Oh no! Not The Rog!

I kind of forgot to write this. I might have been drinking Jager Bombs at the Pandoras Box album launch party at Bambu last week Friday(Well Friday before this past one). Or was it Saturday? I can’t confirm how much I drank, or on what quantities, but I was sitting at my desk now and suddenly a little light switched on in my head.

The precise thought that brought back this memory was that I was thinking about the Infected Mushroom party that I went to on Friday night.

It triggered some sort of party reflex, my liver jolted, and I remembered that I was at Bambu about a week and a half ago. I don’t know what I was doing there, but I was having a great time. Bambu run a pretty slick vibe in Cape Town.

You walk in, and funny enough, on the outside pavement they have bamboo plants just chilling and setting a nice vibe. You might make the connection there.

Bambu

Bamboo

Did you see what they did with that? I think it’s quite clear but I thought I would explain it to you in case you have the mental capacity of a brick.

Obviously I didn’t pay because I had my VIP bracelet on because I’m obviously very important. Or not. I don’t know who organised it but Mitch had something or other to do with it. Mitch is my party liason and he gets me into places where you cannot be gotten into. And we never pay entrance, are always surrounded by nice girls, drink nice drinks and soon and so…third.

Let’s show you a quick picture. Now remember, if you are very young, what these girls do is obviously VERY wrong, and we would NEVER recommend it. However, when presented with it, we don’t complain.

Cheeky

You see, the SLXS crew and it’s associated members are naughty. The girls don’t wear underwear. It’s a very silly thing to do really but I will not complain.

I’d rather they wear no underwear than those hideous granny panties. Luckily I have not seen those since high school. Well first year out actually.

I hate it when our girls do this because they know it makes me angry. When I’m angry I need to spank someone. So usually I gave them a smack on the bottom because they are being very naughty. I always smack them with my pimp hand. Because it keeps my pimp hand strong.

Another cool thing about girls who don’t wear underwear is that there is no incriminating evidence the next morning. You know, you take that supermodel home while your wife is away, she leaves her underwear on the floor and then your wife walks in later in the day to find them on the ground because you have not woken yet to pick them up. Not ideal. This usually ends in something called “divorce” Not too sure on that one really I don’t have any experience of it.

The Rog was there, mixing it up, about to spin off the planet. I can’t remember when he played because I was chatting to some chicks in the VIP room. I never got Biancas number. School boy error.

We met Bianca when we were perusing the booze menu, and we all added that it would be quite silly to actually order the R8000 bottle of Cristal. That’s a true story, a bottle of Cristal at Bambu is R8000. But that’s basically like guaranteeing that you will come right.

Cristal is synonymous with US rap stars. And MTV Cribs. I think they have a deal going on Cribs, because every place has Cristal in the fridge even if they don’t drink champagne. And let’s be honest, it’s not that great.

Oh you haven’t tasted it? Shame.

As we chatted to Bianca we told stories about the time some chick who was out with us knocked over a bottle of Moet in the club and we had to take her away for a spanking as she had once again been a very stupid girl. I’m sure we will see Biance again sometime but I can’t recall what she looks like.

Other than that we had some girl swinging from the ceiling which is quite a novel idea. It ensured that no guys were dancing, but rather staring.

Damn it’s Tuesday already which means…it’s the weekend!

For us anyway. Now get back to the office and let us play TV games in peace. Or pieces, judging by the state of this bottle of gin.

Click BAMBU to be directed to the Bambu website, where you will find useful information on it and not the rubbish I write which involves alcohol and half naked women. Which I guess is not a bad thing.

Sean Lloyd

Editor