While I was out yesterday building shelters for the homeless people I received an sms that had me dropping my trowel and saying:

“Adios, build this house yourself, I have an event to plan for!”

Jerry D arrived back from Nam yesterday and immediately let me know that we should be attending Bastille weekend in Franschhoek. I enquired as to why, as the word “Bastille” sounded decidedly French to me.

He then let me know that it is a weekend of celebration for some or other reason. Neither of us really cared to do more research into it after we realised that it is nothing more than a booze up. This had us sold on the idea of taking a little trip up this weekend.

The official Franschhoek website lets us know that some of the events this weekend include:

A ‘Long Walk’ commemorating freedom. This is a 21km walk from the prison gates to the monument. This sounds like a foolish idea! Why walk when we can just ask the Saudis to pump more oil so we can get there in our cars? And why would we want to walk 21km’s? Especially when there is a booze up happening nearby!

21km walk or a bottle of wine?

21km walk or a bottle of wine?

21km walk or a bottle of wine?

I think you know what I will be doing. I will be having 6 bottles of wine, to celebrate ‘freedom’ Freedom to choose to drink at any tome of the day.

It also says there is a Food and Wine Marquee. Now that’s what I’m talking about! YES! VICTORY! I don’t care about the food but the wine does sound delicious.

It also mentions that you should wear a beret, but I don’t want us looking like gay French sidewalk painters, so I’m telling the guys to just dress normally. But girls, you can wear berets, as long as you look similiar to this. Or exactly like this:

Kate insisted I shag her on the back seat while Barton our driver drove us to our house in the Hamptons

If you don’t look like that, then please give it a skip.

Honestly…

I’m not shallow!

I just like hot chicks.

Nothing wrong with that.

Click HERE for the Franschhoek website with more details. It runs from the 12th until the 13th of July. And sobriety is for nuns.

Sean Lloyd

Editor