an understatement, I think they nearly died. Which is common in Pinelands because everyone is so damn old. They could probably find some Egyptian tombs there.

So my folks would party up a storm while I slept, or whatever I did, and sometimes at parties my mom would carry me around, but I wasn’t really into the whole party scene around the age of 5, so I used to just dos while she carried me. But I’d hear the music, and to this day music from the 80′s still brings me back immediately to those parties, me in my moms arms just sucking my thumb! Wondering about the point of life…

So I was at the V&A Waterfront yesterday, because about two weeks ago I had seen a CD with hits from the 80′s. I cruised in yesterday to buy it, hammered back home in The Beast and slammed it into the player.

100 Hit's Of The 80's

How do you like my two butlers? RAD!

Well slap me around and call me Susan!

It is honestly one of the most mind blowing CD’s I’ve ever in my life purchased! I didn’t recognize the names of the songs when I read them, but listening to them was like opening up the memory bank and realising I’m loaded! If you were born in the 80′s, this is simply the CD you have to own, well it’s actually 5 CD’s. For R223! That’s a steal. From what I gather you can only get this CD set at Exclusive Books in The V&A Waterfront, they have a small music section near the tills. There were only about 5 of these bad boys left, so I’d hurry if I were you, because this will simply blow your mind apart. I don’t even know where to start, but if you’re an 80′s kid, or just loved the music from that time, then how about some of these pearls:

  • A-Ha — Take On Me
  • Men At Work — Down Under
  • Tell It To My Heart — Taylor Dayne
  • Jump For My Love — The Pointer Sisters (Hugh Grant dances to this in Love Actually I believe)
  • Loco In Acapulco — The Four Tops
  • She Drives Me Crazy — Fine Young Cannibals
  • La Bamba — Los Lobos
  • Walk Like An Egyptian — Bangles
  • Footloose — Kenny Loggins
  • You’re The Voice — John Farnham (CLASSIC from my youth!)
  • Drive — The Cars

It makes such a refreshing change from music nowadays which is all digitally altered, crap, uses sex to sell utterly crap songs and is emotional to the point of me wanting to kill myself. And I also hate musicians that try to change the world, you’re a musician, I just want to hear your music. I don’t want you preaching to me about starving slave kids driving the worlds clothing industry and how if I buy your CD $1 will be donated to little Pablo to sew his his two fingers back on that were lost while sewing a pair of overpriced jeans. The 80′s were the happy days before everything turned to global warming and other stuff to distract us from living awesome lives. Now we’re so worried about everything, we take out life insurance, travel insurance, household insurance, insurance for our insurance, we have airbags in our cars, we get scanned before going anywhere, we have camera watching us, there is crime, drugs(Well bad drugs…cough…tik)…the 80′s were just free and it scares me to think that my kids won’t be able to experience the world like I did. Because it was awesome. At like 6 years old I used to walk to the shops in Pinelands (There by Magica Roma), buy sweets, and walk back. And no one dared touch me.

Because they knew that in 18 years I would be editor of this battleship!

I think it’s time the clubs in Cape Town have a proper 80′s party, only old school beats, I’d completely lose my composure. As long as bush stays out of this…we’re good!

The only thing about this CD is that it brought a tear to my eye, knowing we’ll never live in a world like we did in the 80′s. With all our technological advancement, we just seem to be going backwards. Famine. Pollution. Hate. All these bad things, and as good as things are now, I would literally do anything to go back in time.

Because back then we had it all, we had enough. Sure, we now all have much better ‘things’ than we did in the 80′s. We’ve got PVR, Blu Ray, 3D movies, better cars, easier travel, cellphones, but have these things made us happier? I really don’t think they have. Because the more ‘things’ we acquire, the more we want.

What we didn’t realise in the 80′s was that what we had was perfectly enough.

And I miss that.

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0 Comments Don’t Breach My Person With That Inappropriate Advance!

Article written by the brilliant on the 21 Jan 2010 , in the Uncategorized category

One of the things I have never been able to do, is talk like some English ponce!

I remember when I was studying journalism, you had the keen beans in class, always trying to outdo everyone with their highly advanced grasp of the English language. They’d use words that probably hadn’t been used since the Queen last had sex (With a man), and most of the time I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I’ve seen it with blogs as well, guys starting them and trying to be like writers, using words that no one understands. When reading a blog, you want a respite from your boring day, you don’t want to have to concentrate like you’re reading a damn Stephen Hawking journal. Needless to say, I’ve always avoided complicated language firstly because people don’t like reading it, and secondly because I’m too stupid to understand the words anyway.

Which is why I simply LOVED the words the Daily Mail used when some chick tried to grab David Backham’s kugelsak! This chick basically wanted to cup his balls to see if they measured up like they were in the Armani underwear advert. If you want to read the article, it is HERE.

But enjoy the photos below, and the exact words that Daily Mail used, it’s astonishing…


Shock: The moment David realises the female presenter was making an inappropriate advance


Culprit: David’s security quickly hustled him away from Di Cioccio after his person was breached

I like it how Becks acts shocked, ha ha only for the cameras!

Now it’s no surprise that woman (Older ones especially) are constantly wanting to grab, touch and tongue my balls, so it’s safe to say that in the next three to four days I will be shouting


It’s going to be awesome!

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1 Comments Visiting The Taj Cape Town

Article written by the brilliant on the 19 Jan 2010 , in the Uncategorized category

Taj CT 5

People. Standing.

The world is certainly going through bizarre times right now. There’s Al Gore and his heater on the earth. There are people taking dead bodies out of coffins, to steal the coffins, in Haiti. There are people who get paid to look after islands. People get paid to write blogs.

But more bizarre than this, is the fact that I still get invited to things in Cape Town! I know my reputation for behavior is not stellar in this town, but it’s clear that no one seems to care. From being invited to Villa Lara parties and other random events, to being given free tickets to sporting events in South Africa if I just promise to write on them, the hysterical nature of my being never stops.

Anyway, one of the more interesting invites I received was to do a tour of Taj Cape Town, the new luxury hotel in Cape Town. It’s not quite finished yet, but some members of this city were invited on a little sneak peek of what is happening. Naturally I had to be there.

Taj CT

How rad is the red 2010 Moleskine diary?

Now I won’t go into much detail, but I will tell you that the “The Twankey Bar –Seafood. Champagne. Oysters” is an absolute treat. It is part of the hotel, but is seperate and you enter it from the street. So it offers the same luxury as Taj, but they let us know that it is seperate from the actual hotel because too often, the general public will avoid hotel bars because they kind of feel unwelcome. This bar is completely open to the public, mind you if I were a plebb I probably wouldn’t go there, but I’m not so I will go there! It’s very cool, extremely plush and chilled for the more sophisticated, laid back crowd.

Taj CT 2

Our boys at Twankey doing their thang

And I will also tell you that if you visit Taj, ask for Zara. She is…well…veeeeery cute! I actually might refuse to stay at Taj unless Zara is working there. She’s cool. So Zara took us around the hotel, and I was unable to concentrate the entire time and was not hungry (Love kills my appetite) But I did listen to some of the words she was saying, and they sounded like a choir of angels who were playing little violins so sweetly in my ear.

I imagined us eloping. Then I was kicked back into life when he guy from the spa offered me a carrot juice.

“For my eyes!” I said, referring to the Vitamin A

“All the better to see my angel with!” I ended.

The valet car parking was quite rad as well, I parked the beast out front and felt like a doos when I straightened the car out in the parking spot, right outside the entrance to the Taj, as though it was going to stay there. I got out the car and some guy asked for my keys, I should have known, this is a 5-Star hotel! Why wouldn’t there be valet parking? Aaaaaaand…I’m an idiot. You can take the kid out of Claremont, but you can never take the Clarmeont out of the kid.

Taj CT 4

The food is phenomenal and everyone is so happy and friendly that it makes you feel loved! So if you’re depressed, head to Taj where everyone treats you like a rock star. If you’re depressed, bugger therapy, head to Taj. With a gym and a spa and all the cool people working there, you’ll feel better in no time. If that’s not enough, hit up the bar and the cigar bar and you’ll be radiating happiness.

We also scoped out the Presidential Suite (I like to call it the Poonidential Sweet) I believe, and the massive rooftop deck thing going on.

Taj CT 3

Kyle testing our drinks for the presence of floories

Anyway, if you really want to experience Taj Cape Town, which I recommend you do, then check out the following links:

Taj Hotels: Cape Town

Taj Cape Town Blog

BOOM! More luxury comes to Cape Town, so now you know where to stay, and more importantly, where to drink and just have a sick jolling time!

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0 Comments Lance Armstrong Visit To Cape Town

Article written by the brilliant on the , in the Cape Town Dates To Diarise category

Lance Armstrong Oakley Radar

Lance Armstrong: Wondering if he turned the sprinklers off at home

I find this VERY clever! What I have done, is simply copied and then pasted this article from Bicycling, but then I’ll reference them and it’s all legal! It’s like that time I was hooking up with a friends girlfriend and was like “Dude I’m banging your girlfriend”

He was quite off to me for a while and I was like “Dude…shut up…I referenced it!”

Anyway, Lance Armstrong is in Cape Town and there are a couple things going down for his three day POWER visit. Check it:

LANCE FOR LIFE TOUR 2010 – in proud support of the Jag Sports and Education Foundation.

Lance is in Cape Town for 3 days to raise funds for the JAG Foundation and to spread a message of hope about the importance of healthy lifestyles.

DAY 1, 9 March 2010: Spend a day with Lance Armstrong

Spend a memorable day in the company of cancer survivor and seven-time Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong, as you enjoy a sumptuous brunch, meet some of the children benefitting from this fundraising initiative and attend a banquet alongside top sporting celebrities.

A worthy cause and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet a global sports icon – book your place today!

Date: Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Donation: R50 000 per person
Time: 11am – 15.30pm brunch and school trip, 7pm banquet
Tel: 079 895 0721

To book click HERE

Read more about all this HERE, courtesy of the folks at Bicycling.

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