3 Comments Marketing yourself for 2010 in Cape Town

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 21 Sep 2009

A lot of people assume from the sort of content that I publish, that I’m not very intelligent. What? I’m like royalty in the journalism world after getting that journalism diploma! I promise you, I’ll show you guys. I’ll show you all, so we’re going to look at positive and effective ways at marketing for the 2010 World Cup. This is Sean Lloyd, and I’m bringing it! I’m taking this information from the Weekend Argus, from a headline “Brothels rife in Cape Town’s suburbs”


You see, I didn’t lie, we are talking about marketing yourself for 2010! Yourself being the operative word.

I guess I don’t really have a problem with brothels, not that it’s my scene in the slightest, but damn, if I were out of cash I’d sell myself for money, I don’t care! Ha ha…maybe…possibly…

This is quite a sneaky way to market a brothel because according to the Cape Argus article, these places are going under the guise of guest houses or respectable homes (*COUGH* — Cape Town madams and gimps *COUGH* Heard nothing) They say sex trade researchers (Awesome job — Sean) have identified 67 brothels across Cape Town which is believed to be a vast underestimate. No doubt!

This actually fits in perfectly, you see what I did there? No Doubts Don’t Speak, which fits in well with the brothel scene because no one speaks about it. And it’s pretty hard (Not to mention rude) to speak with a full mouth anyway.

Either I’m bulimic or telepathetic but something is going on with what I just said! I may even be a sidekick.

It’s interesting to note that the article states “This week, an alleged brothel in an upmarket part of Milnerton was exposed when neighbours spoke out about loud music, wild weekend parties and “strange men” frequenting the house.”

I can categorically state that there is no such thing as ‘an upmarket part of Milnerton’ This is completely false! (Apologies to our Milnerton readers, running on their neighbours wireless ADSL account. Love you guys.)

While it says brothels exist in Bellville, Parow, Table View, Plumstead, Durbanville, Claremont and Parklands, I’m pretty sure there are some in the upmarket suburbs of Cape Town.

It is well known that if you mingle in Cape Town long enough, you will in all likelihood be asked at one stage or another (Or is this just me?) if you want to make some good money. I’m actually being serious here, I was meeting with some guys about two years ago and I was asked if I wanted to work in an upmarket ‘massage parlour’

Well of course I’d love to have an eight ball shoved in my mouth while a gaggle of silverback apes proceed to shove pine cones up my ass!

So that was the last time I met with those guys, even though on the other matters business looked good, it would seems there was more ‘business’ I would need to do if I really wanted my money. But there are loads of stories around of weird parties happening, where it’s basically one big orgy. I know people who have walked into houses and it’s like one big pornfest! But these aren’t really brothels, I think we’d refer to these as upmarket swingers parties.

Cities can be SO weird sometimes!

So if you still haven’t found your niche market for 2010…someone say Heidi Fleiss!

Let’s look at what Fleiss looks like:


So don’t go into the business if you don’t want lazy eyes and hard equipment on your gums, damaging them and making you look like Heidi. Rest assured, she’s had more than just one white substance on those gums *Vomits*

She really has taking a proper hiding over the years, hasn’t she?


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seeing as though, this sex researcher has gotten this information, why dont you send him (hahaha) to the 5 finest brothels, see if he can take anything away from the experience and see if he can get any inside information to the more lesser known “guest houses” hahahaa

September 22 2009 13:18 pm Sean Lloyd Website

If I were him, I'd do it! "How was work today?"

"Had it's highs and lows. All in all, pretty hard day."

I'm nearly 100% certain that there are high class brothels in Camps Bay and those areas, running under the guise of guys arriving to clean the pool while the cougar sits at the pool, and the husband is raking in the cash at the office.

Loved the article. You are welcome to visit my site and take a sneak preview into this “elusive” world.

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