The first time I ever really linked the word “croon” with anyone, was a few years ago listening to all that is wrong with this world, Tom Jones, the sex bomb. He is the most hideous man! But for some or other reason chicks dig him. He has had plastic surgery to the max and just resembles a dirty old man. But he is quite a decent singer apparently. Why any girls would want to throw their panties at him is beyond me, but chicks dig his whole vibe that he sends out.

Put yourself in a girls shoes, or if you are a girl, don’t change shoes. Imagine Tom in front of you, sweating, belting out some tunes. Imagine his eyes all like a deer in the headlights because of the plastic surgery pulling his face back over his head. Now ask yourself, why would I go to the effort of taking my underwear off and throwing it at him?

It’s a mind boggling question, something that I doubt science can explain.

If you go to his website at www.tomjones.com , you will see that he is completely in love with himself. His website does not contain a biography, it contains a “Tomography” It’s totally insane! It makes no sense really. That’s like calling my biography a “Seanography” It has no meaning. Well I guess when you have slept with a countless number of women(Read THIS) you can pretty much call it anything you want!

And then to top it all of(Over and above his hair and perma tan), we find out that Tom Jones also likes to wear a Speedo from time to time! Complete with shag pile carpet hairy chest. Tom Jones IS a God!

Enjoy “The Tom” in all his glory

After TJ, I then realised that Lionel Ritchie was also a “crooner”. Lionel, to those of you unaware, is the father of that pregnant chick, who now just looks a normal size, Nicole Ritchie. Nicole became famous for The Simple Life and…um…yeah I think that’s about it.So this brings me onto the song I’m currently belting out through the stereo… I connected my iPod to the amp and am currently sending Foreigners “Waiting for a girl like you” through the atmosphere, and making my neighbours very unhappy.

Well it’s not like they can actually hear the music, they are like 100 years old. Well, 250 years if you combine the husband and wife. It’s quite a crooning song and I’m pretty sure many a person has come right with this type of music playing! I can’t say it’s worked for me, but hey…you can’t win all the time.

This brings me onto the topic of Foreigner, who are crooning their way into Cape Town this Friday, the 23rd of November! If there is any easier way to come right with the bird, then you need to tell me. Taking the bird to the Foreigner concert might just work. It’s all you need really to save a crumbling relationship, or to make a girl think that you are sophisticated and suave. Look, it could also come across as cheesy( I have no doubt it will), but I think it’s worth a try?

In the name of science, I would take along a girl for the purpose of writing an article, but as no one is really THAT keen to accompany me, I will be giving it a skip. Look I’m sure one day someone will accompany me to a concert like this, but just not this time. Sorry.

If you would like to come right on Friday night at the Grand Arena at Grand West casino, call up the doll, click HERE to book a ticket at Computicket, and let the magic begin.

Oh I should also mention that Just Jinger are playing at Paul Cluver on Saturday night, 24 November 2007, click HERE for the whole shindig.

The Kirstenbosch summer sunset concerts also kick off right about this weekend, and you have to see a couple of these, they are a great reason to chill with friends, have a drink and see some awesome music. I’m sure I will be ambling around at a few of these concerts. A highlight is Seether, who are playing on the 6th of January 2008.

Come to think of it, there are so many highlights happening at Kirstenbosch and Cape Town is being spoiled this year with music! My top choices would be Seether, Plush, Goldfish, Watershed and The Rudimentals. Rad! Click HERE for the event calendar at Kirstenbosch.

Then don’t forget the SAA open golf tournament happening at the Pearl Valley Golf Estate in Paarl in the Western Cape from the 13th until the 16th of December 2007. Ernie Els, Retief Goosen and Greg Norman will be stumbling around the course trying to hit the little plastic ball thingy with a club and trying to get it into that thing where the flag is on the green. Click SAA Open for the details.

So that’s it really, another blinder of a summer.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I bought this shirt recently:

Enjoy the shirt. Enjoy my chin.

Yeah…I think that’s about it. Very interesting. Not too sure what to say.
I got it from Energie. For more information on where to buy this type of clothing, click HERE.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The market

It was decided that after bending the week out of shape I would pay a chilled visit to the Porter Estate produce market in Tokai to settle my nerves. I had decided on the market about a week ago and I told BMP we should hit it hard in the face. So Mike sent me a message on Friday asking if it was still on. Oh it was. It was on like Donkey Kong.

Saturday morning came round and I was not strong like Russia. I was so weak! I had decided to do a run on Friday, and absolutely sent it, while my heart rate shot through the roof and my Polar HRM went off its rocker. Waking up with wobbly legs on Saturday, I shimmied my way to the kitchen and annihilated a fruit smoothie and a variety of supplements, of which 50% of them I probably don’t need. In fact I don’t even really know what they do anymore.

The Tokai market was not as talent plentiful as the Neighbourhood goods market in Woodstock, but there were one or two very nice girls mingling around. Nothing to write home about though, as it was a bit of an older crowd.

We sauntered about, strutting our stuff and came upon the Imhoff cheese stall where it was evident that someone thought that comedy was their forte. Which I might add, it wasn’t. I was minding my own business when I thought I would take a photo of the stall. Suddenly Mrs “I’m hilarious I should be married to Ricky Gervais” piped up and said something like “You can’t take photos here you need to pay and get a permit”

What she did not understand was that I had absolutely bent it the entire week, I had hardly slept and I was on the edge! If I wanted to go to a comedy show, I would have. Seriously, I’m pretty sure Cokey Falkow would have been performing somewhere on a Saturday.

So I said “I’m not allowed to take photos out here in the open?” And she replied, with a nod, and said “Yes”

I then looked at her, and by this time everyone at this stupid cheese stall was staring at me! She realised what an uncomfortable atmosphere she had created and then said “I’m joking!”

Oh yes, ha ha ha ha ha! FUNNY! Good joke! Actually, no one laughed and she ruined my whole vibe. After that I just wanted to take the whole cheese stand and heat it up in the microwave. I wanted to give my mate God a call and tell him to concentrate all the worlds sunlight onto that damn cheese stand. Did that “joke” make you laugh?

Let’s recap on the joke. Put yourself in my Nike shoes. You are about to take a photo. Girl says “You can’t do that you need a permit and you need to pay” That is basically the joke. Would you laugh out loud and go “Ha ha good one! Hilarious!” I didn’t laugh.

I did laugh when I realised I came close to swearing like a drill sergeant. Kids would have cried, parents would have kicked me and I would have looked like an idiot. But you know the feeling…not much sleep the whole week…and then a lame joke puts you at the centre of attention at a damn cheese stall when all you want to do is put your sunglasses on and move around quietly by yourself and not be the centre of attention while playing with thoughts in your head breathing the fresh forest air and thinking you need to sleep more and maybe also thinking of when the next party is and what the concert is going to be like tonight. And then someone makes you the centre of attention. I’m 100% cool with jokes being on me, but at least make them funny!

Life is hectic enough without cheese sellers thinking that they are the next generation of Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle is funny. I will laugh at Dave Chappelle.

But other than that little incident I had a great time! I tried some sort of pie which was this vegetarian mix of sweet potatoe, lentils and something else that had me smiling. It was delicious! Products available at the market include eggs, meat, cheese, flowers, fresh bread, vegetables, chutney, burgers, full breakfasts, croissants and there was even sushi! I don’t think we actually want more than this.

I enjoy going to markets because it’s a completely different experience to your regular shop, for obvious reasons. There is just something about buying vegetables and all the other produce out in the open that feels so right. The Porter Estate produce market attracts a nice mix of people, from kids who play in the forest to old men without shirts and some hippie type people. The guy without a shirt was definitely an attraction at the market. Well not “attraction” in that sense, but more of a highlight I guess. Please enjoy the photo below and also notice the sign saying “Please do not feed the baboons” And then they put a picture of a pig on the sign. Odd.

“I’m too sexy for my shirt”

He was just chilling in the sun bronzing, digging the fact that in his eyes he was in the sort of shape that made male model Fabio famous.

The hippies are quite hilarious, and you find yourself being mesmerised by the 30 something year old people, playing with hula hoops in the grass. Probably just before going to toke it up in the forest. Maximum respect.

“Moonshoesies” Feed your inner hippie

I also enjoyed the following stall, selling”Green Xpresso” Oh so that’s what the kids call it these days! Too lazy to even roll it, so they drink it. It’s labelled “Wheat grass”, but we all know the wheat name is there to make it sound more casual, like a loaf of bread. Kind of like space cookies. Similiar thing.

Drinking a joint

So that was it, a nice chilled morning except for the fact that the cheese seller was out to make me the centre of attention when all I wanted was to be left alone.

Gosh! Idiot!

To get to the Porter Estate produce market…let me access my dusty GPS in my head…you go towards the Tokai forest, with the golf course(Steenberg I believe) on your left hand side. You keep going, past the picnic area on your right, and then keep on trucking until you hit the end where the Manor house is. From there, there will be volunteers directing you to the parking, which costs five South African ront.

Watch out for the cheese lady, she is scary.

UPDATE: The market is every Saturday from 9am until 1pm, weather permitting. Also click WHY for the website.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

“Does this really count as work?” Charlie said, popping the cork on the bottle of bubbly. The sun was now blazing and the view of the ocean was obscured by the sun reflecting off of its mirrored surface.

“Yeah…I guess it does” I replied, leaning forward to grab a flute, slowly filling it with liquid gold.

We looked over the ocean from Somerset West while chilling on the patio, knowing that this was it. This is what life is about. The lazy days in the sun, friends, food and fine drinks.

We were cruising about Somerset West, just outside of Cape Town, but we were still living the excess lifestyle.

“Thanks, I’ll have another if you are offering”

Motoring up Sir Lowry’s pass with the city lights on our right hand side, I wondered what it would be like to live out of the hustle of the city. I did not have to wonder too long as I was about to find out as we headed over the pass into a scene out of a movie. Taking a left turn into the Paul Cluver wine estate we were met at the gate by staff with the list of names.

“Lloyd, Sean Lloyd” I said, thinking I was Sean Connery or something.

“Say your prayers little one, don’t forget my son, to include everyone” He said.

What? Is this the right place? Thousands of neurons firing in my brain. Why have we been sent here? Wait…didn’t we get sent here to cover a concert? Why the weird welcome?

“Thank you sir you can go through, do you know how to get to the amphitheatre?” The guy standing at the gate said.

“Uh yeah I think I do thanks very much”

“Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight”

Oh it was not the guy at the gate speaking earlier, it was Metallica playing on the CD. I think I’m losing the last of my mind.

We were somewhere just outside of Cape Town and the feeling was isolated and serene. No taxis, no people, no noise.

The car struggled for traction on the dirt road, and the scene in the rear view mirror was one of road debauchery as vicious clouds of dust were kicked up in this rustic setting. I looked around and saw the crowds arriving, thinking that this must be the right area of the wine estate for the concert. The car rolled into a long patch of grass and the ignition was shut. I tenderly exited through the passenger door and thought to myself

“Good grief, why have we NOT been here before?”

I heard a voice in the background “Hey rookie, will you just grab my phone” I heard this, but it did not register. I stared across to my right, noticing the silhouette of the trees, the people walking down the path to the amphitheatre and the outline of a house of sorts. Moving visuals of life of yesteryear, where everything was calm and life was lived at a slow pace, devoid of the excesses of our current life.

We entered the amphitheatre, surrounded by high trees and a setting sun while parents drank wine and kids ran around carefree as though the world was theirs for the taking.

We were here to experience the smooth sounds of CODA, who I must be honest, I had never heard before.

I sat there, watching, waiting, looking, writing notes and taking it all in. The fresh air, the sounds of nature and none of those of unnatural sounds such as cars and the city noise. The peace of a natural setting like this is somewhat unnerving having lived the excess life for so long. But hey…A change is as good as holiday.

We sat down on our chosen perch and waited for the band to arrive.

I looked around trying to gather as much as I could. Fallen leaves had dried up to form a soft covering over the earth, comfortable enough to walk barefoot on. The connection of glass on glass was heard as people toasted to having arrived in this summer wonderland. There was no tension here, just happiness as friends and family gathered in the name of fun. A small table was selling wine behind the seating area. Perfect.

The sun was setting as the cool summer air washed over us, and the trees viewed proceedings as some sort of guardians of nature. Out here in the forest, we had all gathered to see one of South Africa’s most exciting new groups, CODA.

Not being a music critic, I decided that I would collect what I thought I enjoyed of the show. The music is very African and soothing, with the sounds of the cello and violin permeating the natural setting. Vocals as sexy as Yolandas are something to behold, and had me totally relaxed and at ease after a week of not much sleep! The perfect Saturday evening was upon me, and all I could do was take it all in.

CODA live at the Paul Cluver forest amphitheatre

The setting of the Paul Cluver wine estate goes a long way to creating the sort of atmosphere that CODA’s music inevitably produces. The vibe is almost zen like, as you find yourself drifting off and forgetting about everything else that seemingly matters in the city life.

At the half time break we walked up towards the area of the rustic farm house I had seen earlier. The band were standing around chatting and we asked for a photo with them which they gladly allowed us to take.

Kicking it with CODA

The set was about two hours long, but it seemed as though time had literally passed by in a flash as we were onto the last song, leaving me wanting more.

We saddled up in the car, and made our way back along the farm road, the car cutting a figure in the ambient night light, as quietness descended upon the venue. Well it was quietness in my mind anyway. I was totally relaxed and happy we had made the journey out to Paul Cluver to experience CODA for the very first time. It was the first time seeing them, but definitely not the last.

Sidling down Sir Lowry’s pass we could once again see the visuals of the city life. Street lights, cars, a maze of roads and more excess.

We rolled into the driveway, hopped out the car with excitement and once again took our seat on the patio.

I settled into my perch, now looking in the same direction as I was earlier. The blinding sunlight had now been replaced by the city lights, probably powered by burning coal which is unsettling in this day of awareness of global warming.

At least for a few hours on Saturday we were away from it, as CODA transported us to another world.

“Did that really count as work?” Charlie said as he removed the cork from a bottle of white wine.

“Yeah…I guess it did” I said as I leaned forward to fill my glass…

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Links to visit:

CODA

Paul Cluver

And click HERE for the schedule of concerts taking place at the Paul Cluver forest amphitheatre, I highly recommend it.

I was just perusing, at my leisure, the various photos I have taken in Cape Town, and they are quite something! I’m especially fond of sunrises and sunsets. I never knew this until now looking at these two photos, plus some cycling photos and the photos I took at Paul Cluver wine estate on Saturday. I definitely have a “thing” for sunsets and sunrises.
The first photo was taken about a week ago and there was a period of a few minutes where the sky turned this beautiful colour, and I saw it from my desk, ran outside and took the photo.

Not too shabby Nige 

This second photo was taken earlier in the year, and I think I have used it on this site before. It was taken at the Blaauwberg house and is also really beautiful.

I don’t think we can ask for much more than these awesome sunsets! They definitely capture what Cape Town is all about.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

For the past week or two I have been battling to find my favourite Falke hidden socks and I’m quite disappointed. Sportsman’s Warehouse have enough Falke cotton socks at their Rondebosch branch to actually be able to make clothes for the whole world, but they don’t have the Falke socks I want. They have everything else though; running, mountain biking, walking, climbing and whatever else socks you need. But not mine. Not happy.

Pathetic

I was just slamming on my Nike Dunk Low shoes and wondered what they would actually look like with normal length socks on. Normal length socks are quite popular with German tourists in Cape Town who like to wear them with sandals. These tourists always wear their “Safari suits” in the centre of Cape Town. I mean, obviously we are in South Africa so it is the desert and I do keep lions in my back yard as protection. Another type of person sporting the long sock look is wannabe American basketball stars and Mathletes. Mathletes are the top pf the mathematics world,and see themselves as the athletes of the maths world.

I have been wearing secret socks for years now because obviously I am way ahead of the trends. Obviously!

So trying my Nike shoes on this morning with normal length socks had me laughing because it looks ridiculous! I wonder how we ever coped sporting this look. It’s hilarious! Nothing about it is fashionable and it makes me look pathetic. Obviously my skinny legs don’t help here either, which is quite unfortunate.

You should try wearing normal socks for a day with shorts and see if you can actually handle it. I just walked outside and someone walked past in the street and already I felt as if they were looking at me. The dogs are even laughing.

It’s a crazy style that I’m happy has been done away with! It’s a style that needed to be DESTROYED! Apologies to German tourists in Cape Town and Mathletes.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The occasion was Marcel’s birthday and we were invited to FTV bar in Cape Town for what was set to be a night of debaucherous proportions. It’s sometimes hard to pinpoint where a night like this goes so wrong, but you can get a general idea by looking over the pieces of the evening. I think we can confidently say that the drink mixing was NOT a good idea. Seriously, this was our drinking schedule on the night, which I have pieced together after talking to all the guilty parties involved. We all had a mixture of: Champagne, beer, Absolut shooters, vodka and Red Bull, shots of Jagermeister on their own, Jager bombs, whisky and Flex Bender(Basically like pre-mixed Jack and lime)

Someone once warned us not to mix drinks. We never listened. We should have. It really did remind me of Hunter S Thompson, without the drugs. But it truly was a savage journey to the heart of the Cape Town dream. We were somewhere on the edge of the bar when the Flex Bender began to take hold… I’m not sure if we found the dream, but when I woke up yesterday the dream was shattered and I was broken. You know a night has gone pear shaped when you get sms’s like the following in the morning:

“I don’t want to live anymore last night was my pinnacle”

“My mouth feels like the Sahara dried up even more. It’s like the surface of the moon or Jupiter or some dry intergalactic planetary system”

It was that mad. The Godfathers of excess were out in full force that night, and it started off tame at the bar upstairs with a few drinks and couple of shooters. We were then ushered into a closed off section where we were seated at our tables, ready to dine! Luckily for me, someone had seated me at a table of angels. I immediately pulled Bing Bong out of my pocket, to get a lesson in living in excess. Bing Bong has only been with SLXS for a week, and already he has experienced Tiger Tiger and FTV bar. What is next for the big guy? Space travel?

Bing Bong goes to FTV Bar Cape Town

We spent the better part of the early evening chatting to Pia and Gina, who we only met for the first time that evening. They must have thought we were absolutely off our heads, because somewhere along the line they made an exit and I never saw them leave. Or maybe they did say goodbye…I can’t remember. And I’m not quite sure what I said in the conversation, but I doubt it was anything intelligent. Honestly girls we are not stupid. We’re just drawn that way…

Girls

The food was great and I was hungry like rabid dog. I had some sort of cheese starter and have absolutely no idea what it was called but it was awesome. Then some chicken thing for mains and ice cream in a type of pastry for dessert. It was so damn good! I was in my element. Good friends, good food, fine drink and enough crazy people to inspire accountants to quit their jobs and join into a life of excess.

We had the speeches to celebrate 21 years of Marcel, and then everyone moved around to other tables and chatted. And we bumped into none other than Corne, the crazy party girl! Seriously, she parties all the time, and whenever we see her, she is smiling and dancing and having a good time.I chatted to her but I’m not too sure what I said…It probably was not anything intelligent though.

I then bumped into some mates who I had not seen in ages, and once again Jager bombs were had in celebration. The defining moment of excess was walking into the bathroom with a drink that I believe was tasting good on the palette, and on the way out making a monumental stuff up. Some guy had just walked out in front of me, so I tried to slip through the door before it closed. Unfortunately, the door has a serious spring on it and it slammed into me, knocking my delicious drink onto the floor in a dramatic fashion that had glass flying everywhere. Needless to say I was NOT happy. The staff there are snappy and before I could say “Sorry I’m an idiot” there was someone clearing the glass up. Top notch service.

I then proceeded to go to the downstairs section hoping everyone had started to slow down a little bit. But no…these guys never give it a break! JJ was drinking champagne out the bottle, everyone was dancing, they were ordering more shooters and there was just a mess of people everywhere! It was like walking into some sort of underground Studio 54 party. One moment you think you will be able to have a quiet chat with someone and the next…whoooosh…bang…BOOM…smash…CRACK…thunder…Jager bomb inside you!

JJ…A captain of phuza

The guys and girls were crazy! But it was expected as Wednesday night are known to be the nights to smash FTV bar. You probably wonder how we continue to live like this…no sleep…constant party…and I can’t answer that. And I still manage to keep a fair fitness schedule of mountain biking in Tokai forest, climbing Lions Head, running like a mad person and generally keeping this temple of a body in good enough shape to be able to do everything in Cape Town that I think you should do. It’s a bit of a miracle really.

Enjoying a drink…or two

FTV is definitely the hot ticket on Wednesday nights and we had a blinder of a party there.

The setting is upmarket and sophisticated and everything feels classy. Wicked decor that you wouldn’t mind having in your own house. We obviously bought the class rating down a notch with our crazy party styles…but hey…it’s a lifestyle. The crowd is sophisticated and quite beautiful looking which is GREAT.

Fashion TV Bar Cape Town

114 Hout Street

Corner of Buitengracht De Waterkant Village

Cape Town

Phone +27(0) 21-426 6000

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I think now is a good time to refresh our memories on the Nick Koster interview, because I received a photo of Nick the other day.

You know…an average day…chilling with Jake White…holding the William Webb Ellis trophy.

Chilling

I think we need to keep an eye on this mans career…

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Look I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t feel well at all today. Hopefully I can recover in time to write about last night and put the article up by the end of the day. We attended one of the most debauched birthday parties ever at FTV bar in Cape Town last night.

The night went pear shaped somewhere along the line, hence the ill feeling today. There was so much there- beautiful people, drinks, food. Pretty much an excess of everything which suited us fine.

A very happy birthday goes out to Marcel today! Thanks for the night, I think we all had a great time. The whole of Cape Town knows we had a great time.

Damn this is a ferocious hangover! Just looking at getting some hydration in, and maybe then I can even eat something. You are lucky you are not me today. Or anyone who attended the birthday last night because you would then be feeling terrible. Oh well it’s part of my life now and I will just have to wait for this feeling to go away. After all…it’s only a feeling.

Check in later. I have photos.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I was just reading THIS PIECE over at Cherryflava, and was quite shocked to say the least!

Pick ‘n Pay have gone and spent a monumental amount of money on rebranding themselves, which is fair enough. You know…if they had spent it wisely. Instead they have gone and designed a new logo, which is alright, and added a ridiculous pay off line, “Inspired by you”

It’s too much! It’s hilarious. The first thing I thought when Pick ‘n Pay said this was “Inspired by me? No I don’t think so” Because then they would have been inspired by a life of excess which is clearly not the case. Well maybe it is the case, because R110 million is excessive! But let’s call this an even $15 million. What would have SLXS done with $15 million to truly give back to the customers?

Oh I will tell you! I would have bought a private island, like THIS ONE, which is 400 acres and situated in Grenada for the tidy price of $10 million. If Pick ‘n Pay did this, they would still have $5 million left to blow on excess. Perfect. Then what you do every month is host parties, where you fly customers up to the island to party. Make it a Pick ‘n Pay Ibiza! The $5 million could be invested wisely and made to grow to stupendous amounts, and they would be the first store to have thier own private island where they send lucky customers! Now that is “Inspired by you”

$10 million 

$15 million 

Imagine the debauchery that would go on there? It would be clinically insane! Besides, this would give Pick ‘n Pay celebrity credibility. Granted, people would say that they have gone over the top and forgotten their roots, but it would be so much fun! Imagine Raymond Ackerman sipping on a Mojito while some oil girl cools him with a banana leaf, while you chill sipping on a cosmopolitan admiring the lifestyle choice of Pick ‘n Pay.

They could even grow their own food on the island, collect their own water and just rock out 24/7.

Imagine if SLXS ran the world, what a crazy place it would be? It would be one huge party and everyone would be happy. We would drink, we would fly, we would all live in Cape Town and we would all be a little crazy!

I think Pick ‘n Pay need to latch onto my idea. I’m no marketing genius, but I know excess when I see it. And man, a $10 million island is sheer, 100% pure excess on the Debauchery Scale(Similiar to the Richter scale)Vulgar displays of wealth are sometimes the way to go. Not all the time. But here it would work.

Let’s do it. Do it. Gin and tonic. Do it.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I vaguely remember getting to bed at about 3am last night(Well, this morning at least) Which is rather naughty of me. My parents would be shocked if they heard that. Which is not ideal considering I have a gym session scheduled this morning for 9:30. It should be fun, even more so that it is with a colleague! Hilarious. I have not been in a gym seriously in about four years.

Usually I just run and do some mountain biking. Talking of that, I must tell you all where to ride in Cape Town in summer, it’s so much fun. Go mountain biking though, it’s way more fun than road riding and there are no cars, plus you are in nature. Great!

I laughed last night at the arrogance of some girls in Kaap Stad. I was trying to shimmy through a packed club, and I lightly put a hand on this girls waist because she would just not move! Contrary to popular belief, I cannot walk through people. Then I said “Sorry darling”, and motioned to walk past.

She looked at me like you would look at someone who has just crashed your Ferrari Enzo, and kicked a little bunny rabbit, and said “Um no…not darling” She OBVIOUSLY thought that I was interested in her. Which I CLEARLY was not. Look, if I’m interested in you, I will be wearing my Notting Hill inspired shirt saying “Fancy a shag?” And just to settle your little nerves, I call lots of people darling. I call my mother darling. I call my sister darling. I think I may have even called my dad darling a few times! So please, CALM DOWN!

Just because you have this idea in your head that you are the centre of the earth, and are the most beautiful girl in the world, does not mean anything. Maybe next time try be nice to people and you will see that Cape Town is a rad place! Maybe you will even get some more friends. Can we not all just smile, have a laugh and be friendly? I think we can! Trust me it works. Because life is too short to be grumpy. Chill people…Chill.

So that was that. Good times.

So I’m prepping myself for a bit of a gym session and I might even report back on it. Or I will get back and write on these other ideas that have been doing a little bit of a dance inside my head. Some are doing the tango, others the cha cha and a few are doing a salsa type of vibe. Personally I do the moonwalk like Michael Jackson. It’s obvious that I can float. Didn’t we all know that?

So I’m going to float through the gym, gun it home in the VR3, get home, smash a type of fruit, drink some water, and celebrate to health…and excess. And to sculpted guns…

1001…I dunno if you heard me counting but I did over a thousand…

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

So anyway, I was scouting for a zen garden yesterday, and that did not work out according to plan because Woolworths don’t sell them anymore. Which is disappointing. I expect Woolworths to stock EVERYTHING. If I want a car then I want to buy it at Woolworths. If I want to adopt a child like Angie and Brad, I want to adopt it at Woolworths. If I want to drink milk out of a saucer like a cat, I want to do it at Woolworths. I remember not too long ago they had zen gardens, and I thought “No no, it’s cool, I will buy one sometime” And now they don’t have them which makes for a sad editor. Cue cheesy sad face, bottom lip out.

Anyway, I cruised Cape Town in the VR3 trying to track down a zen garden but I was unsuccessful and will have to try again TODAY! A zen garden is quite relaxing and I have no doubt it will add to the current aura of peace, tranquility and a little bit of madness that surrounds me. I’m like a wise Buddha, only thinner. And with a devilishly handsome smile. But I never smile. I am ice cold.

While I was in the car on my own, I remembered something that I was talking about with BMP and his teammate Carey. Carey somehow discovered this wicked place in the V&A Waterfront which sells these little toys.

So it kind of brings back childhood memories for me where I used to have the most massive collection of Ninja Turtle toys. In fact, such is my inner child, I still have them! Which is a little bit strange. But I bet you still have your blanket from when you were a baby, don’t you? We ALL know the co-anchor does.

Isn’t that sweet though? I’m still just a kid deep down. You know…sensitive…innocent…wide eyed…That type of thing. So to bring out my inner kid again I thought I would go buy another toy. It’s the first time since I was a youngster that I have actually bought a toy. Damn it feels good! Obviously this might make me sound a little crazy, but that’s alright because surely you will still call me superman? Let’s ask the question now. If I go crazy, will you still call me superman? Shiver me timbers that would make a catchy song! I could probably make some good cash making a song like that.

Anyway, I found myself at the V&A Waterfront yesterday scouting for this toy store. I found it. It’s near the Kauai place in the Waterfront, which is near the official Crocs sandal shop. It amazes me, that at the current rate of shop rental prices, Crocs manage to have an entire store dedicated to the ugliest shoes/sandals/ Japandals or whatever they are called. Then they still have another one or two stalls in the passages at the V&A Waterfront. It’s clear that they are using Crocs as a front for the illegal crocodile, turtle neck and shark fin trade. How on earth do they sell enough Crocs in a month to pay the rent? It’s beyond me. I mean, how many people actually want to look stupid every month?

So this toy store is situated in that area. It’s in the passages in a sort of cart/rickshaw type of stand. It’s called ToiToy and it’s rad! The toys are awesome because you don’t know what you are getting and some are limited edition and they are all kind of a bit different. So Carey started off the trend by kitting her town apartment out with these toys, and they can be found on top of her television. After I saw them the first time, I became completely obsessed.

I mean I do have an addictive personality. First I was addicted to cycling and sculpting my guns and cheese grater abs, then I went on to alcohol and girls. Now I’m just on alcohol, seeing as though girls don’t actually want to be seen in my presence. It’s cool though, I dig my own vibe and am quite confident staring into the bottom of my glass at some random club in Cape Town. I’m so confident in fact that I go out to chill by myself. I dig it. Nothing better than pumping music, hot girls, loads of drinks and nothing but your own thoughts to keep you occupied.

So anyway, I bought this random toy,which fits nicely onto my key chain, and went home. I ripped the box open like there was actually going to be gold(Or a girl) inside it. I was so excited! Seriously…I could hardly contain the excitement. Like a kid in a candy shop.

And here is the reason why:

Speechless… 

Is that not the cutest thing you have ever seen in your entire life? Do you not want to cuddle with it? I know I do. I feel bad having Bing Bong(I have named it already) chilling with my keys though, and constantly feel terrible whilst driving. I can hear Bing Bongs head clashing with my cold, hard car keys when I turn corners fast or brake hard(Which is ALL the time in the VR3) My keys are cold and hard. Bing Bong is warm and soft, like a little bunny rabbit.

I mean I have not considered marriage in a while…But Bing Bong has gotten me sold on the whole idea.

Sean is one one knee.

Bing Bong will you marry me and elope to a far away land?

Bing Bong can’t speak. Bing Bong is a plastic toy. Sean has fallen in love with a plastic key chain. Sean is an idiot.

Anyway, do visit ToiToy at the V&A Waterfront. It’s near the Crocs shop, in the passage, and has wicked cool toys!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

So we smashed up Ignite(Well not me really, I was so tired I just chilled) last night to go and see Flat Stanley, The Rudimentals and Goldfish play.

The one guy in The Rudimentals, no jokes, has dreadlocks that go down to his feet, it’s too hectic to see something like that on a Sunday. Then the other guy has a set of chopstick sideburns that will shatter your mind. They are HUGE! Anyway, being a silly boy, I never took my camera. I was so damn tired I did not even know who was playing at Ignite, even though I had been told.

Entrance was R100, but luckily those dearest to us had organised a little spot on the guest list which was a nice touch and that means I can now spend that R100 on my garden I’m going to buy.

I’m so useless today, please excuse me. As the week wears on I will get into better shape. It’s just that…breaking a mental sweat every day takes it’s toll and I need some rest time. I’m like a fine wine. I get better with age. I just hope I don’t spoil with age, that would be a catastrophe.

I think that’s all I had to write for now. I’m going to scout for a zen garden today to put on my desk. That combined with the incense I burn, plus the the toys I’m going to buy, plus the music I listen to, will ensure that I am in a constant state of calm and peace. Thus making me live the Japanese way of life. Or something like that. I’m rambling now. I should stop. I’m tired. I’m going to drink tea in the sun, on the porch(Not in the Porsche) and relax, get in tune with the electromagnetic waves of the earth and see what I can come up with.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Alright, if you are in the Cape Town area(If you are not, you should be!), here are some cool things happening that I recommend:

The SAA Open is taking place from the 13th to the 16th December 2007 at Pearl Valley Golf Estate, Paarl, Western Cape. The likes of Ernie Els, Retief Goosen and Greg Norman(Nice hat Greg) will be there. Click GREG WEARS FUNNY HATS for the SAA Open website.

Starting on the 17th November 2007, the Paul Cluver Forest Amphitheatre will be hosting a variety of bands which include Just Jinger, Prime Circle, Watershed and Johnny Clegg. Click JOHNNY CLEGG THE WHITE ZULU for the website.

Seether play live at the Kirstenbosch Summer Sunset concerts on the 6th of January 2008. Rarely will you be able to see Seether (Fronted by SA born Shaun Morgan) play in such a setting, and it’s something that should be seen by everyone. I have seen them live at the old Green Point Stadium, and they are seriously awesome and definitely worth seeing. Click KIRSTENBOSCH for the link and all the details of the other Kirstenbosch Summer Sunset concerts.

Enjoy summer Cape Town, it’s going to be an absolute blinder. Top weather, top bands playing live in and around Cape Town and we can’t possibly ask for anything more!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I have been meaning to write this for a while, but the photo opportunity continues to elude me. I was gunning through Rondebosch in the VR3 today when I saw the car, but I did not have my camera on me. Which is strange, considering I normally always keep my camera on me.

There is a Bentley driving around Cape Town with the number plate “Gynae 1″ Now we all know this has to refer to a gynaecologist(My spell check says it does not have an “a” in it. Whatever. I am the Oxford dictionary) It’s not quite the profession that you want to shout out loud to the masses. It’s always interesting meeting a gynaecologist.

“So Jim, what do you do?”

“Well Sean, I’m a gynaecologist”

“Oh right…what EXACTLY does that entail Jim? I mean, HOW was your day?”

It’s not quite dinner table talk with the folks. It just seems strange. Strange that “Gynae” must already be taken, otherwise why would this person call it Gynae “1″? What’s next? When the numbers start looking strange like “Gynae 69″ are they just going to change it? These guys make lot’s of money so I should actually take the liberty of registering a “Vagina” numberplate. Then when these guys want it, I can auction it off for about 500k. I may as well register vagina 1-10 as well to make even more money

And with the money, spoil SLXS to a few competitions. That would be cool.

Anyway, if you do see the car, please do take a photo. But be quick…This gynae is very stealthy and gets away at top speed.

Sean Lloyd

Editor