2 Comments The Musica Sale: Seduce Yourself Sexy

Article written by the brilliant Sean Lloyd on the 24 Sep 2009

I was mincing my way through Cavendish not really taking too much notice as to how I looked (You know how EVERYONE looks at their reflection on the glass at shopping centres, pretending to actually be looking at the clothes in the window, but touching their hair) when I was about to do the right thing and check my hair in the window, but then something more beautiful than thee caught thine eye!

And it was the Musica sale!

At that very moment, I heard girls screaming my name in hysterics, kids giggling…birds chirping…MILFS gurgling…wow, I guess I took it a little too far there, a little too soon?

But to be honest the Musica sale is like teenage desire…all over again! I know for a fact that it’s like sex in Musica right now, people are going mental. And at R70 a DVD, you should go mad! Take your clothes off, spritz some CK One, shave your balls, you get the picture. Wash, tone, moisturise. Is this making any sense to you?

Because if it is, well done you are the proud recipient of a crack addiction!

And that’s what’s happening on the New York Stock Exchange, crude oil is trading horribly.

Nothing to see here.

But I have picked up (Not an STD) some mind blowing DVD’s! My grandparents would have seen these at the bioscope, but I can just see them at home, such is the crazy life I lead. Check what I picked up:

Dirty Dancing, ja darling! Footloose? OHMYGOD!

Zoolander? To help me learn how to become professionally good looking for a career.

American Psycho…you have seen this haven’t you? I even threw in The Wrestler (Regular price) because it’s so damn awesome.


(Talking of Psycho’s, do you ever look on Facebook and see that the psycho chick/dude that you and all your friends avoid is listed as in a relationship. You go to look who psycho is now dating and think “Well he/she actually looks like quite a nice person” And you’re just wanting to warn them what they’re getting themselves into, but you can’t because you don’t know them. I’ve just seen this happen now. Heart breaking! Facebook should have an early warning system to avoid these tragedies, so as soon as you are listed in a relationship with someone it gives you a red, orange or green light. Green for this is a great person, you can date. Orange for, hook up with them, but don’t ever speak of a relationship. As soon as they become clingy, get out of there before they permanently attach themselves to you. Some refer to this as a FAD or a F’nD — F and Duck, and it rhymes!. Red — CODE RED. Abort mission)

American Psycho is an absolute classic, and while it is a little weird, it’s so weird that you simply cannot help laughing. Christian Bale running naked down a passageway with a chainsaw trying to kill someone? SO weird that I laughed!

The music in these films is absolutely classic as well, let’s look at some of the tracks that are played:

Zoolander — Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Beat It by Michael Jackson, Relax by Powerman 5000 and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham

American Psycho — Phil Collins, Lady In Red by Chris De Burgh, Huey Lewis And The News (Hip To Be Square), tremendous! The awesome thing on American Psycho is that they contrast violence with super chilled music, making it seem…well less violent.

Dirty Dancing — The Time Of My Life, Hungry Eyes and She’s Like The Wind.

Footloose — Footloose, Holding Out For A Hero, Waiting For A Girl Like You.

How crazy?!

I can only compare this to sleeping with Oprah Winfrey and Roseanne Barr…whoops! WRONG FANTASY! That’s the fantasy where someone dares me to try and end planet earth with one action.

But really now, there is absolutely no reason to be buying pirated DVD’s now (Other than the fact that it WILL break your karma in half) because at R70 each, it essentially costs you nothing. I worked out the other day that I pay R20 odd rand to hire a DVD, and I never ever get round to watching it on the day I hire it. In most cases, it takes me a few days to watch it, and then I want to rewatch it and the next thing you know it has cost me R100 to hire a DVD! So it makes sense buying them at R70, and I even buy the new releases at R150 becase it is well worth it.

It is also a fact that chicks dig guys with book and DVD collections. That fact was made up by me, but I’m sure it’s true.

It’s like “Wanna see my DVD’s…baby…”

“No Sean I don’t, because your DVD’s are in the corner of the room and NOBODY puts baby in the corner!”

Whaaaaa ha ha! Are you in the same frame of mind that I’m currently in? Because if you are you will know what it’s like to be off the hook.

I sometimes like to say off the hizzay, but that’s almost exclusively for when I’m rolling my NY Yankees cap, my Nike Dunk Low shoes and my bad ass attitude. Because…I’m…bad…ass…?

The entire point of this whole bit of ‘writing’ was to let you know that Musica are having a sale, and there are some crazy specials for DVD’s at R70.

If you want to know a little secret, they even have a Godfather Disc Box (Well it’s tin) for R330 or R350. That’s The Godfather Part 1,2 and 3. Buy that one!

My work here is done.

*Wipes hands on a cloth, like a mechanic would*

*Places shades back on*

*Puts hands in pants. Changes gear*

Who’s hungry?


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Mr Lloyd please leave the Kalk Bay cocaine alone.

September 25 2009 10:00 am Sean Lloyd Website

No longer will donkeys roam the shores of Tahiti!

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