Don’t you hate it when you leave some random apartment in the morning, you don’t know where you are, and you’re running down the street like a Goddamn rock star as a haze of cigarette smoke and whiskey fumes are left in your wake? Look at you man! You are excess personified. You’re a guitar breaking, hotel smashing, poon handling God of excess!

And it’s time your clothing stood up to those levels of abuse.

As it is apparently now winter, judging by the size of my main chap when I walked out naked to grab the paper this morning, you’ll need some decent boots (In winter it’s only 17″!)

And for this we rely on Caterpillar and Timberland.You see, you may not work in construction, but when the Gods are throwing water down on your hedonistic lifestyle, your feet don’t know any better. For all they know, you’re 300 feet underground mining for minerals.

For all they know, you’re commanding the high seas with a bottle of rum.

For all they know, your feet are getting pissed on by some demonic monster who’s been drinking Minotaur Slammers the whole night.

Anyway, I’m here to tell you where to get your boots today. Obviously if you’re a rock ‘n roll God of excess, the Timberland pricing structure of around R2000 for a set of boots is nothing. Timberland are winners outright for their waterproofing which makes them the obvious choice considering it’s raining.

I’m rolling in Cats at the moment because I bought them about 4 years ago and they just never wear out! And I hate buying new stuff when what I already have works…because I love the earth! I don’t buy a lot of things, but buy one good pair of everything. A good pair of jeans, a good jacket, a good set of boots and then I’m all ready to hammer winter in the face. With my disco stick.

DAS BOOT!

Jeans — Always go dark and straight cut. Wear marks on jeans need to be earned!

I used to worry about running through puddles because I hated having my feet soaked but in the Cats I try find puddles now, it’s amazing. Plus if any runny snot nosed kids get in my way — BANG. Out the way kid, I’m wearing earth moving equipment on my feet.

Now don’t go out and buy your Cat boots at a shopping mall, buy them at Footgear in Access Park (Kenilworth — Hosh ja!) The sales there are amazing and you may think it’s plebville, but it’s actually radville. The shoes are sometimes so cheap that you cannot not buy them. I paid R700 for a kick ass pair of 100% leather Cat work boots. That’s cheaper than a set of Nike Hi-Tops. And Hi-Tops won’t stop a storm.

Click here for a map to your nearest Footgear store.

Go get them, they are number one on the SLXS list of winter essentials.