1 Comments Reviewing The True Utility KeyTool Set

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 08 Oct 2010 , in the Product reviews category

true utility key tool

With being the only online mens store that I use, I naturally tend to get sent a few things from time to time that I don’t pay for (Naughty) One of my recent mailings was a cool little key tool with a couple of uses. The Key Tool has two screwdrivers, a nail file, tweezers, wire cutters and a bottle opener amongst its arsenal.

It fits over your key snugly, so doesn’t add any bulk to your key set which is cool, because one of my hates is having a chain full of keys. So this has some tools without all the bulk.

true utility key tool

The only problem I find is that you need to unclip the key tool to make use of the screw drivers, tweezers and the wire cutter. Then again, this is solely an emergency type of tool and not something you’re going to be using every day, so I’m fine with this and it’s actually not a problem. To be honest I didn’t test the wire cutter, and I did try the tweezers, which seem to work decently, but I didn’t try them on actually removing a splinter. Splintering myself for a product review isn’t quite my scene. The nail file doesn’t seem to too effective, I tried that and it didn’t really work on my nails that are admittedly, built of titanium. Because I’m a real man. But then again, you’re a dude, you don’t really need a nail file.

Being a man though, the only thing you’re really going to use morning, afternoon and night is the bottle opener. And this works 100%! It is quite small but when you need a beer, either you’re going to use your eye socket (Not ideal) or your teeth (Not ideal) And look, the True Utility Key Tool is only R95, so it’s good to use just as a bottle opener! And you will never lose it unless you lose your keys in which case you’re screwed anyway.

opening a castle lite

bottle opener

Castle Lite. What? Are they sponsoring me or something?

Another bonus is that you don’t need to take the key tool off your key to use the bottle opener, so for it’s main use, the True Utility Key Tool scores an A+.

So it does come approved by me, basically just as a bottle opener, as I think that is the sole use of this tool, and for R95, you can’t go wrong at having a bottle opener always on you.

Click here to buy it safely and securely on my favourite online men’s shop,

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3 Comments Green Mamba Ready Mix Cane And Creme Soda

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 09 Sep 2010 , in the Product reviews category

green mamba creme soda

I only felt it right that ek luister na Jack Parow during the writing of this article. Even though he drinks brandy, I thought this was suited anyway.

While many of the top bloggers want all sorts of rubbish in return for mentioning a product, I just kind of dig blogging and will mention things if I like them and if I score some free stuff. I have to like the products though, otherwise I’m not too interested.

So anyway Green Mamba were in contact with me because I’m a super cool blogger who is just not cool enough to hang in the same circles as the people who share the same advertisers, like CTG. I’ve seen those Nomu and Vida and Sunglass Hut ads on another blog! I just can’t seem to pinpoint it…weird.

Anyway, I actually remember a time when I used to piss Sunlight dishwashing liquid, in my decadent and hedonistic student days where creme soda was definitely a food source. Crisis, I was at Brandhouse the other day and they are quite good with educating staff about the dangers of full time boozing. So I’m guessing that Green Mamba want me to add in some sort of line about drinking responsibly. But let’s be honest, when your taste buds are only developed enough to enjoy cane and creme soda, you have one or two reasons to get drunk:

1) Get pants shittingly drunk and black out, thus forgetting that you just failed 2nd year at Stellies.
2) Pull loads of chicks with your super cool wicked smooth lines.

Cane and Creme Soda is basically married to Terrace in Stellies, and this is where you’ve probably enjoyed a delicious creme soda many a time. Not that you’d remember, you’ll just remember waking up in a first years dorm and thinking “I’m sure she wasn’t on crutches last night”

Well I heard this. Via the grapevine!

Such is life.

So Green Mamba gets launched and I firstly need to mention a flaw in the product, the can is too small. It’s like Superjuice, how is it that Superjuice cans are now smaller, but the price increased from the old days?

I think a 340ml can with two shots of cane would be a better choice. I’m not sure how much is in Green Mamba, its 6% booze? People want to smash cane and creme soda in their faces, they want to tear the can with their teeth, they want to run naked through Stellenbosch. You can’t do this on a 275ml can. They want to go streaking through the quad and into the gymnasium.

green mamba cane

We gave the Mamba a little test on the boys weekend in Tokai this past weekend, and obviously being the boys, we had to abuse the name ‘Green Mamba’ (As we scare away any potential advertisers)

green mamba cane and creme soda

Although, your mamba shouldn’t be green. Unless you’ve just come back from Vegas. Then you have two weeks for those antibiotics to work their way through you. If it’s still not cleared up by then…well then I guess some shit doesn’t stay in Vegas.

Jokes aside about being blind drunk, Green Mamba is RAD though, the taste is good without being heavy handed on the cane. I can’t describe it to you, you all know what it tastes like. I guess the market for a ready mix cane and creme is very small and pretty much aimed at the student market. Which is where I’d worry, as these guys don’t have the money to pay a premium price for a ready mix drink. They want to buy two litres of creme soda, and drink 750ml’s of cane with that creme soda. I mean, I know some heavy boozers who can easily hit a bottle of cane.

In fact, they WANT to hit a bottle of cane. To drink this much in Green Mamba, you’d probably have to clean a case of the stuff. And if you’re at a bar, you are going to choose for the barman to mix you a cane and creme soda rather than buying a can of the stuff. I just can’t quite see where the product fits in with the target market. Cane and creme soda is aimed at a young market, who don’t want to spend loads of cash.

So the product is awesome, it’s delicious and its easy. But I just don’t know about the longevity of it. Guys want to drink huge quantities of cane for very little money.

And I don’t see Green Mamba accomplishing any of those two things.

Great product, good mix, great taste.

I’m just not sure how the market will react to it.

We can go on and on about responsible drinking, but the fact remains that the cane and creme soda market are anything but responsible. You don’t see grown men in suits drinking cane and creme soda. But this is what I was chatting about to some friends the other day, is it really the manufacturers responsibility to ensure that clients treat their products responsibly? I don’t think it is, at all. I get sold a car, and it is not Peugeots responsibility to ensure that I drive at the speed limit. So with drinks it should be the same. Smoking the same, people know the dangers, do we need signs all over the packaging telling us how bad it is? No one cares, that’s why people still smoke *Cue end of my responsible drinking talk!*

Oh I also found out this other awesome way to fix yourself after a bender!

Naturally you’re going to be dehydrated and your stomach is going to be a little out of balance (Read: mixing cement). But you don’t want to drink water because it tastes kak on a hangover. I have literally found your all in one solution, I drink this stuff like tea:


How is that? It hydrates you, gives you probiotics so you stop kakking yourself and its creme soda flavoured! Get it at Dis Chem in Cavendish Square.

Now I’ve had loads of these creme soda sachets, and they are delicious! I always keep a few in my drawer and just drink them when I’m thirsty. It’s great! It’s almost like liquid porn. Liquid erotica!

And that’s what I’m here for. Your health! I break you down with booze…and I build you back up again when you’re hanging like Paris Hiltons sleeve.

It’s a pleasure.

Note: The views in this article are solely mine, and are not reflective of Green Mamba whatsoever. Practice responsible drinking, and if you are drunk, call a Rikkis. This is an entirely independent review with independent opinions and I am in no way associated with Green Mamba, nor are they associated with SLXS.

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8 Comments Rash Caused By Piz Buin Sunscreen

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 24 Nov 2009 , in the Product reviews category

(For the photo of the rash caused by the Piz Buin, please click HERE)

So I had a fairly awesome weekend of sunning it, except for Sunday night where the backs of my ears started getting itchy. On Monday (Yesterday) I had a rash everywhere I had applied Piz Buin In Sun SPF 15, and today (Tuesday) I’m probably going to kick the bucket! My eyes are swollen, my ears are swollen and there was quite a little belter in the pharmacy who would not stop staring at me…for all the wrong reasons. It honestly looks like I’ve been chilling in the boxing ring with Manny Pacquiao.

Manny Pacquiao

That’s me on the left, and Piz Buin SPF 15 In Sun Lotion on the right

So I’m not saying don’t buy Piz Buin, but actually…wait…I am. I used the Piz Buin SPF 15 In Sun Lotion last summer and it was fine, and I even used the Piz Buin SPF 30 Active Lotion two weeks ago with no problems. But the SPF 15 In Sun Lotion makes me look like I’ve been sleeping around and doing drugs.

Piz Buin SPF 15 Causing Rash

The bottle that slayed a Greek God in Cape Town

I find hooking up with the opposite sex difficult enough as it is, and now we need to complicate things with a rash.

“What’s that rash?” Girl says

“Oh no just some sunscreen I used”

“Yeah whatever, I bet you do loads of drugs and sleep around”

You see where this leaves me Piz Buin? Summer has just kicked in on the Cape Town side, and now I’ve been sidelined from the action for God knows how long? A week? Two weeks? A month? From the other peoples concerns, it looks like I could be out of the pants party for a month. I mean, come on! Sort your stuff out, this is a joke. And you say your products are dermatologically tested? Whatever!

I’ve never had a rash from sunscreen and now this hits me…

Oh and I e-mailed you guys earlier, I trust you will be replying with a free holiday trip, or something or other to make up for the major inconvenience this is causing on my life.

Thanks! Spending summer indoors is really what I dreamed of!

Seriously though, the reviews from the latest batch of Piz Buin products are terrible, as seen on Review Centre. Let’s have a look at what some others said (There are loads of these reviews, all with the same problems):

“I returned from a 2 week holiday on 14th August, the last week being totally spolit by a nasty red and extremely itchy rash plus swelling around my neck and eyes from piz buin. I visited the local doctor and was given a steriod injection plus anti histamine tablets. One week later I am still suffering. Having read the other reviews of Piz Buin I am now sure that this was the cause of the problem. Like other reviewers I have used Piz Buin for many years, as has my husband, who also had a much milder reaction to this product. I will be taking this up with Piz Buin and urge others to do the same.”

And another review:

“I too have suffered a severe allergic reaction to the Piz Buin 1 day long lotion as described by others on this site, needing treatment with steroids and antihistamines. The itching is still a problem after 3 weeks but is now improving. I have used this product for the last 2 years and found it great but the problem seems to be that they have now added oxybenzone (look it up – its not nice!)to the product. The packaging gives you no reason to think the product has changed. I have contacted Johnsons who seem to have a team dealing with this problem. They will send out a questionnaire and have offered to refund the cost of the lotion. I would urge everyone who has suffered this reaction to contact them in the hope that this will make them reconsider using these chemicals, after all the product was great before! I would consider this product unsafe to use at the moment.”

Click here to read the rest of the stories.

I’ll keep you updated as to when I can leave the house again.

UPDATE: The new Piz Buin formulations use oxybenzone, commonly known to cause skin reactions, wow that’s very clever to add that to your formulations! This from the Island Tribe website:

“The most famous sunscreen is PABA (para amino benzoic acid). PABA became so well known because a significant number of people turned out to be allergic to it. Most products are now “PABA Free” but many people still have problems with one or another of the organic sunscreens. For example, Benzophenone (Oxybenzone) is an organic sunscreen that is commonly used. It is probably the one most associated with adverse reactions.”

So are SLXS looking at an Island Tribe sponsorship for the Cape Town Summer 2009/2010 season? I think that’s the direction we’re heading in.

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0 Comments The New Ipod Shuffle Is Naughty

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the , in the Product reviews category

Green iPod shuffle 2GB

With sunglasses, a book and a tea light candle for size perspective (That’s what she said)

You know how when you see a sale in a shop, and you don’t really have money, but the stuff is on sale so you buy it anyway, even if on credit? Well the new iPod shuffle is going to become one of those buys. At only R599 for a 2GB shuffle that holds around 500 songs, it’s one of those purchases that just needs to happen, especially when you see the new shuffle.

Firstly, there are no controls on the body of the iPod, it’s simply a little casing, and the controls are located on the earphone cable. Very clever on Apples part, because now you need to buy replacement cables from Apple. Very smart! So one the cable there is this little button, as seen above.

Press the top piece to increase the volume, the bottom to decrease it. Click the centre once to pause, twice to go to the next song and three times to go to the previous song. It’s insane! At first I thought this new cable control was going to be a huge mission, but it’s actually better than the previous shuffle.

Another awesome new feature is the voice over so it can tell you what song is playing, but more importantly you can turn the shuffle off and then on quickly again and a voice tells you how much battery power is left. Genius! It’s half the size of my “F U” finger, holds 500 songs, costs R599 and is simply stunning to look at!

I’ve previously owned regular iPods which are great, but for sports the iPod Shuffle is a winner. It’s small and hassle free, and the cool thing is if you break it/lose it it doesn’t cost a fortune. Obviously regular iPods are cool for taking loads of music everywhere and organising sick playlists and storing dirty photos and things, but the iPod shuffle is awesome.

Thumbs Up:

Affordable for everyone.

Small, easy to carry.

New buttons on the earphone cable make things really simple, especially during exercise.

It’s from Apple!

Thumbs Down:

You can only buy new earphones from Apple.

With it’s size, it’s easy to leave in a pocket that will end up in the wash…

An all round quality buy though, it keeps me happy. In my pants.

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3 Comments Nike Pro Compression Shorts Review

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 16 May 2009 , in the Product reviews category

I run a fair amount at the moment, and one thing I hate more a drunk chick vomiting on me are those ridiculous outfits that runners wear, namely those dental floss vests and “polly shorts”, the shorts that show your nutsack to the world. I actually have a pair of CapeStorm running shorts which are short, but offer a good length. The only problem is this story:

I’m running two weeks ago, and I was getting hideous stares from people which was weird because I wasn’t running with a hard on. Kids were skeefing me out, moms were pulling their kids out of my way and chicks were laughing (Oh my GOD he’s huge) I honestly had no idea why I was getting weird vibes, because I was throwing out happy vibes.

I then realised that with every step…there is no other way to say this…my machine was bouncing up and down and everyone could see.

*Naughty giggle*

So that’s pretty messed up. Eight year old kids saw my Ron Jeremy. Not ideal.

Anyway I walked home after that pretending I had pulled a hammie. Then I remembered that chick from 91 and nearly busted a wood, so luckily my shorts had a waist band. But then it’s a pity the wind was blowing into me. Too embarrassing to even think of again.

So I drove straight to Lillywhites in the V&A Waterfront and bought a pair of Nike Pro compression shorts. They’re essentially like cycling shorts, without the padding and are fantastic for wearing under regular shorts for running. Because you can’t wear regular boxers or underwear, because you’ll chafe like a mo-fo. The Nike Pro Compression Shorts are a super comfortable fit with no chafing seams, they’re made of Nike’s Dri-Fit material and they look awesome. Dri-Fit dries quickly which is essential because this keeps the skin dry and prevents chafing and uncomfortable skin.

nike pro shorts

That’s me modeling them

The Nike Pro Compression Shorts are perfect if you like to wear baggier shorts for running, but need a comfortable under garment. I run 10km’s in these with no problems. I’m also wearing other Nike running shorts, which we will speak about next time. And they will be cool to wear as underwear to the beach, with just a hint of the words “Nike Pro” showing, which let’s chicks know you’re fit and able. TO BANG!

Get Nike Pro Compression Shorts at all major sports stores in Cape Town, mine are from Lillywhites at the V&A Waterfront. Also check out the new Nike Store at Canal Walk in Cape Town. And this is some skin to show you what the Nike Pro compression shorts look like on me, to increase the female readership:

nike pro shorts

Ja I use OMO hey

What? Nike Pro Compression shorts

Where? Lilywhites, V&A Waterfrint, Cape Town.

Price? R260 (Don’t worry, the recession is a hoax)

Sean Lloyd


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0 Comments African Bliss Natural Soaps are amazing

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 10 Mar 2009 , in the Fashion & Grooming category

One of the best things you can do for your body, is never to use a store bought soap again, such as Lux and all those soaps. I haven’t used them for ages as they continually gave me poroblems due to their inferior quality. I discovered hand crafted, pure soaps and have never looked back!

This time around I came across the African Bliss range of soaps and they are truly amazing! (As we switch to FULL metrosexual mode!)

african bliss honey beeswax soap

Next time you shower (Sooner rather than later) just have a look at the ingredients on your shower gel, or on your soap wrapper. There will be loads of things, virtually all of them unrecognisable names. These are all inferior ingredients that you don’t need on your skin, you don’t need to absorb them into your body and they don’t need to be washed down our drains.

My bar of African Bliss Honey Beeswax soap has ingredients that are simple, and I can pronounce them. And there are very few ingredients, but they are of the highest quality. The ingredients on the Honey Beeswax soap are as follows:

african bliss ingredients

100% pure oils (Olive oil, coconut oil, beeswax, vegetabe shortening)


Essential oils – Benzoin

And that’s it! I can honestly attest to this soaps attributes of being suitable for even the most sensitive skin. I would normally need to use a moisturiser after showering, but with the African Bliss Honey Beeswax soap this is not necessary as my skin is no longer dry after showering. So while it may cost more than regular soaps, it is a truly worthwhile purchase.

If you have skin problems from regular store bought soaps, the African Bliss range is truly a treat. It’s hand made by a family in the Kouga mountains and is one of the best soaps currently available on the market, in my opinion.

A highly recommended product.

It is available at selected health stores, and also available online by clicking HERE.

Also click HERE for the African Bliss blog.

Sean Lloyd


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1 Comments The Body Shop For Men Maca Root Face Scrub

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the , in the Fashion & Grooming category

A new addition (I believe) to the Body Shop For Men range is the Maca Root range of body products.

The Body Shop don’t have the purest products around (Compared to those available at Faithful To Nature), and they also tend to be brought in from around the world. The Maca Root Face Scrub uses Peruvian Maca Root and is produced in Hungary, and then imported to South Africa so it’s carbon footprint would probably be larger than something produced here in South Africa.

However, compared to other brands, The Body Shop does have some good things about it. They are against animal testing and support community trade  which provides valuable income to communities around the world.

Onto the product.

We all know that you (Yes, guys as well as girls) should be using a face scrub 1-2 times a week to give your skin a deeper clean than a regular face scrub would. It’s vital to do this in order to keep your skin in great condition and the Body Shops Maca Root Face Scrub is a treat.

body shop maca root face scrub

Currently using, and enjoying the Maca Root Face Scrub

It’s made with Peruvian Maca Root and creatine which help boost the vitality of the skin, as well as firming and soothing the skin. The exfoliation comes in the form of crushed rice particles which do the heavy cleaning. Remember when using a face scrub, to let the scrub do the work. Rub it in gently, as harsh rubbing is damaging to the skin, especially those with sensitive skin.

It also contains Community Trade sesame oil which is a great moisturiser.

The Body Shop Maca Root Face Scrub is creamy in texture, roughened by the rice particles but all in all it is very soothing scrub to use and does not feel harsh at all. If anything, the creaminess of the scrub moisturises your skin while exfoliating it. It’s unlike regular store bought products that feel as if they are completely stripping your skin (The Nive For Men face scrub comes to mind, which I previously used) This Maca Root Face Scrub actually adds oils back into your skin and doesn’t leave it feeling tight and dry (Like Paris Hilton. Minus the tight I suppose)

I’ve used it twice after buying it last week and it really is a great product and has worked very effectively for me, applying the Trevarno Men’s Organic Moisturiser afterwards (Click HERE for that review)

The feel of it is natural and it has a very neutral smell which is fantastic. There is nothing worse than a face scrub that smells artificial.

At R90 for 125ml’s, it really is a great addittion to your weekly grooming routine. Considering that face scrubs last such a long time, R90 is very little at all, even in this recession!

The Body Shop For Men Maca Root Face Scrub comes highly recommended, and personally tested right here at SLXS.

Chicks dig guys with good skin, so it’s worth it.

There are other products in the Maca Root range For Men and available at The Body Shop. These products include the Maca Root Balancing Face Protector,  Maca Root Deodorant Stick,  Maca Root Energetic Face Protector, Maca Root Eye Serum, Maca Root Face Wash, Maca Root Razor Relief and the Maca Root Shave Cream.

There are Body Shop stores throughout Cape Town, inclusing ones at Cavendish Square, Canal Walk, V&A Waterfront and Constantia.

Click HERE for The Body Shop website in South Africa.

And remember, for R75 you can get your Body Shop card, which entitles you to 10% off every purchase for a year.

Sean Lloyd


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0 Comments Trevarno Organic Men’s Moisturiser

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 25 Sep 2008 , in the Fashion & Grooming category

It’s a well known fact that I like to keep my youthful looks through a debaucherous drinking regime healthy diet and the right skincare products. Seriously, I’m not really afraid to admit things and I have probably been using moisturiser since standard 7. Hey, the ridicule I would have received! It seems I was way ahead of my time in that respect. Back in the D everyone would have laughed had I told them I actually used a face wash that did not contain soap, and that I put cream on my face, like a chick!

For me it’s been necessary as I have always had very dry skin, even after supplementing with flaxseeds and fish oil supplements. And that’s one of the reasons for my silky smooth skin, I have always spent some decent money on it. Obviously now I don’t buy things anymore because they get sent to me for free! Well…not exactly.

But in this case, Faithful to Nature have been kind enough to send me one of their top men’s products, in the form of the Trevarno Organic Men’s Facial Moisturiser. Being organic, you will not find anything unnatural in this face cream, and it really does do your skin wonders. I have been using it in place of my normal cream for the past couple of days, and it’s an absolute treat!

Trevarno Organic Men's Facial Moisturiser

On my face

What I love about it is that it does not smell of a moisturiser that is artificial. I used the Aramis Lab Series Lift Off Plus moisturiser a couple of years ago, and I couldn’t get over the smell of it. All day it would make me feel ill.

Coming in at R203 for 30ml’s, the Trevarno moisturiser is not as cheap as something like, say a Nivea moisturiser. But that’s not what we are about…we are about giving you the best in lifestyle choices! I would never recommend something inferior and this Trevarno moisturiser is the absolute best.

The moisturiser contains oils of Jojoba, Olive with Calendula, Sesame and Carrot Oil and Grapefruit Seed Extract. Those of you in the know in health circles (Like I am…cough cough…) will know that a supplement called Procydin is made from grape seed extract. Grape seed extract is a powerful anti-oxidant, so should help to protect your skin from oxidative stress caused by smoke, pollution and the sun (I kid you not…that line was not copied and pasted, that’s from memory, I’m a God!)

Furthermore it is enriched with Vitamin E, well known in aiding healthy skin.

FURTHERmore it is blended with antibacterial Teatree, Lemongrass and Rosewood essential oils so you are not going to be breaking out like you do with that cheap cream you have been using from Pick ‘n Pay.

Using a moisturiser such as the Trevarno Men’s Organic Moisturiser is one of the best things you can do to keep a hold of your youthful skin, and the earlier you start using it the better. Look we all want to be like Bear Grylls and tell people we don’t use moisturiser, but lets be honest here. I see all my friends, drinking beer, smoking, going to outdoor festivals, but secretly they keep loads of moisturiser in their bathroom cabinets! I’ve seen it guys! Don’t be shy…Look at me…I’m letting the whole of Cape Town know.

In my personal opinion this is one of the finest moisturisers for men out there. I think it’s probably just as comfortable sitting in your bathroom cabinet as it is next to a bottle of whisky. The black tub with the silver lid almost hides the fact that it’s a moisturiser…and it’s organic. The smell of this cream is absolutely stunning and cannot be compared to anything else you have ever tried. The container can also be recycled easily as it’s glass which is a bonus.

Guys trust me I know all the moisturisers and this is the one you want. I cannot even describe the smell but it’s just very natural and does not clog up your nose with some overpowering fragrance all day. The fragrance is courtesy of the natural blend of ingredients and is quite calming to the senses!

I have quite dry skin if I don’t use cream, and this keeps my skin soft all day and yet it it’s not greasy. It also doesn’t feel like you’re wearing a mask, as I sometimes find some creams feels thick and heavy on your face. It’s light yet moisturising, absorbs quickly and is easy to apply. It’s the perfect men’s moisturiser and the packaging even makes it look Chuck Norris!

I’ve just washed my face this morning and applied the Trevarno Organic Men’s moisturiser and just look a the results! My skin is glowing!



So if you want to look youthful, if you want chicks to touch you, if you want to make more money, feel more confident, have healthier and smoother skin then Trevarno moisturiser is the answer!

Another great thing about using a face cream is that you keep your tan longer, and even in the middle of winter, you just look healthier. I’m often asked in winter why I look so tanned, and I don’t do the fake tan thing, so I have to put this down to my diet, drinking lot’s of filtered water (In between binges of alcohol) and also using the very best moisturisers.

So do the right thing and click HERE to buy the same Trevarno moisturiser I have on my face right now.

And for the ladies…there is obviously the rest of the stunning Trevarno range for you, and there is a 20% discount when you buy the cleanser, toner and moisturiser. Click HERE to get it!

Also look out for the great ranges from Esse , Garden Route Organics and The Victorian Garden which is a luxurious yet very cost effective range.Three fabulous brands (All local I believe. And yes, I can and will use the word “fabulous”)

UPDATE: CRISIS that’s a big photo of my face!

Sean Lloyd


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0 Comments The Richard Branson way

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 16 Sep 2008 , in the Product reviews category

I rarely, if ever, mention books on my website as I’m not much of a book fan, although as you will know I am quite well read!

But I really do enjoy biographies and autobiographies. My favourite two books have to be from Richard Branson, entitled Losing My Virginity and his short read book entitled Screw It, Let’s Do It.


From the editors personal collection, from his office that has many leather bound books and smells of rich mahogany

As you may have noticed, I do things a little differently in life. I take the work I want to do, if I want a drink during work hours I will have one, I work on projects that I’m passionate about and that I believe in. I have never been good at doing things or participating in things that I’m not 100% confident in. And I think a little bit differently…I’m not into the 9-5, suit wearing, following the crowd working in an office vibe. I hate that. I also don’t like lives that are perfectly planned out. People who tell me their 5 year plan, and their 10 year plan drive me mad.

It’s good to plan ahead a little, but, and I know it’s a cliche, you need to live for today. Do what you want, have fun, and in the process make money. When you are passionate about something you work harder at it and eventually the money comes because people believe that you believe in the product or line of work you are in.

Ok…getting a little deep there!

Anyway, the first book that you should read is Losing My Virginity by Richard Branson. It’s basically his life story and it’s a very interesting life indeed.

The thing I enjoy about the book is that it’s not one of those books that says “Retire young and retire rich” or “How to become a millionaire”

I often think that with books like these they are telling you things that you might not be interested in, or things that don’t suit your personality type. Not everyone is going to want to learn how to make money in the property market, or learn how to trade shares…traditional things these books tell you to do.

But I’m a firm believer in doing what you really want to do, and Richard Branson gives you the inspiration to do this. His is not a book telling you to do anything specific, or in any industry, rather it is about giving you the motivation to do what you really want to do.

The book offers no definitive answers, but after reading it you are inspired to do the things you really want to do in life.

And I think the younger you are when read this book, the better off you are. Sometimes I come up with crazy ideas, and the older people I know say they won’t work. But that’s because they were brought up in the days when everyone followed their parents careers and when free crazy thinking was frowned upon.

It’s probably one of the best books I have ever read, and I regularly page through it when I’m looking for inspiration for something. It’s especially a good book for those not interested in following the status quo, and doing their own thing. Click HERE to buy it.

The second book by Richard Branson is Screw It, Let’s Do It, one that I always keep at hand. If you have read Losing My Virginity, this book will pretty much repeat what has been said there, but it’s fantastic to keep at hand, or keep on you when traveling.

It’s the ultimate book to keep handy when you are needing a bit of inspiration, whether it’s at work, or just wondering whether to open up your own business and go it alone.

Screw It, Let’s Do It is something that Richard Branson definitely taught me from this book. Who cares what other people think, if you believe in something, just do it. It’s quite liberating really, doing what you really want to do.

The perfect book to read on the road, or just to keep in the car or bag. Click HERE to buy it.

Those truly are two brilliant books that I highly recommend and I have personally read both of them ,and live my life in the same way. It’s the way to do things.

Who’s keen for beers? I know I am!

Enjoy them!

Sean Lloyd


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0 Comments Kumkani Cradle Hill Cabernet Sauvignon 2005

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 11 Sep 2008 , in the Product reviews category

I do have a little bit of a taste for the finer things in life i.e alcohol.

Due to my connections in the alcohol, mainly wine industry, I’m often given various things to put inside my body. Free of charge. It’s an occupational hazard/ benefit.

And I can tell you right now that I have just put the most delicious bottle of wine inside my body. INSIDE! Can you believe it, all that money is in me right now.

And by George, it feels good!

I know absolutely nothing about wine and all the tastings but I can tell you that this is quite possibly the finest wine I have tasted in my life.

Normally a bottle down of the cheap stuff, and it starts to get bitter and I don’t feel so well. However at the end of this bottle I was still swirling it around in my mouth and it kept getting smoother. I can confidently say that I wanted to cry drinking this, such is its absolute beauty.

I’m not joking when I say it gave me a feeling unlike anything else I have felt before. I cannot even describe this wine to you, it’s amazing. Phenomenal. Stunning.

You will see that I am quite important by the bottle I have. It’s the Cape Winemakers Guild bottle, and is a sample bottle, not for resale.

Kumkani Cradle Hill Pictures, Images and Photos

That’s how I do things, only the best and most exclusive.

What I want you to do though is go to a quality bottle store right now and buy this! Ask for it.

Kumkani Cradle Hill Cabernet Sauvignon 2005, phenomenal.

It’s the finer things in life such as this beautiful wine that make life so much more enjoyable. I cannot for a second begin to think of how boring life would be without all this alcohol.

I like to live this Ronnie Wood lifestyle in the evenings.

I will probably trash a hotel room soon.

Motley Crue, YEAH!

You won’t regret paying decent cash for this bottle, if anything, you will be praising me for letting you know about this wine. It’s a pleasure.

Sean Lloyd


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0 Comments Lipsano lipcare because chicks dig it

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the , in the Fashion & Grooming category

I’ve always had quite the temperamental skin and if you look in my vanity cupboard you will notice that I carry an assortment of moisturisers for this delicate hide of mine (Mostly organic moisturisers, I can’t be stuffing around with this body as it’s the money maker)

Then the other day my lip ice ran out and I was pretty sure I was going to be pulling some random that night, and my lips needed to be in good nic. They were pretty trashed and so I strolled into The Wellness Warehouse to get some balm for my smackers. I knew with this fabulous weather coming up that I would need something hardcore because the sun is rough out on Clifton 4th and Llandudno.

I settled on this stuff called Lipsano and LET ME TELL YOU DOLL!

It’s amazing stuff, plus it has an SPF of 35 so you won’t be burning your lips (Facial. Ladies…mind out the gutter…tisk tisk. You’re not Elsa Benitez, are you?)

Lipsano Pictures, Images and Photos

It is made of lanolin (Like…like sheep’s wool?) beeswax, shea butter, cocoa butter and vitamin E. Plus it has menthol and camphor in the mix which gives a nice cooling effect on your sun stroked lips. I use the old school tub, and am not afraid to look like a chick applying it. It’s kind of taking it back to the old school, especially when I apply it in the company of the ladies. They all end up using it anyway. They don’t worry that I have put my fingers in it.

They don’t know where my fingers have been.

They don’t know what me and the cats and dogs get up to in the evenings. And mornings.

Jokes. Seriously though, it’s R18 for the 7 gram jar which is very cheap. I mean, how much do you pay for your 7 grams of coke?

And crack cocaine gives you chapped, cocaine covered lips which is not a good look. Ask Rick James:

cocaine is a hell of a drug Pictures, Images and Photos

Yes it is

So go out and get it. To prove to you that it’s good all the girls I have kissed in the last three days have said I have the softest lips they have ever kissed.

That’s a lie I’m hitting a bit of bad form lately and have kissed no one. But when I do (Don’t wait up) I will report back on what the minxes have to say.

Check my lips out, so smooth!

Photobucket Image Hosting

My parents will also be pleased to know that…yes MOM AND DAD…open the champagne…that is a bit of stubble! It’s not much but it’s something! I knew this day would come. I knew I would make you proud! It took 23 years but by George it was worth the wait!

My voice has also gone from a high pitched shrill to a deeper purr. Think Barry White after a cigarette and whisky binge. Oh yeah!

They might be less interested to know that I just get first hair on ball.

Sean Lloyd


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9 Comments Wanking for work

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 09 Sep 2008 , in the Product reviews category

You will by now surely have noticed a certain them on this website, a mixture of utter rubbish and also more thoughtful posts, ones that might make you think, or might make you laugh. Or ones that might educate you (Few and far between) You will also realise that I get paid to mention certain companies, and others I mention because I just really like them.

So I’m going to put this out there right now, I’m not getting paid for this piece. If money was offered, sure I would normally take it, but in this instance I’m not sure if I would have taken the money if it was offered.

Because I would basically be paying myself for a hand job then. Imagine paying yourself to give yourself a handski! What would my parents think of me?

The product in question here is the Tenga Masturbator (Jesus…I can’t believe I agreed to this) After writing on Mantality a little while back, I was offered to review this product by the team at Mantality. Naturally I wouldn’t have to pay for the product, it would be sent free of charge (I don’t quite know how to put this…but in Cape Town…I’m kind of a big deal. People know me…)

So I agreed and about a week later, I had a jacking off machine in my PO Box, waiting to be abused. It’s actually called a Deep Throat Cup, and if you think Deep Throat refers to William Mark Felt Sr, then you are an idiot. A complete idiot. Go play with your Pokemon collection.

It’s basically like getting great head without all the hassles, but then it also comes without all the real life benefits, like an actual person. With the Tenga Deep Throat Cup, there are no teeth, so you don’t have any of the hassles of a “biter” Because that hurts. Also, it’s not warm like a mouth, so it might take a few tugs to get it warm. Also, sometimes at house parties, it’s nice to sit back,get a mouthski and use your one hand to eat a bag of chips and the other to drink your vodka and Coke. Unfortunately, when you are using the Tenga to basically give yourself a mouthski/ handski, you only have one hand. So you can’t relax and eat chips and a Coke, you have to do one or the other.

I mean, you could admit to sitting on your hand until it goes numb, and then having a wank so it feels like someone else is doing it. What? Forget I said that. Nothing important. Never tried it.

The great thing about the Tenga is that you don’t have some bird (Or guy, we need to appeal to a wide audience here) coming up afterwards and, with a mouth full, saying “Baby tell me you love me?”

Because as good as it feels at the time, using the L word is extremely difficult to use! Especially at my age. I just want to booze it up with my mates and have a kick ass time, no time for settling down (I’m sure I will receive some hate mail here, go ahead, send it along)

But to make this review as real as possible, I decided that some seduction techniques needed to be used. As there was no actual woman involved, I decided that seducing myself was in order.

I closed the curtains.

Barry White crooned over the stereo.

I looked at myself.

Touched myself.

You like that Sean?

I DO like that Sean!

I threw a couple of pick up lines at myself:

“You come here often?”


“Don’t tease me!”

“Do you wanna go halvies on a baby?”

Wait, that’s the one I used on that chick last week at Tiger. It doesn’t quite work on myself.

I was quite nervous around myself, as I’m quite a sexual being. I literally touch myself and sparks fly.

So I decided that I needed to be boozed, because let’s be honest, it’s much easier to chat yourself/ someone else up after a few boozers.

Because Mantality had paid for the product, I thought I had to at least chip in some money to this review so I ambled over to my wine fridge and yanked (Not wanked) out a bottle of Chateau Beychevelle Saint Julien Grand Vin 1995. I can’t remember what I paid for it all those years back, but it’s quite a decent wine and I was saving it for a special occasion. Whether giving yourself a handski is a special occasion or not is yet to be debated (Never maths debated) I also drank a bottle of High Constantia Clos Andre, Cuvee Brut, Methode Cap Classique and I am positively shit faced as I write this.


Absolutely trashed

Chateau Beychevelle

You like that?

The Tenga has this silicon inside that is SO soft it’s unbelievable. Obviously just putting your cock into a dry piece of silicon would be like shagging Paris Hilton, all dried up from overuse and stuff like that.

So you need lube, which I happened to have lying around. I’m going with the story that it was for a STD 6 (Standard…not sexually transmitted disease) science project.

And it’s quite easy really, you don’t have to be nice to the Tenga for it to go down on you. You don’t have to complement it on it’s lovely hair, or it’s beautiful eyes. You quite simple slam your piece into it without even letting it know.


(Say this to the effect of Horation Cane in CSI)— I think…I’m getting…a boner…YEAH!

I have never done this in real life, that chick at that standard 7 after party asked me to surprise her, and I did. Don’t cry over a sneaky pole in the mouth.

Good grief that’s good! It’s weird because I happened to test it out on a rugby test match day and I declined all the invites to watch the rugby at the pub. It was kind of strange because the one moment you have this picture of Gisele in your mind and it’s all cool, and the next moment you are having a great time by yourself and you are watching Percival Montgomery and thinking “I wonder if he uses EAS or USN? Canterbury or Nike?”

Ooooooooooooooh oooooooohhhhhhhh tik tik tik aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!


And then you blow your load at Percy, it’s quite weird really. To give you the exact thoughts in my head at the time, I was wondering what shampoo and conditioner he uses. I know…quite odd.

I’m obviously making this up as I’m quite drunk right now thanks to that bottle of High Constantia sparkling wine and three USN Spikes and one Red Bull. A couple of Phedra Cuts and I would be flying.

Shit, it feels good though. It’s so soft, and if you wank it fast enough it sounds like it’s choking on your main chap! Jesus, it’s hilarous! It can’t open up wider though so the chances of tea bagging it are pretty much zero. Also, in real life, it’s fun to blow your load in and around the mouth (The money shot) but I wouldn’t quite blow my load into this thing, for re-use purposes. It is re-usable though and I won’t admit to re-using it 17 times today. My piece looks like a piece of biltong, BUT…I’m doing this for work. Imagine spending en ENTIRE Monday wanking.

I suppose I don’t have the worst job in the world…

Another RAD feature is that it has a one way valve (Not vulva) that creates suction, just like real life! It’s amazing looking at this white piece of plastic, and to think that the job it does, is the exact same job all the Bishopscourt mommies do to drive nice cars and live in nice houses. It’s quite mind blowing, that blowing will get you all those lifestyle accessories.

Naturally I went the whole nine yards for this review, including dressing myself in the whipped cream bikini and smearing my balls with peanut butter and getting the dogs to lick it off. WHAT? It’s MY dog ok! I can tease you a bit though with the peanut butter nipple:


Yum Yum

To be quite honest, it is kind of weird telling people that you own a masturbator, but it’s also like telling people that you have a GHD, or that you spend 30 minutes on your hair in the morning. It’s something that makes you happy, but you wouldn’t quite admit it.

I wouldn’t normally go down into the pub and talk about my wanking device, but I did. Cape Town is going to know now anyway, so I casually told a couple of mates down at Forries the other day. I can get away with it because it’s my job.

The problem with my lifestyle is that everyone knows what I do all the time, so I’m sure they will laugh. But then they will in all likelihood click HERE and buy a Tenga Deep Throat Cup.

I’m not going to lie to you, it’s a shit load of fun! Play some Barry White, get drunk, seduce yourself…and then try jizz 5 metres onto your dog lying on the floor.

I lie, I wouldn’t do that.

It’s weird that the dog is pregnant though.


Anyway, looking over the Tenga Deep Throat Cup, it’s quite a cool thing for those lazy days when you can’t get some, and is definitely something that is quite a laugh to have. You know you won’t admit to owning one, but you will admit to wanking over Elsa Benitez (Ummm…NSFW). So whether you use your own hand, or the Tenga, I don’t think it makes much difference.

And to be honest, if you are single, people know you are a wanker anyway! So just come to terms with it, and with online ordering from Mantality, you don’t have to walk into a shop blushing and pick it up. Mantality deliver straight to your door! Brilliant!

It’s no longer embarrassing, like it was buying those condoms in school from the petrol station at Bishops.

Hey? Oh nothing…just mumbling to myself.

You can even order lube at Mantality over HERE. Unfortunately they don’t sell condoms yet, but I’m sure I can have a word with them and see what’s possible. For the product I tested, click HERE.

NOTE: The reviewing time of this product was 47.3 seconds.


A new record!

I’m just going to have a quick smoke and I’ll be back…

UPDATE: Apparently, if you click here, I killed 17 kittens on Monday.

Sean Lloyd


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0 Comments Get your iPod fixed in Cape Town

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 15 Jul 2008 , in the Product reviews category

What’s an iPod?

If you are asking that question, then I know which school you might be from in Cape Town. It’s that music player thing your parents bought for you.

I have quite an old iPod (30GB photo- old school) and it was playing up the other day. I couldn’t listen to my Belinda Carlisle collection. Tracy Chapman was not working either. I was distraught without my Cyndi Lauper. In fact nothing was working. Tom Jones, Lionel Ritchie…NOTHING!

So I busted into the iStore ready to kick ass and chew gum. And I was all out of gum.

I went to the guy at the back of the store at the repair section thing, he gave me a feral look from behind the counter, a little pale looking, a little scared as well as though he had been looking at porn.

“iPod. Not work” I said, like a proper delinquent.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It won’t turn on, and when it does, it just skips through all the songs without playing them”

“It could be that the hard drive is damaged, and then usually you have to get a new iPod. But…it could also be something less serious. Give these guys a call…” He said as he handed me a card for iFix iPod repairs.

I took the card and read it. It said I could drop my iPod at Mabu Vinyl (Awesome place for vinyl records- Pay them a visit) in Cape Town.

I drove straight through, demanding answers, demanding money, demanding drugs and demanding women!

I spoke to this chilled guy there who let me know that I would have to fill out a form of sorts, and they would get back to me if the repair was over R500. Anything under that and they would automatically repair it.

“Sounds like a plan, Japan” I said to the guy at the desk.

I left my iPod there last week, and got an sms today saying the bad boy was ready.

I drove around like a loony looking for parking in town as it was its usual mess. Eventually I found a spot, and ANOTHER car guard approached me.

“Hi sir”

“Don’t worry about the VR3 my lad, it spits flames at anyone who comes close to it”

“Ok sir”

Cool, now I won’t have to pay him, the 40th car guard that has approached me today.

Rolling in in a blaze of glory, I slammed my slip down, my iPod was fetched and it was going to cost me R350.


My invoice: Sorry ladies, had to blur my phone number out. E-mail me…

“Sick” I said to myself, LOUD.

All that was needed was a battery replacement, and now it’s working like a dream!

And so now I find myself back at home listening to “Not alone anymore” by The Travelling Wilburys. You know, with Roy Orbsion.

Funny enough, I am still alone. Not lonely of course. NO! Me? I don’t get lonely!

A little bit of trivia here. Roy Orbisons first wife was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident in 1966. Then while Roy boy was touring England in 1968, the family home burnt down on September 14, and two of his three sons died in the fire.

And I’m writing this almost exactly 40 years after that happened. And yesterday was the 14th.

Strange…very strange indeed.

I must finish this off, the tears are about to short circuit my laptop.

So as I said, my iPod was fixed perfectly and once again I can listen to romantic love songs, all by myself, whoop whoop! Could life be any better?

Don’t answer that for me.

So if you are in Cape Town, and your iPod is working about as hard as Thabo Mbeki, then get hold of iFix iPod repairs.

Best of all, they have a little website, over HERE.

No don’t stress, that’s what I’m here for.

Sean Lloyd


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2 Comments American Crew Fiber: The review

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 09 Jul 2008 , in the Fashion & Grooming category

I was at lunch at Greens in Constantia with a pack of angels the other day and not at any one time did it strike me that they actually thought I was gay. I didn’t suspect that, as the only male in the pack of 6, that they thought I was their gay best friend. I honestly thought I was going to sleep with all of them at some point before August.

I honestly believed that.

So these chicks are talking hair(On their head) and what not, and being quite into hair products, I started getting in one the conversation. So I’m going on about GHD’s and split ends and masks and the like when Michelle says to me:

“Are all gay guys this into their hair?”

Well I NEVER!! I nearly choked on my caesar salad right there. So not only did they now think I was gay, even when I explained that I wasn’t they saw me as “just a friend” After all I had at one point or another seen them all naked.

And stupidly, I never thought they let me see them naked because they thought I was gay. Je-zuz. I thought they walked around naked when I was around because it was kind of like window shopping. If I liked what I saw, I could make a purchase.

That lunch turned into the worst lunch of my life. Five of the hottest girls I know are now “just friends”

I actually made all that up, but I had a sneaky morning bender today and there are all weird ideas in my head. Onto the review:

One of the things I never stuff around with are the drugs I put in and around my mouth and brain.

Oh no…that’s for another post. Wait…that’s for my Narcotics Anonymous meeting later today.

Haircare…haircare…ok got it.

So I was out and about the other day and someone remarked on my hair and how awesome it was looking. Because it was. They insulted me by asking what gel I wear.

“Gel? GEL? Does it look like I use that shit? Who do you think I am, some B-grade movie star or boy band member?”

You see, all that stuff you buy from the corner shop contains alcohol and dries out the hair(As Sean recites his hairdressers words and that of many GQ articles)

When another friend remarked that he was using something that cost R30, I nearly keeled over and died.

My hair refuses anything other than salon bought products. Look it’s not cheap, but neither is cocaine and you seem to be able to still afford that.

So basically I have very fussy hair, and it has told me that if I use an inferior product, it will fall out. If I use gel, my hair will fall out. So I need to use something better and more expensive.

My choice? American Crew Fiber. Honestly guys, this is the one product you should be using. It’s not really promoted in Cape Town because it’s not available at stores but it is available to order online from


American Crew Fiber: Put it inside you

For a 100 gram tub of American Crew Fiber it is going to cost you R260 (Somehow it went up by R35 since my last order), but look at yourself caveman. Look at that rubbish you are using. Do you want people to think that you look less than your best? No. Exactly.

The good thing is that you only need to use small amounts and this tub will last a long time. Even if it did only last a month it would only cost you about R7 a day. You won’t spend R7 a day but you will spend R13 for a cup of coffee? Are you sure that’s Canderel in your coffee and not cocaine? Seriously, R7 a day is nothing compared to the amount of action you will get.

Men with cool hairstyles come right more often. True story. David Beckham. Ok he is wealthy and famous but if his hair looked like a wankfest, he might be dating Wayne Rooney right now.

American Crew Fiber is the original and Redken have realised this because they have released Outplay texture putty which is essentially trying to compete for the American Crew market. It should do quite well in Cape Town because Redken is available at salons whereas American Crew is not. But I still recommend the original American Crew Fiber.


Outplay might lead to foreplay

The key to using American Crew Fiber is to towel dry your hair, and then apply a small amount throughout the hair. To do this, take a small amount and rub it between your palms(In the tub it is quite hard), then just apply it all over. This gives the hair a bit of shape, texture and control.

Then after that, apply Fiber to random sections of hair to give it a textured look. What I do is twist my hair into random sections to give it a spiky, ‘chicks fall all over me’ look.

Mmmmmm you like that Candice don’t you? Well apparently so…

American Crew Fiber won’t go hard in your hair and stays pliable all day. It is not greasy at all but rather gives a matte finish and a high hold. It’s what you have been looking for. Serious.

It’s good for any hair type and is pretty damn strong, and if I say that you know it’s true because everyone remarks that I spend the most time of anyone on my hair, and reading up on new hair stuff. Not afraid to admit it then…

Instead of using inferior ingredients though, American Crew Fiber contains lanolin and beeswax so your hair is not going to end up drier than the Sahara desert at lunchtime.

Look if your hair product contains alcohol then you are a fool. I have had my haircut at Evolv, Partners, Edge, Carlton and none of them use inferior products and you should listen to them. American Crew Fiber is the one hair product that I fully recommend and you will want to eat it. If it’s in your hair, you are going to come right.

Think about it:

Non greasy

High hold

Texture, seperation and crazy styles

Healthy for your hair

SLXS approved

To purchase it online (The only way to get it in Cape Town), click below for safe, secure and discreet delivery through

So that’s that right there. Oh yeah…I also decided to get a few other things to add to the collection, bringing it to this:



I know. Don’t ask.

Oh…there is one more thing:


Chicks dig it

I didn’t spend over a grand though for me. It’s for the girls. Apparently they use it to straighten their hair. A little unconventional as I have always just known shaving and waxing.

But hey…I will give it a go, it must be the trend these days and I will give anything a try at least once.

Shoo that was a sexual article.

Touch it…

Sean Lloyd


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Nintendo Wii: Small things for small minds!

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 20 May 2008 , in the Product reviews category

It turns out I’m borrowing a Nintendo Wii for a few days because I just have to. There is something I need to write for an online magazine, which has not been launched yet, and so that’s where the Wii comes in. I will tell you about that when it is released.

Anyway last night reminded me classically of my school days. I…like many guys at school…just had to draw a massive kok on every single black board in the school! I don’t know why but it was just something we did. Like an inner desire to showcase ourselves…or something like that.

My Geography teacher, Gary, would see myself and my buddies laughing ourselves mental, crack a little grin and then say:

“Ahhhh small things for small minds!”

Basically it has always been the little things in life that amuse me. Drawing koks on school boards. Throwing water bombs at people at school.

Wheel spinning when you are driving your parents car. Driving onto fields and doing donuts on the lawn! Trying to hit the guys who pick up balls at the driving range. Trying to get a photo of Neville at the Cavendish movies. Drinking a case of beer and then trying to come right.

Anyway last night I found myself going on a bit of a fishing excursion, from my bedroom. I was messing about on the Nintendo Wii when I came across the fishing game, which is probably one of the simplest and most mindless games on the planet. Honestly, fishing on the TV screen?

I started playing and about two hours later I had to force myself to stop because the situation I was in was absurd! I was getting hectically excited as I was catching some big fish and racking up some top scores. The funny thing is, I was having the time of my life(Don’t tell anyone) It’s a basic game and you use the controller as your fishing rod, and all you need to do is wait for the fish to bite, and then pull it out. That’s it really and it’s not hard at all.

You get various points for the fish you catch, and you get PUNISHED for catching fish that are too small. It’s kind of like that time I scored that 16 year old in Tin Roof…um…wait…I should keep that on the down low.

You also get major points for catching the big fish. When I caught the big beast neighbours could hear me screaming, and then shouting “GOT ME A MARLIN!” At 1am, nice.

Old lady Bernice who lives next door to me said to me this morning that she heard the screams last night and then she asked how Kate was.

“Sorry old Lady Bernice?”

“Sean I heard the screams last night, was Kate not over again?”

“Oh no don’t be silly! She has not been round in about three days old lady Bernice”

“Oh because she always makes those noises when you are thumping her”

“Yes old lady Bernice, I know, I am a love master, but she is away for work for a few days”

“Oh that’s nice but you do take care Sean and treat her well she is a swell gal”

“Thanks old lady Bernice, and don’t you go dying on me!”

Old lady Bernice is the sweetest old lady, and what she was referring to was the fact that I have lately been bringing this model home, and we go on all night, and because I am quite a Don Juan, she can’t help but screaming and waking the neighbours. So that’s the story there.



This is what we’re dealing with

small fry

Small fry: That’s what she said


Got me a marlin!

But when you get to my age and find yourself playing this until 1am, you begin to worry about the state of your mental health…I bet there were people last night at that time partying, pulling angels and having a great time. And there I was catching fake fish in my room. I had an awesome time though, and I will probably do some more fishing today.

Right after I finsih this game of Wii tennis.

The Nintendo Wii is awesome though and I’d highly recommend it as a time waster of choice, obviously in second place to this website.

Catching fish on Nintendo Wii at 1am on a Tuesday morning…I am too cool…I mean…what’s not to like?

Sean Lloyd


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