So my Gucci has run out, so has my Armani Code and both of my Hugo Boss fragrances which left me, last week, at nothing. Now if there is one thing that I battle to live without, it is a finely crafted fragrance. While I’ve bought my fair share of ‘commercial’ fragrances, I always like to try out something that no one else is using. Hugo Boss would classify as commercial in my books, while something more exclusive would maybe be Tom Ford, or just any fragrance that is not overly used by people. People my age tend to see something in a magazine, and they just buy it. I really take my time with fragrances, testing them on my skin, two per day because fragrances develop differently on different people and you don’t want to confuse your nose, which is already confused by that cheap coke you’re using!

I’m quite a fan of unisex fragrances as I believe blurring the line between male and female is something quite awesome. It’s so sexy!

My theory on wearing a unisex fragrance, or even a milder female fragrance, is that it touches something in a woman’s brain that gives you an advantage. On a subconscious level, it puts woman at ease because they feel like they are around another woman and are more comfortable, rather than being surrounded by a Joburg ‘oke’ who’s been pumping iron China and spraying on Axe…or the new Ed Hardy fragrance. But I really think it’s true, that the fragrance you wear has a major effect on how people perceive you. Wearing something overpowering is never great especially if it’s a cheap store bought deodorant. I mean come now, that is not on!

In your life you’ll meet people and they will wear a certain fragrance, and you will come to associate that fragrance with them. That fragrance might bring back images and emotions of love, fun, carelessness, holidays and the like. There are a few womens fragrances, that no matter who wears them, they only remind me of one person who I originally associated that scent with. The power of fragrance, really is more powerful than you think which is why you’ll come to associate certain fragrances with certain people. Which is why you really should take your time to choose a scent that works well with you, not against you. A scent should develop with you and accentuate you. It should never overpower, it needs to work with you.

I’ve worn ck one and I’m a fan of that, and now I’m onto D&G 10. As Tom Ford says, 30% of people who wear Tom Ford Black Orchid are male, and it’s a female fragrance. Our perceptions on fragrances are based on past experience and essentially on society saying “This is male and this is female” Luckily the market is opening up and guys are more open to interpretation and willing to challenge their perceptions of what fragrances should and shouldn’t be. Obviously as a guy you don’t want to be wearing a rose garden, but you also don’t particularly need to be smelling like the Marlboro man.

D&G 10 is so phenomenal that I wonder what the ladies of the Mayan culture would have thought of it all those thousands of years ago? I tell you one thing, they’d erect temples in its honour! They’d probably build a life size statue of anyone who wore it. They’d make a bronze statue of my piece, no doubt. But would they have enough bronze? Did they have bronze? Can you have bronze?

I am a little worried, I won’t lie, in wearing this fragrance. It almost seems illegal to bottle romance, teenage desire, sex, money, a Robbie Williams concert, Tom Jones and then sell it to anyone with a couple hundred bucks. I mean the chicks are going to absolutely lose their minds when I wear this at Karma this Sunday. Wearing this is like clubbing baby seals, or importing slaves to start your own GAP label, it’s just too easy.

My parents certainly would not approve of me wearing this, because in their day they had to use natural charm, go on dinner dates, meet parents and only then would they even get a hint of a kiss. Well by simply spraying on some D&G 10, you go from book nerd to full blown porn star in like 10 minutes. No jokes! I honestly nearly handed myself over to the police when I bought this because I felt quite naughty. It’s a weird feeling, scoring with the opposite sex when you know you did nothing to deserve it, let’s be honest. Not that I’d complain, but I do still feel guilty.

It’s funny that after choosing this fragrance, I checked it out on the official website and…ha ha ha! It says this particular fragrance is for ‘The Player’ This is the exact description:

Inspiration

Personality: The Player

Adventurous and creative — the epitome of surprise — La Roue de la Fortune is governed by the roll of the dice. Its wearers are intrepid, experimental, players of life’s game.

Notes

A lavish tuberose, gardenia, and jasmine heart set aloft a benzoin and patchouli base. The heart of this fragrance is as feminine as it is opulent: a lush expanse of blooms that inspire only awe. The womanliness of this core brilliantly juxtaposes with the virile wood at its roots.

Well I have never! Don’t call me that, you make me feel naw-teeeee! I wouldn’t classify myself as a player, I can love as well.

I love lamp.

I love me.

I love PS3. But I’m not this shallow. I’m really not. I’ll talk to you, if you’re a 10.

OHMYGOD. Were you at Karma on Sunday night? I certainly do remember a line to wait in the line. I also recall arriving very late, after the close of the guest list (After sweating my left tit off at Goldfish at La Med), and simply having Mark breeze us in, no queues, no worries! Crisis it was mad in there, hot as hell but purely sexual. I’ve never has such a Sunday night. I do remember arriving with the American and more of the crew (Bev making an appearance, nice) and just doing some nice Zohan ‘disco disco’ grind on anything not bolted to the ground. God, I really need to behave.

Rather, my crotch needs to behave. It’s like one of those things you put salt and pepper into — it WANTS to grind. You.

But yeah, choose your fragrances carefully, and check these ones out, I also like them:

Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue

Dolce & Gabbana The One

ck one summer

Acqua Di Gio by Giorgio Armani

Gucci Pour Homme II

But try out everything, and see what works with you. It makes life so much easier when people fall in love with you just because what you’re wearing, no personality needed!

But I can’t love just one, I have to generate huge amounts of love to love all of you.

XOXO

Click here for the D&G fragrances website.