There are many reasons to go venture into the urban paradise of Constantia. The main reason though is because the amount of hot Constantia mommies are ridiculous. You can basically close your eyes, point anywhere and there will be a MILF. I know this because I tried it and I landed on the fittest, tightest body I have ever seen in my life.

Definitely keeping it in shape for the hubby.

But while the Constantia Pick ‘n Pay is a glorious field of cuisine, it’s the sushi bar that is the attraction.

They have authentic chefs at the sushi bar, and not Ronel from Bellville, so you know it’s good!  There is an actual bar where you can sit at and eat, or you can just have a take out like I did. I ordered the take out and headed back to Casa del Lloyd to listen to some Roger Goode and eat some sushi.

Only then would I touch myself…

And let me tell you…it was good. The sushi.

I got 14 pieces, and it was the “Rainbow roll selection” I thought it appropriate because I saw a rainbow today. The pieces were divided up as such:

6 vegetarian

4 tuna and avocado

4 salmon, crab and avocado

All inside you

In and around your mouth

I also creamed myself with this:

Yeah, I basically bought half a litre of mayonnaise, and that is the packet it came in. I put that mayo in and around my mouth. And my pants. I’m not sure it was such a good idea ingesting it though because the ingredients list is in foreign. And we all know how dangerous that Chinese sounding stuff can be. Remember? Not? You obviously aren’t well read then. You might recall stories of dodgy ingredients being put into their foods. But I ate an hour ago and I still seem fine so I’m fairly confident that I will live few more days.

I do however think that I ate some pieces of a baby, because on the mayo packaging, there was a picture of a baby, and “500g” next to it. So I paid for half a kilogram of a baby. Awesome. The FBI will be over any second now.

Babies: Tastier than you might think

Did I mention that for that sushi, it was R52? I think that’s fairly damn good! I will definitely eat that again.

Where? Pick ‘n Pay Constantia sushi bar

What? Sushi

When? All year round.

Extras? Hot, rich, tappable Constantia mommies

Sean Lloyd

Editor