You know what I hate?

The fact that I have a Parker pen with real gold trimmings valued at over R1000 lying on my desk, but I’m too scared to take it off my desk because it WILL get lost. Hence, I never have anything to write with when I’m on the road. It is a fact that companies hunt me down during the day wanting me to do this and do that and make them more awesome…and I never get back to them because I don’t know how to operate my phone properly and I never have a pen.

But for every idiot in the world (Me), there is an inventor (True Utility) and they have come up with a really cool pen that will always be with you (Remember, we looked at their bottle opener HERE)

Check it:

Take Note – A full length pen that is as small as your door key? Now that’s something to write home about!
Engineered in stainless steel, this beautifully crafted personal pen extends telescopically to 115mm, yet only measures around 50mm as it hangs inconspicuously on your key ring. Never get caught out without a pen again! Supplied complete with three free refills. How did you ever live without one?

Features:

Stainless Steel
Ergonomic Ball Point Pen
Telescopic – Opens to Full Length
3 Refills Included (black ink)
Key ring attachment

Size:-

50mm X 5mm (Closed)
115mm X 5mm (Open)

At only R95, this is awesome!

Click here to buy it safely and securely on my favorite online shop…Mantality.co.za

I guess I was a little reluctant to use this because I know a lot of you who read this website are continually hungover and are likely to injure yourself. But I’m a bit of a fan of old school traditions, and nothing screams old school more than shaving with a straight razor. It lets people know that you’re a REAL MAN! Not a girlie little bitch that has safety guards on his razor.

I’m also reluctant to mention this because a lot of you are maybe not in stable relationships. And not that I think about this too deeply, well actually sometimes I do…

You see, if your girlfriend/wife/mistress kills you with a straight razor, there is a bloody (Ha ha) good chance that she can get off in the court of law by saying she was lovingly shaving your face and slipped and killed you. Whereas if the weapon was a knife, the court will know she was just out to kill you. So look if you’re dating a psycho then don’t take this advice. I warned you…

Enough about that though!

Shaving with a straight razor lets chicks know that you’re awesome and it makes them want you, which is what you want. So, I was scouting a little article on the Mantality blog (HERE), and because I am me, I just stole the article, straight up! That’s how we roll here, doing what we like really. Rebel.

So for those of you wanting a better shave and wanting to score more, use a straight razor. Oh and don’t try shave your sack with this, you will maybe possibly die from a vicious wound. So here we go, how to use a straight razor:

Before you begin

Rinse your face with hot water to soften your whiskers, open the pores, and ensure a closer shave. Lather the shaving area with shaving cream, preferably glycerine-based, using a circular motion with the bristles of the brush to lift the hairs and produce a rich, creamy lather. Experts suggest a badger-hair shaving brush works best, although badgers recommend a ferret-hair brush. Prepare the skin properly and the blade will glide across your face and give you a closer shave.

The Shave
Step 1. Open the razor by gently gripping the handle with your thumb and three fingers. With the open handle pointing away from the face, place your little finger in the crook of the blade for a secure grip. The angle of the blade is determined by the contours of your face, but experts suggest you start at a 30-degree angle.

Step 2. Which part of your face you shave first is your call, but it’s vital to hold the skin taut with your free hand-creating a flatter surface will help the blade glide more smoothly. As you shave, each stroke of the blade should follow the grain of your whiskers and run smoothly for 3 to 4 centimeters at a time.

Step 3. When you’ve shaved the whole beard, re-lather and start again. The smoothest shaves take two passes, but this time the strokes of the blade should run against the grain of the beard.

Step 4. After two shaves your face should be as smooth as the day you were born, but hopefully less bloody. Rinse with cold water and apply a moisturizing balm. In preparation for next time, rinse the razor thoroughly with hot water, wipe dry, and store out of the reach of children and demented barbers.

Bloody hell
For any minor nicks along the way, apply a moistened alum block to the cut. This magical soap-sized block possesses blood-vessel-constricting astringent properties to curb any minor blood loss. A styptic pencil does a similar job, and both are far more effective than plastering toilet paper all over your face.

Mantality.co.za have some pretty sweet straight razors I’m not going to lie! The Edwin Jagger range is sick, click the logo to check out those bad boys:

And don’t be a fool and use some cheap quality shaving gels and creams, because your face is not going to forgive you. Girls love a guy who is well groomed, they don’t love a guy whose face is red because he was too much of a plebb to use good shaving creams and after shave balms.

You see, I’m here for you. Guiding you along through this life, slowly but surely. Mentoring you.

You can just call me dad from now on.

It’s a pleasure my son.

With Mantality.co.za being the only online mens store that I use, I naturally tend to get sent a few things from time to time that I don’t pay for (Naughty) One of my recent mailings was a cool little key tool with a couple of uses. The Key Tool has two screwdrivers, a nail file, tweezers, wire cutters and a bottle opener amongst its arsenal.

It fits over your key snugly, so doesn’t add any bulk to your key set which is cool, because one of my hates is having a chain full of keys. So this has some tools without all the bulk.

The only problem I find is that you need to unclip the key tool to make use of the screw drivers, tweezers and the wire cutter. Then again, this is solely an emergency type of tool and not something you’re going to be using every day, so I’m fine with this and it’s actually not a problem. To be honest I didn’t test the wire cutter, and I did try the tweezers, which seem to work decently, but I didn’t try them on actually removing a splinter. Splintering myself for a product review isn’t quite my scene. The nail file doesn’t seem to too effective, I tried that and it didn’t really work on my nails that are admittedly, built of titanium. Because I’m a real man. But then again, you’re a dude, you don’t really need a nail file.

Being a man though, the only thing you’re really going to use morning, afternoon and night is the bottle opener. And this works 100%! It is quite small but when you need a beer, either you’re going to use your eye socket (Not ideal) or your teeth (Not ideal) And look, the True Utility Key Tool is only R95, so it’s good to use just as a bottle opener! And you will never lose it unless you lose your keys in which case you’re screwed anyway.

Castle Lite. What? Are they sponsoring me or something?

Another bonus is that you don’t need to take the key tool off your key to use the bottle opener, so for it’s main use, the True Utility Key Tool scores an A+.

So it does come approved by me, basically just as a bottle opener, as I think that is the sole use of this tool, and for R95, you can’t go wrong at having a bottle opener always on you.

Click here to buy it safely and securely on my favourite online men’s shop, Mantality.co.za