Old school beggars

New school beggars

A while back I felt kind of bad at times, because I was telling people that all these blind beggars were a load of bull, because some people were going on like a bunch of haggard fish wives saying  “Aaaaah how can you be so mean” The reason I was being mean is because suddenly, every bergie was blind. Meanwhile I could see their beady eyes checking out my Red Bull and my car radio. Not to mention my cut physique, revered the world over.

Anyway, I wouldn’t make a complete joke of people because of a disability, it just irritates me that people fake disabilities.

Now I don’t want to be mean, but there is a guy at the traffic lights at Woolworths on Belvedere Road that scares the living daylights out of me! I was chilling at that robot the other day sipping on something awesome like a Cherry Coke or a RAD creme soda, and the next thing I knew there was this figure next to me. I turned to this figure of sorts and can honestly say that I nearly soiled myself! WOWZER!

This oke has the craziest eyes, like, crazy crazy eyes!

Hey crazy eyes!

Now I actually don’t think he’s faking it because he’s all sorts of weird. But the fact remains, there is another guy who hangs out at the Belevedere area, normally at the petrol station and he is FINE. He’s just a raging alcoholic who keeps telling me that I have a good heart and that I will give him money.

I must be seriously blind at the moment because I can’t see the ‘Mother Theresa’ printed in ink on my forehead. I mean, maybe it is written there? In that case, I’m sorry.

But he is perfectly fine other than the fact that he’s a raging alcoholic, and I saw him walking like a gimp the other day trying to beg for money. My first thought was to kick him in his nuts, but the last thing I need right now is for all the prim and proper set to report me to the Peoples Post, or God forbid, The Tatler, the places where people write ’strongly worded letters’

‘I cannot believe that my neighbours daughter wears such short skirts, she is sullying the reputation of the greater Pinelands area’

The Tatler is basically a cool space for you to complain if you have zero to no life. Sort of like a pensioners weekly.

Anyway, I just wanted to ask if disabled/Rain Man type beggars have overtaken the blind ones in numbers now? It seems that all the old blind beggars are now walking around with limps, arms stretched out like Hansen, and one eye looking toward your car tyres, and the other one pointing to the skies.

Interesting times in the ‘burbs, interesting times indeed.