I’m sorry, I don’t watch loads and loads of TV, and when I do, it’s PVR’d, or I just walk away during adverts. But yesterday I saw this Romans Pizza advert and I CRINGED. It is so embarrassing for whoever made it, and for Romans Pizza, that I was embarrassed on their behalf.

Check it:

And then the music video and musician it is inspired by:

So shocking!

I’d pay them with gunshots and a boot to the face.

I was watching a movie with the girlfriend over the weekend and this ad came on for Johnnie Walker…stop.

If you watch at Cavendish, there is a small cinema upstairs, on the opposite side from where Neville normally stands. ‘Going The Distance’ showing there, so don’t actually watch it because the cinema smells like piss. Awesome!

Anyway, this ad is like 6 minutes long and while everyone was losing interest, I’m actually quite a nerd and was enjoying it! It’s more of a shirt film featuring Robert Carlyle…Robert Carlyle from Train Spotting. What an absolute legend! What fascinated me most about the advert was that is was shot all in one take, and at nearly 5 minutes of talking, that’s quite impressive from Robert! Check it out on Vimeo:

I don’t know why I enjoyed it so much, I just think it’s really cool, and you learn a little something something about Johnnie Walker. Plus, Robert Carlyles accent is awesome, and it makes you want to go out and have a Johnnie Walker.

Or Jannie Stapper as our boerie curtain folk might like to call it.

Click here for an interview and write up of the making of the short film (Via Chris Rawlinson)

I meant to write this a while back, and still had some text in a draft so it is a bit outdated, but I still think it’s rad. The reason I started writing it was because I never quite knew what the print versions of the ads meant when they said ‘Never Hide’. I then came to learn that it was from their ‘Never Hide Films’, that created the classic sunglasses catch video. Viral advertising is essentially advertising that spreads quickly over various social media platforms, and the recent Roger Federer video of him hitting a tin off a guys head is no doubt some sort of viral campaign. The most popular Ray Ban advert is the Sunglasses Catch, as seen below:

That video spread quickly over the internet amassing some 4.5 million views. To get that many views on traditional media would cost a fortune. Viral marketing is no doubt the way to go if you want your brand noticed in this day and age because everyone is in one the social media vibe, and a hit like this can spread across the globe. The only problem is that it’s difficult to replicate successes like this. We could definitely use more viral advertising locally…but I suppose it’s not that easy.

So next time asks you about viral advertising…well now you know!

You see, you learn something new every day! I’m joking, I have learnt absolutely nothing today, but then again, I did fail my IQ test on Friday. Not the highlight of my entire life, but at least I can say I tried it.

(Because I’m deeper than a shallow pond, from time to time I offer insight on the stuff that really matters in life. This is one of those rare pieces!)

And I’m not talking about sex constantly happening, but rather pointing to the fact that is is the only thing that always works when trying to promote or sell things. It’s easy and takes a lot of the guess work out of trying to figure out whether a campaign will work or not.

We see it all the time, hot promotion girls selling products at nightclubs, promotion girls for Red Bull, on golf courses…in fact anywhere where men might go. It’s easy to think up (Put minimal clothing on hot girls for maximum exposure)

The Finger clothing brand in Cape Town know this all too well, and at any event where they are, they have by far the hottest girls wearing their kit. With guys, advertising is easy, throw the products amongst some models and they’ll buy it or at least give it more than a glance. Check this out from Pro-X this year:

Promoting knee braces…ha ha ha SUBTLE use of sex sells there. But do they protect from carpet burn?

And because I have many hours spare to contemplate life, solve the worlds financial crisis, dispense priceless advice to those in need, I have time to watch TV. And all the TV shows have one thing in common: One absolute belter of a presenter amongst a team of guys!

But it works and it just goes to show that guys are easy to please. Give us a TV show of guys making cars look awesome, scams that really happen and things getting blown up and we’re happy. We don’t need to be sipping on a ‘Flaming Boner’ or an ‘Adonis’ Orgasm’ or whatever it is that chicks drink while eating some cranberry reduction Peking duck with a crisp caramel-almond shell.

We’re very easy to maintain!

I don’t want to push this too far, but I’m sure the planet digs us more because we’re not constantly buying ’stuff’ We have one pair of winter shoes, one jacket, one pair of jeans and this has got to add up to some sort of environmental saving right there. Granted we do like driving cars and flying planes and burning car tyres, but you know, if we work it all out guys are surely more environmentally friendly.

But that’s not the point of this, is it?

The point of this is just an observation of how awesome it is to be a guy, because we make other peoples jobs easily, namely marketing and advertising people. Throw in some hot chicks and well done buddy, your entire campaign is sorted!

For instance, blonde belters need to be used for drunk driving campaigns…wait…no we’re getting confused here. We’ll totally miss the point of the campaign.

If we look at Overhaulin’ with Chip Foose, we have A.J:

I don’t recall your name but I recall you once wearing a…Fez?

In Mythbusters we have Kari, while not belting, you do kind of take a liking to her. I liken it to when you go onholiday and you’re staying with girls who you wouldn’t normally hook up with, but after 10 days in a house together in some place far from home, you’re like “Well, she’s a bit of alright!” Yeah…you guys know EXACTLY what I’m talking about! (You dirty dogs!)

Viewings should drop know that she is pregnant (Not mine)

Then in The Real Hustle we have Jessica Jane Clement, who borders on NSFW every day of her life! I’m pretty sure she doesn’t own many clothes, just whips and strawberry lube.

Promoting Lynx body spray etc…I mean have you ever seen them trying to punish the sex sells angle like this?!

And that’s it really, for a successful TV show or campaign, just add sex. Whether your original message gets across or not, guys will support your brand as long as you keep giving them the good stuff.

We’re easy like that.

You’ll remember we had that video of that politician mumbling his way through a speech (HERE), awesome! Well here is the answer to what was going on:

What do you think of the ad? After the initial excitement, do you think it delivered?

I think it’s great that local agencies are trying the whole viral ad campaign angle, we’ve seen how phenomenally it can work (Ray Ban’s Never Hide campaign was stellar)

Hopefully this opens things up for a lot more viral campaigns on the local scene.

Director: Danny Boyle – Sweet Spot Content
Creative: Ross Nieuwenhuizen, Mike Pearson
Creative Directors: Ivan Johnson, Mike Schalit
Producer: Sarah Southey
Strategy: Matt Riley
Account Management: Vanessa Bowles, Abigail Louw

(Thanks Mike)

We were discussing the names given to me over the years, with probably the best one being this, when someone called me the “Mother Theresa of my generation”

Lately one of my things has been looking at accommodation in South Africa and it never ceases to amaze me at how terrible some of the websites are! It looks like they’ve put a bunch of monkeys in a room and told them to type, and whatever they typed was used as the coding for the website, and it now looks like my dog has chundered all over the screen. Honestly, they are that bad. I know proper web design costs a little bit of cash, but with the websites some places are sporting, you are never going to get any business from your website. Take a look at Aloe Ridge Hotel (HERE)

Aloe Ridge Hotel — Front Page — Are you serious?

That is honestly THE most shocking website I’ve ever come across in my entire life. Then we have Elgro Hotel (HERE), and again, just some of the most shocking web work in the entire universe, as far as Stephen Hawking can predict. That is a whole lot of shocking.

I’m stoked I’m not in web design (Because then I’d have to actually do ’stuff’), but if I were, it would be hard to be out of a job. I’d simply send these people some examples of my design and ask them if I can redesign their website. They simply cannot say no.

There are loads and loads of these websites, so if you’re a web designer, why not contact these places and please, let’s make the web a more beautiful place!

Don’t even get me started on Llandudno.co.za. I bet you someone is sitting on that name hoping to get a lot of money, but honestly, just hand it over to professionals and let’s do some justice to the place that gives me this copper bronze skin!

And remember, if you’re looking for web design, check out Obox Design by clicking here, they’re the team behind SLXS. Because there is a lot of ugly on the web, and these guys can fix it.

You’re no doubt all enjoying the fact that Vanilla Ice is back on our screens, to be honest, I’m loving it! These are exactly the type of ads that are hitting the spot with consumers and Ogilvy have hit it spot on with Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice is cool because you don’t ever hear of him that much anymore, he had the hit “Ice, Ice Baby”, but more importantly there seems to be none of the baggage that comes with superstars of today. From what we’re hearing, he’s super chilled and an all round awesome guy, something that some other celebs could learn a thing or two about. Even our local South African ‘celebrities’ who sometimes walk into nightclubs like they are the CEO’s of life.

I’m stoked Vanilla Ice has worked with a Cape Town company and been to Cape Town, and with the quality of the ad’s Ogilvy have put out, I’m suitably impressed. Let’s check the press release that SLXS received:

There is nothing like an international rap star like Vanilla Ice, to bring some tongue in cheek flavour to an already popular beer brand like Castle Lite. The commercial, created for South African Breweries (SAB), emphasises the beer’s new extra cold attribute by aligning it with Vanilla Ice, otherwise known as Robert Matthew Van Winkle, and his number one hit single from the 90’s, ‘Ice Ice Baby’.

The brief to Ogilvy Cape Town was to highlight Castle Lite’s new intrinsic proposition about being ‘extra cold’. The temperature of the product is carefully managed from brewery to bar ensuring a crisp, premium beer. The new Castle Lite products also have thermocromatic ink stickers which appear blue when at their ideal temperature for consumption – extra cold.

The campaign also includes exclusive ice-cold fridges found in premium on-premise outlets across the country; these fridges house the new products ensuring it’s served to its consumers at extreme cold temperatures.

Ogilvy Cape Town and SAB worked with director, Peter Pohorsky of Plank Films, pushing the boundaries in the beer category.

“We needed a creative device to drive home the new product offering of being ice cold – and the classic ‘Ice Ice Baby’ song proved a winner. The first prize became to get Vanilla Ice to be part of the commercial and we were thrilled when he agreed,” says Ogilvy Cape Town Creative Director, Gordon Ray.

“It was imperative to shape an idea that would break through the clutter and stand out – and what a better way to do that than to use a character like Vanilla Ice, to express what the brand is all about – an extra cold lager. The two fitted perfectly, we couldn’t have secured a more suitable collaboration.”

Emma Lundy, head of broadcast at Ogilvy Cape Town contacted his agent and negotiations began. The 90’s rap star is still very active in his performance career doing up to 100 concerts a year. He managed to find a window in his busy schedule and flew down to Cape Town for a few days to shoot the ad in a location in Stellenbosch before his next concert in Dallas. Van Winkel will be returning to the country later this year to perform in Pretoria.

“He was so calm, cool and co-operative on set”, explains Ray. “We designed a blue sequenced outfit which he was more than happy to wear and we shaved his head and eyebrows to create his original look from the 90’s. He was really a pleasure to work with – he’s still got all the moves and the attitude and was eager to do whatever was required, and improvise.”

The lead actor in the ad, Sekoati Tusban of Sewende Laan was one of Vanilla Ice‘s most devoted fans as a young child. Tusban and the rest of the cast were in for a big surprise when Vanilla Ice appeared on set, as they were unaware he would be joining them in the commercial until the day of the shoot.

“It’s amazing what’s possible when we stop, collaborate, and listen,” concludes Ogilvy Cape Town Managing Director, Gavin Levinsohn.

Ha ha, I dig Gavin’s little ending there, classic! It’s refreshing seeing such a fun group of people, because I’m sure most of you have a bad image of celebrities and anyone working in TV, but between Ogilvy Cape Town and Vanilla Ice, they’re just a regular group of people, have an insane amount of fun. I love it! Let’s have a look at the advert, it really is the radness (Copyright Jerry D, 2009):

And a quick behind the scenes look at the making of the advert:

Um…is Cape Town once again proving to be the most awesome place to live in the entire world? I think so!

Well done to Ogilvy on that one, because it’s rare for literally all my friends to be talking about one advert in particular, but they’ve nailed it with this.

Once again going to show that there are some productive people in Cape Town. Ha ha!

*Sean hides behind his magazine, refusing to take questions”

This is some quite exciting news for local ad agency, Ogilvy Cape Town, using the worlds most famous footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo. You know the man, you know his money, he’s fit, fast, good looking and glides around the pitch like no one else.Basically all men want to be him, and all women want to be with him! I may be exaggerating that a touch…but you know what? I do it because I can!

I think this widely dispels the myth that Cape Town is chilled out and lazy. Well, you know, we actually are! But I tell you, the ad agency people actually do work and I mean this seriously. They’re always working and it scares me to think that the whole world hasn’t read the 4 Hour Work Week (HERE). Then there are the people who write about the city, ha ha ha! Work = beach. Granted we earn less than people from Joburg, but it’s a small price to pay for 1pm Fridays, awesome beaches, no work in summer, Table Mountain, regularly being voted one of the worlds top cities, having fashion models from around the world WILLINGLY descend onto the city to work. I mean come now, it is a bit of a joke!

Cape Town is crazy when it comes to wealth and beauty. Not only are our guys and girls gorgeous, but we get all the gorgeous people from around the world actually filling up our shores. It’s like a fashion show here, all the time! I don’t even try pose anymore, it’s just built into the DNA of anyone from Cape Town! And if that is not enough craziness, Ogilvy Cape Town have been involved in this;

From the press release:

In what may be Ogilvy Cape Town’s most prestigious international celebrity TV shoot, the local agency has used Cristiano Ronaldo to create a Castrol EDGE commercial to be flighted across the world from September this year.  The commercial, created for BP Lubricants UK Ltd, emphasises both Ronaldo and the oil’s ability to perform under extreme conditions.

This ad follows in the footsteps of Ogilvy Cape Town’s recent Sun International ad with Charlize Theron. In the commercial Ronaldo demonstrates his ability to play football in extreme hot and cold weather conditions and then matches this to the oil’s capacity to do the same.

“While the glamour of shooting overseas with Cristiano Ronaldo is undeniably seductive, more exciting is the fact that we’re developing global work for a global brand from Ogilvy Cape Town,” says Gavin Levinsohn, Ogilvy Cape Town Managing Director.

FIFA’s 2008 World Footballer of the year, Cristiano Ronaldo, is a brand ambassador for Castrol and a natural fit for a youthful oil brand such as Castrol EDGE. Like the oil, Ronaldo is able to perform under harsh and varied conditions.

“He drives his performance in the game to the edge and delivers the critical moment that sets him apart from all the others in his field. His level of preparation and performance ability whilst operating on the edge is the metaphor that we apply to an engine driven in extreme and trying conditions using Castrol’s Liquid Engineering EDGE,” explains Ogilvy Cape Town Executive Creative Director, Chris Gotz.

The agency predicted some production challenges and therefore needed directors with specific criteria to ensure the ad would be nothing short of a victory. Previous experience with celebrities was a necessity, as well as competence in post production, experience in filming cars, skills in managing various global production houses and the ability to get a good performance out of a non-actor.

A few directors declined the job as only six hours with Ronaldo seemed a limited amount of time to get all the essential shots. The agency short-listed two directors from the United Kingdom and a local director from Giant Films in Cape Town, Ian Gabriel, who also directed Ogilvy Cape Town’s Sun International ad with Charlize Theron.

Gabriel has developed a strong reputation for producing quality work for prestige blue chip clients across the globe including Sun International, Volkswagen Passat, American Express and Carling Black Label for Ogilvy Cape Town.

“Despite the concern around only having six hours with Ronaldo, the shoot day was a huge success. His performance on the day was immaculate. He stayed for the full six hours putting in the dedicated effort that was needed. Flawless pre-planning also ensured smooth sailing, including the use of a Ronaldo double who did full rehearsals prior to the shoot,” adds Gotz.

The ad was shot in several locations; a desert scene was filmed in the Richtersveld, Namibia, Ronaldo’s shots in Manchester and the remainder of the commercial was shot in and around the Western Province as all extreme weather conditions can be found in the Cape.

Both the oil and the soccer player have unique characteristics that have kept them at number one in their respective fields. On the road and on the field, Castrol EDGE and Ronaldo have the perfect ingredients to produce ultimate performance under even the most extreme conditions. To prove how EDGE delivers this extreme engine performance, the oil was frozen to a spine-chilling -55°C, blasted with fire to a blistering 340°C and driven  for 72 hours at 150°C – without the engine missing a beat.]

Ronaldo maintains his amazing physique by lifting in excess of 20 tonnes – the equivalent of 10 Audi 4×4s – during a full weight training session. He has great speed and skill but most of all his unpredictability does not allow teams to anticipate what he is likely to do. He is used in such a way that he often drifts, which makes it hard for anyone to isolate him.  He poses a threat with both feet and equally, is very strong in the air in front of goal. This combination is a huge threat and it’s rare that a player has all of these qualities.

Manchester United recently received a world record £ 80 million bid for Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid, making Ronaldo the highest paid football player in the world.

“Our driving philosophy is liberation: liberating our clients, brands and our own talent. This ad provides such an opportunity for Castrol as a brand, and pushed our staff into some new territory too,” concludes Levinsohn.

Now for the ad, in what we term a motion picture:

Well well! Charlize Theron and Cristiano Ronaldo, very nice guys and girls!

You know what, I think I’m falling in love again. With Cape Town. With the people. With the work we do.

Is anyone going to Llandudno today, this weather is stellar.

Hey? I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it!

Ok that’s enough with this article, let’s throw it.

(Woopsie daisies, there we go again!)

No seriously guys we need to move on from this article now I’m going to the bank now, I OWE IT!

*OMG is this really happening?!*

Ha ha, ok ok, seriously though we all need to grow up.

The bank are expecting me to show up.

NO MAN!

But one last time, I’m out of here.

That is the end now.

(Does this sunny weather also make you hysterical?)

Listen now, let’s not be foolish and think that there is no party tonight. Yes, I know you’re doing Earthdance, tripping balls on acid and stuff, but if you have half a brain you will know that the advertising sector of South Africa is in Cape Town for the Loerie Awards and they are going positively off their tits.

The Loerie Awards Festival started yesterday and runs until Sunday. Four days of excess and we won’t go into the finer details of what sort of excess, Pablo.  The actual awards ceremony takes place tonight in Cape Town as well as tomorrow night.

You need to understand, that the Loerie awards is NEVER in Cape Town, and this is your chance to hook up with inebriated advertising people! Trust me, there are loads of beautiful people in advertising and they have all called me this morning saying that they have absolutely no ambitions.

A little snippet from the website:

After the awards ceremonies on Friday and Saturday evenings, a chunk of Long Street will be closed off on both nights as the street is transformed into the Loeries Village.

From 9pm to 4am, Long Street will be pedestrianised from Bloem Street to Buitensingel and closed to motor vehicles.

The official after party venue will be made up of Long Street Cafe, Mojito, Julep and Vredenburg Lane. Long Street in this area will only be accessible to Loeries delegates. A marquee will be erected over Long Street and Vredenburg Lane will be covered with bedouin tents.

Additional serving areas will be available in the street including over 25 metres of bar space in Long Street and in the courtyard at the end of Vredenburg Lane. Tapas will be served and there will be a Very Important Ego (VIE) lounge.

ARTIST AND DJ LINE UP:
FRIDAY – Bruno Morphet (Killer Robot), Good Luck (Live Electro Act), The Champs, Mpholo, Ready D
SATURDAY – Bruno Morphet (Killer Robot), Tyrone Paulson (Good Hope FM), Goldfish, Thibo Tazz, Kurt (Top Dawg Good Hope FM)

Trust me, it will be mental. There is so much information so for more please
click here.

And click here to check out the full schedule.

Then tell me you’re not aroused?!

I got given this is my car around two weeks ago when I was in Kenilworth which is the area that you only go to to pick up your drugs.

Check this awesome advert, for dustless sanding:

I think the selling point is the guys face on the advert, I’d never trust it otherwise. Stunning.

So Gary Coleman is in a new advert for New York Fries (Thanks to The Superficial for this) which might seem odd at first. For New York Fries it is cool because it’s cheap to get Gary Coleman to do a gig. Give him some small change, or some booze and he’s there like a baby bear.

ACTUAL SIZE

Other than that I couldn’t see why they would choose Gary Coleman. But then I found some reasons:

1) Gary is like a chip. Short and curly.

2) Gary is full of fat

3) If you are what you eat, then Gary is a chip.

Good grief, you don’t realise how much background information is taken into account before actually choosing a brand ambassador. It seems there is more to advertising executives than just cocaine and sex parties.

Mmmmmm…nice career.

I assume you have viewed the Coke Zero ad in cinemas where we get to see a belter of an ass courtesy of the bird in the ad. It’s based along “The Impossible Made Possible”, no doubt taking cues from Tom “Crazy” Cruise in Mission Impossible. It’s weird because the first thing I thought was “Why would the chicks folks be so desperate to get into her apartment early in the morning?”

I mean, she’s allowed to bang if she wants to dammit!

Then after the dude gets pulled out by a SWAT team, you see explosions from the building where the chick and her parents are in. Did no one realise that this means that the building has blown up?

A screenshot from the ad. Well done, Fabio! Click HERE to view the advert.

So I assume this guy essentially kills this hot chick and her folks? All for a Coke Zero perhaps?

Did no one at Coke realise how stupid this ad seems when they really think about it? Why do no other websites acknowledge that this guy has killed one of Gods finer specimens?

View the advert HERE (Enjoy the 44 second mark, where the dog runs away. Look at its legs. Cute!)

I’m spent, that chick was amazing and she gets blown up over a Coke Zero.

Ridiculous!

Sean Lloyd

Editor