I was actually supposed to write about this many months ago but never did, probably storing this particular article in the recycle bin in my brain. But it has miraculously resurfaced and I’m excited that it has.

You see it actually has got to do with the future of the country, and I’m pretty sure Julius Malema has been reading it because he makes no sense to me.

While the future of any country needs to be nurtured and educated properly, it seems that the publishing sector of this country is on a war path to try and destroy any chances our youth have of being normal. After reading People magazine, the only job you’re likely to get is that of a jizzmopper, because you are basically going to be the dumbest person in the world.

With the things People magazine is teaching our teenagers, I wouldn’t be surprised if our teenagers can only count up to potatoe by the time they reach twenty years of age!

It is true that real writing is taking a knock because of text messages needing to be so short, oh and Mxit, an English teachers nightmare. But People magazine are taking things to a whole new level of ra-tard with their cut out and keep “Text Message Guide”

At any point while viewing the following do feel free to shout what you like, calling People magazine any name under the sun. Also feel free to vomit, pass out, or attempt to win a Pulitzer for just being a person.

Look at People Magazines Text Message Guide:

OH

MY

SHATTERED

NERVES

Or should I say OMSN.

OSISOMSN?

I promise you, if I had got 100% for all my English tests during the year, and tried to slip in “B part of d 1derfl nd w3ird world of txt language” Mr Wilson would have failed me on the spot.

And why write weird like w3ird? Because it’s still 5 characters!

Let’s attempt to use todays People Text Guide in a little story:

“WAYD. YSK I went for P-ZA today, I messaged you CYM. So stop being such a 4NR, UNTCO and stop being like the NME! VSF. Anyway IAT. And thanks for sleeping with my boyfriend, I just thought you should know…RBAY!”

How awesome is that? Mr Wilson would have a sniper take me out in class if I EVER wrote this.

I actually have nothing further to say.

IAHNF2S.

Why is People magazine SO irritating?! Seriously, if South African teenagers are reading People magazine then we don’t have to worry about the future of the country.

Because there won’t be one.