THE Don

If you’re ugly or poor or stupid then this is not a problem.

If you’re all three of these at the same time, well then you’re screwed.

You see I’ve been playing with some figures in my head, and feeling some figures in my hands. I can’t quite decide whether I’m a bum or boobs guy. Everyone has their choice, I think at the moment ass is winning though. Besides the point.

The point is, I’m useless as maths but I’ve paired life down to three critical points.

• Intelligence
• Looks
• Money

Intelligence doesn’t just mean being able to study and do well at college or recite a book. Intelligence goes beyond that. You might have got an A for psychology, but if you’re the boring person who NEVER gets the jokes at the party, you’re probably stupid. Boring people are generally stupid. Stupid people are boring. But you see, there are people who are academically stupid who are actually funny and have common sense and knowledge. These people we refer to as intelligent. It’s the rules and we’re sticking by them, because we made them.

Poor people in general need to be intelligent in all spheres of life i.e general knowledge and personality, as well as academic intelligence. Because when life is not handed to you by your parents credit card, you need to garner some intelligence to make a success of life. Poor people cannot rely on looks alone to get them through life and so they work hard. It’s no coincidence that some of the worlds wealthiest people (Through proper intelligence) are also not the easiest on the eye. Donald Trump. Bill Gates. The YouTube guys can’t be too good looking.

But it’s fine because they have made loads of money which has replaced their looks, conveniently.

Good looking people can generally get by on little, posing for the cameras from time to time for money. Or they’ll marry someone else who is wealthy and good looking (Probably trust fund kids) and live off their money.

If you look at most people, they’re 33.33% off of being the perfect people.

Donald Trump: Wealthy. Intelligent. Not good looking. 33.33% of the equation missing.
Paris Hilton: Wealthy. Not intelligent. Good looking. 33.33% of the equation missing.

If you look at your friends, you’ll see a similar trend.

If they are wealthy, and trust fund kids, they’ll probably be pretty stupid. But decent looking.
If they are from a poor family, they will be more intelligent, and will probably work hard and make good money. Now there is a chance they will be good looking. The equation is somewhat flawed here, but the odd thing is that all the best looking people are somehow wealthy. Wealth and looks must be inherited through good genes and a quality family line! I don’t know why it works this way, but from nearly everyone I know, 33.33% of the equation is missing. All the most beautiful people I know, don’t seem to struggle with money at all in their families.

Trust fund kids don’t need to think much and are generally spaced out and aloof, unaware of the worlds problems. Global warming doesn’t concern them, they won’t know what’s happening in the local news, the word ‘blog’ is foreign to them and their online activity is summed up through Facebook. They’re not online much because it takes up too much of their limited brains.

You might be born ugly, dumb and poor, but then you always work on the two areas you can — intelligence, which leads to money.

It’s just, when I look around, everyone seems to be 33.33% short of the most awesome life! Rad.