Look, when it comes to Cape Town, it’s a cool place, sure. But when it comes to actually owning property here, it feels like someone has punched you in the stomach, then as you have dropped, they have kneed you in the head. And this is an ongoing cycle! You feel this pain every day. Apartments are going for a cool R1.4 million, and houses are a bit of a joke, unless a student digs is your style.

So my future plan is to just stay in Mozambique one day! Seriously, why would I want to bother working so hard to afford a R10 million house here, when I can just nick a house for R1.4 million in Mozambique? Then I’ll leave Cape Town and all the hipsters, and go chill out there.

And myself and the crew will just go chill there, we’ll ride bokes and walk around and take photos and braai and go mess around in the ocean and lie in the sun and brew beer and not worry about all the fake people telling us that we’re shit at life because we don’t have an iPad, and we don’t have an iPhone, and we haven’t eaten at this restaurant and we don’t know this guy who is so successful and owns this company.

We’ll have none of that, thanks!

Check this out, for R1.45 million in Mozambique you can get a 2 bedroom house in the Kabali Beach Lodge, and there are 41 two, three and four bedroom villas available, with this being what you have to deal with:

How awesome?! Obviously those are digital impressions of what it will look like, and that’s not quite the house you will get for R1.45 million, but that’s the feel. And I tell you what, it feels good!

Here are some further details:

Kubali Beach Lodge, situated near Chidenguele in Southern Mozambique, consists of a series of free standing buildings. It has 41 two-, three- and four-bedroom villas to choose from. The central building will contain a clubhouse, lounge, library, restaurant and bar. The architecture blends Balinese and contemporary designs giving you an ‘island style’ experience, while at the same providing the luxury of modern living. Disclaimer : (In accordance with Mozambique Law, transfer of ownership by way of a transferable 50-year renewable concession of use, can only occur once a residence has been completed)

Features

Reception Rooms: 1
Bedrooms: 2
Bathrooms: 2
Parking:
Garage(s): 1

Additional Details

Property Size: 2000 m2
Building Area Size: 170 m²

Click here if you’re interested in further details.

Then we cast our eyes back to Cape Town, and search for a home in Claremont between R800000 and R1.5 million, and we get…

*Drum roll*

An ‘Adorable cottage in Harfield Village’ I won’t even post a photo or a link. Just to let you know, that you go from beach villa, to a cottage. Rad.

What on earth are we actually doing in Cape Town?!

I love it here, but Mozambique…it’s cheaper and you have to spend less, because no one is trying to compete against you. No one is hosting a bigger party with more celebrities, no one is comparing houses, gadgets and cars.

Am I just crazy or does Mozambique look awesome?