0 Comments Sex Your Car Up With Areon Gold

Article written by the majestic Sean Lloyd on the 19 Jul 2010

I don’t really get attached to things too much. I mean, I am attached to my jeans and my whie leather high tops and my white t shirts and my leather jacket, but if I lost them, I can just buy more. I only get attached to people because if friends are lost, you can’t get them back (Deep for a Monday) I am somewhat attached to my car though, because it just carries everything of mine. I keep clothes in it, there is music, it takes me places and makes me happy. Look, the 17″ white rally rims and the window tint will complete it when I get around to that, but until then, I’m still attached to it in a way.

So I like to keep it clean and I also like to have decent music in it, like Jack Parow for instance. Now it’s skelm that ek ry in a Peugeot 306 en luister na  Jack want hy rap so kief, but anyway. At least I don’t read One Small Seed (I don’t drop acid into my tea)

Now when you dine on rock ‘n roll excess, your car might smell of parties and dirt from when you’re railing it on the dirt tracks, so you need to sex it up a bit. I’ve long given up on regular car fresheners as I don’t like the thought of my car smelling like a Sea Point Jewish blue rinse hair, poodle walking old duck who wears Glade toilet spray as an eau de toilette. So I found something else…and it smells like teenage desire, only it won’t break out in spots and wear awkward clothing and start smoking.

It’s a well known fact that I cannot, and will not, wear some shitty fragrance. I also tend to go against the popular scents, and  I dabble in the unisex scents market. It let’s people know that, hell yeah, I’m a God damn rock star, I’ll wear leather and denim, but I’ll also fit right in at the One  & Only when the occasion calls for it.

So knowing that my car needs to smell as good as I do, I’ve recently ‘invested’ in the most amazing car fragrance of YOUR life. I say ‘your’ because you and me are the same person essentially. It was R60 at the Pick ‘n Pay in Plumstead, because I found my soul passing through there in search of the Scumstead dream of cocaine and hookers. Vegas baby! I’m joking I don’t have a drug problem, but you do, and you and me are essentially the same person. But we’ve spoken about this before, Doherty.

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So this casting couch of models gets into my car the other day and they’re all up on me, touching me, fondling me, don’t get teabagged. So I’m like ‘Whatsup whatsup?’ And they’re all like ‘You smell like a Greek God of athleticism’

‘Why thank you my darling but that’s actually my car’

Crisis, the next thing you know they’re dipsticking each other, tonguing my fuel tank, hitting my exhaust like a bong! It was crazy styles all up in the grille!

And the only reason this happened was because I decided that ‘I will not have my car smell like plastic and petrol today! I will rebel! I will have it smell like rock and roll excess! I’ll have it smell like a man!’

I just find that those other car fresheners either don’t work after a week, or they are so strong that you actually start to smell like a chick. And in the world of Motley Crue tours, no one wants to smell like a chick.

And this fragrance is awesome because you spray it on the card when you need it, so if you need a little break from the power of sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll (The base notes of this fragrance), then you simply don’t spray it on.

Look I’m going to tell you that it’s R60 that will probably change your life.

It’s changed mine, what are you waiting for?

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