Look, I URGE you to get down to the Argus Cycle Tour Expo, not because I care about road cycling, lactic threshholds, cadence, baseline training or any of that other rubbish, but because I care about girls. Once again, the promo girls at the expo are SMOKING hot. I actually might just pop in tomorrow again, you know, because I can. And as per usual, there are some absolute creatures crawling around, all the way from 70 miles into the boerie curtain, Parow, Bellville…and beyond! They’re the ones who don’t really know what is acceptable in society, because it’s hard to see through a haze of tik factories.

I love it when our cyclist boys take their sport over the edge, wearing their Oakley M-Frames and cycling shorts and everything to the expo. It’s not like they cycled there, they just dressed up to go there.

Let me just ask you, when last did you see Rossi crusing around wearing his leathers and a motorcycle helmet?

Have you seen Schumi shopping in Monte Carlo wearing his race suit?

Do you see waitresses wearing their bibs when they are meeting someone for a drink?

EXACTLY!

I used to do loads of mountain biking and I know how addictive the sport can become, but it never consumed me to the point where I wanted to show my moose knuckle in public, other than when I had to be in my cycling kit i.e when I was riding.

But I read a classic thing the other day and it went something along these lines…some people get so addicted to cycling that they start employing nutritionists and massage therapists and trainers to induce the levels of pain that the professionals endure. But the professionals only cycle…they don’t do anything else. To pay someone to hurt you and to invest hundreds of thousands into the sport is a bit mad.

Cyclists don’t come home and pay to do someone elses accounting, they don’t come home and then pay to be waitresses in the evening…they are paid to cycle. And yet we have normal jobs, and then pay to be cyclists, bizarre! We do this to get to that top level, but why?

Just get out there and ride, and enjoy nature, enjoy the beauty, simplicity and freedom of being outdoors and healthy. But don’t try to ride a pro time, those guys are paid to do that, and nothing else. But check this creature I saw today:

Wearing multi coloured Crocs…giving life a full rev!

YOU GO BOY! YOU ATTACK THOSE HILLS! YOU BUST A HOLE RIGHT THROUGH THAT LACTATE THRESHHOLD! YOU SMASH THAT PB! YOU WEAR THAT HEART RATE MONITOR!

YOU WIN LIFE!