0 Comments The Tug Boat

Article written by the majestic Sean Lloyd on the 28 May 2010

Seeing as though no one took Robben Islebiza (HERE) seriously, I’m onto something new!

I’ve always wanted to be involved in an industry that just works whether there is a recession or not, and for me this has always been  the sex, drugs and alcohol industries. Seeing as though I’ve never met a bottle store owner who lives the dream, the booze thing is out.

I have seen drug dealers living the dream, but then, they’re still drug dealers. It’s kind of like pimping your Citi Golf…it’s still a Citi Golf. You’re still a drug dealer.

Sex on the other hand (The right one…) seems to be a decent industry. I mean, it’s not like everyone’s not doing it already. Not everyone is doing drugs though. So it shouldn’t be frowned upon. But it is. I can’t tell the taxman that of my R10 million profit last year, I’m not going to pay tax because you can’t pay tax on selling something that doesn’t really exist. Sex doesn’t really exist in that we’re not selling something concrete, like a product. We’re merely connecting two or more people…so we’re more like a cellphone company. Like Nokia!

And they make an absolute killing, and it’s legal. So my idea is not to run a brothel, it’s more of a people connecting service. Where money changes hands!

But to make it even more legal, surely selling connections (Sex) is only really illegal on land? So the plan is to have it at sea…in international waters baby!

We’re basically going to kit a boat out in pure luxury, and run a brother (People connecting service) on board. And we’ll have this boat anchored out at sea, with smaller boats chartering clients in. Being at sea, or in international waters will help us get by this thing of it being illegal to sell sex. We’ll totally make our millions!

And we’ll call the boat “The Tug Boat” It’ll look something like this:


You see, it fits in with our whole service offering, that being a rub and tug. Rub = massage. Tug = well, you know…

Now I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes.

Yes I was a teenage prodigy, and yes my ideas are genius!

I mean seriously, how awesome is The Tug Boat?

Ja, you wont be laughing when I’m a BAJILLIONAIRE!

(Shot Jerry for the name ‘The Tug Boat’!)

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