I honestly thought I was going to DIE from hystericalness when I cruised into Pinelands today to visit Jakes Surf Shop. As soon as I walked in, there were just zimmer frames EVERYWHERE. And it smelled like cabbage? Gosh, it suddenly swung me back into time to June 2008 where I penned that AMAZING piece on the models in Pinelands. I still rate that as some of the best of SLXS, click here for that amazing article, and to be amazed at how awesome this website once was. We tend to forget this…and we also tend to forget what blogging was all about before people decided to turn it into a commercial money spinning thing. Keeping it low key at SLXS, since 2007.

ANYWAY.

So Jakes didn’t have an amazing selection of shorts, in fact, the ones shown here are the only ones I liked, from Quiksilver Quicksand. Ha, I bought them thinking ‘Jeez that’s cheap for Quiksilver’, but only realised later they are in fact ‘Quicksand’ Interesting

WOW Sean your legs are huge, what gym program do you follow my china?

I actually ended up buying them, because? I’m a pleb and buy things on sale. I got these bad boys for R99, and they are 100% pure cotton. They have about three left, in sizes medium and large, so best you get there quick if you want to look as ugly as me. I always try and match things up in my posts, and so in the spirit of ‘99′, for R99, we are about to jam to some Jay Z:

Hey? How about that?!!

“I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol”

OH JIS chilling in Access Park and there by KC ma bru!

*awkward silence, cleans nails*

I don’t know why I added this photo, I just had it, so I used it

But yeah man, go check those shorts out, you don’t find those prices anymore, shorts are regularly appearing in the R500 range now.

Criminal I tell you.

So my girlfriend was trying on some stuff at Billabong in the V&A Waterfront (Hmmmmm what does V&A really mean…hmmmmm), and while I was standing there this utterly useless feeling washed over me. I was not being productive! MUST. INCREASE. PRODUCTIVITY! Well so all the nerds on Twitter will tell you…all day…how busy they are…and how well business is going.

WOW! That’s really great for you guys! You must be so much closer to owning a new iPad, and a new car, wow guys! That’s really great news, well done! Tools.

So to get some work out the way, I spotted the quintessential Hout Bay stoners pair of boardshorts, nicely out of the price range of a real stoner. Crisis, ol’ Bob would need another joint if he saw the prices Billabong were charging for these shorts. Which are made from old plastic bottles, which literally cost cents to buy. But the Billabong marketing machine saw an opportunity to plaster Bobs face onto some old plastic bottles and charge a premium for it. Aaaah nothing like the smell of corporates to kill what Bob lived for.

Sneaking the Docksides into the shot…nice!

Anyway my personal things aside…

These are a really sweet pair of board shorts! They’re Billabong, so you’re assured of the usual quality, but I just love the print on them, really cool. If I could just get past the fact that Billabong are seriously selling Bob Marleys face on recycled bottles, and charging R600 for them, I might have just bought them.

Grab them at Billabong in the V&A Waterfront.

So the basic fact is, I am an amazing individual!

So amazing that I get to spend a lot of my time meandering about town in various disguises and under various aliases for many reasons, business and absolute pleasure included. As such, I often find myself trying on a decadent range of clothing, some cheap, some expensive, some good quality, some crap quality. For every 50 pieces I try on though, I only probably buy one because I’m so specific about style, fit and price. They all need to be perfect. And so there are some things I don’t buy, but that are still really great items of clothing and I think you need to know about them. So I’m here as a substitute for you because either you don’t have the time or you simply don’t always spot the things I do. I am your Change Room Superhero!

First up, Esprit in Cavendish Square. Their t-shirts are killer, but don’t buy them because I do, and I don’t want to see someone else wearing the same t-shirt as me! I didn’t buy these AWESOME shorts though because they didn’t quite fit me right.

The check pattern is very stylish, it let’s people know that, yes, you don’t have a job that requires a suit. Yes, you can pleasure many woman at one time. Yes, you’re wealthy, but still down to earth. Yes, you’ll be out with the boys on Sunday playing golf. And yes I will wear boat shoes and these pants when I visit the office once a week. It shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and you know how to have a good time.

You see what woman think, just by looking at a pair of shorts? They read all sorts of funky stuff from your shorts. And I know this, how? Shiiiiiit son, I tap into my feminine side crazy styles to write these pieces for you!

They’re R450 from Esprit in Cavendish Square, and there is also an Esprit in the V&A Waterfront but I don’t know if they have these shorts in stock there.

Go got ‘em!