This is honestly one of the better things you will come across in your life, I’m absolutely shattered and exhausted after reading it! It’s an offer in Gumtree.

Enjoy the text:

“Hi all, am looking for a white/coloured girl to share a 4 bedroom home with me in Newlands. My parents are out of the country for the next 8 months so i have the place to myself along with the help who all live in the staff quarters.

Maid/cook, Gardener and a 24 hour security guard are part of the package. like i said no rent is required all i want is a few “favours” to keep me warm.

Am a clean cut 23 yr old, student studying at UCT and just looking for some fun.. who knows, something could grow out of this.

no fatties and you can reply to…

Attached is a pic of your en suite bedroom (when you not in mine)”

OH. MY. SHATTERED. CRACK. PIPE!

How funny is that? Right now I am on the floor! Good Lord!

Who is this guy? Does anyone know a 23 yr old student form UCT whose parents have recently left the country? We NEED to find this man! Someone must know this guy…he’s around our age. Come on people let’s uncover this!

I love it that he just goes straight out and says “no fatties” Ha ha lag!

A security guard is part of the package? If it’s a personal security guard then we’re looking at someone with a fair amount of money so that’s one of the pieces of the puzzle. We know it’s Newlands. His folks have left him with the house for 8 months so they’re pretty well off.

Simply click HERE to see the Gumtree listing of this advert.

Surely one of the funniest things to come out of the suburbs this year? Absolute hilarity!

Sean Lloyd

Editor