Look I’m not a fashionista, or a trend spotter or anything like that but in general I’m also not a complete moron when it comes to life and what makes sense and what doesn’t.

(In a related thought, how hilarious is it that anyone on the internet with a technology website is a ‘web strategist’, ‘marketing geek’, ‘trend spotter’, ‘web junkie’, ‘PHP addict’ or whatever it is. CRISIS you okes are hilarious and a complete JOKE! I love it how things like ‘junkie’ and ‘addict’ are just loosely thrown around, as though these are as cool as a heroine addiction. Black tar heroine beats the internet 10-0.No one on the web is as cool as Tommy Lee, we shouldn’t throw these words around lightly)

Anyway that’s slightly off the topic which I’m known to do.

Your moms quite nice.

Again…off the…

Ok ok so we’re talking about the GQ Best Dressed Men Of The Year 2009 and I’m going straight out and saying it is the biggest waste of time in the world. Not only are the results abysmal, but it really doesn’t add any substance to the magazine.

Number one on the list is Jon-Paul Bolus from Loading Bay in Cape Town. Look this is nothing personal and I’ve met JP, he’s extremely passionate about his brand and what he does and his store sells kick ass clothing (We’ve mentioned it many times here on SLXS). I love the Blue Blood brand but I just have to ask myself “Is this really a true reflection of the best dressed men in South Africa? Have GQ really looked into the situation, more than just using people they always use in their magazine and who are in the right places?” . I know this is the best dressed men awards, but personally for me being best dressed is also about how you wear clothes, the attitude you roll with and how you can pull stuff off. Anyone with money can buy into trends and buy the latest style from a magazine but not everyone can pull off a look and a  lifestyle.

One thing I’ve noticed in Cape Town is that the black guys dress really well, without spending loads of cash. I often take note of guys getting out of taxi’s with their shoes shined, hats on and rocking jackets in all styles, tweed, black, rolling scarfs and looking really cool. And the reason they pull it off so well also has a lot to do with attitude and confidence. They’re taking taxi’s so I’d gather that they’re not extremely wealthy, but with the cash they have, they pull off a good look. Then you get people with loads of money looking absolutely atrocious. We really should do a picture documentary of people on the street who are well dressed, and don’t just choose them on their clothes, but the confidence and style and grace with which they wear their clothes.

GQ really should do a more on the ground issue as a supplement to their best dressed men awards. If you look at all the men in the best dressed awards, they’re all wealthy so obviously they’re not going to look like they just woke up in a trash can. And the style tips are also just ridiculous. Just look at this question posed to JP, and his reply:

South Africa’s Two Best Dressed Men

GQ: What’s a good look this summer?

JP: A great pair of distressed denims to mix with a basic V, a cardigan or a light leather jacket combined with a scarf and vintage shades. Next, you need to have a pair of raw selvedge denim jeans which you’ve been wearing every day through winter, and by now have amazing character and unique marks. Roll them up, slip on some loafers and a nice quirky shirt. Have a cardi and a light suede jacket as back up for the night out. Other key items: a beautiful cropped blazer, chinos, veldskoens and shorts.

Did you enjoy that? Did you enjoy that this is for SUMMER?! OH MY SHATTERED FACE IN A CUSTARD BOWL!

I’m sorry but I didn’t actually take any of that information in, it literally went into my eyes and got zapped by the “Ridiculous Zapper” in my brain which is on at all times.

I mean come now, veldskoen and shorts? To me, dress is as much about attitude as it is about money and clothing. Look at Johnny Depp:

Now it’s a fact that most men cannot pull those looks off. They’re not necessarily strictly the best looks, the clothes are torn, he’s wearing random stuff but he is just doing it with such an attitude that it’s awesome. Admit it, Johnny Depp is a cool dude (Oh and good looking…SHOCK!)

I don’t see any of that in GQ. So in that photo we have seen first and second place, now let’s look at 3rd and 4th place:

Absolutely thrilling.

Oh and by the way GQ, where’s my nomination?

According to your voting system, these photos should be able to do it (This is like rocket fuel to my stalkers):

I’m wearing a waist coat, have the salmon shirt and a tie, I think I’m ready to win this thing?

There is even this variation, with a different expression and a grey Polo shirt:

Seriously, now send me my trophy. I also want in on this!

I may be completely wrong on this, and these guys might dress phenomenally at all other times. But I just feel this GQ shoot was poor. Shoot the guys in a natural setting, shoot them on the street, at work, on Table Mountain, just not in a boring studio or something! Shoot them on the beach in a suit…do something different.

And I’m spent.