My body is known to be an absolute temple, and I will use only the finest products on, and in it. So while I was sculpting my guns at the gym today, I remembered about something I needed to tell you. For the past few weeks, before and after gym, I have been using this gel which is for stiffness, soreness and painful muscles. So I rub it into my muscles (Razor cut abs) before gym, and after gym and it works a treat!

The only thing is, it’s actually not really made for humans, but I got it at the vet. It’s called Arnica Ice and it’s for horses, but seeing as though I’m like horse, I thought I could use the gel on my guns, abs etc when training.

It does say “For external animal use only” but you know, I sometimes just think that I’m raw power anyway.

Like on your box of cigarettes it says smoking will kill you, and you smoke anyway. And cane and cream soda will cause disease in the body, and it will make you sleep with randoms, but you drink it anyway. Basically this gel contains 1% arnica and 1% menthol and it’s absolutely divine (Joburg kugel) It also contains camphor and witch hazel.

So you rub it on and about 5 minutes later the spot where you have applied it feels ice cold. You could also get your girlfriend to rub it in, but make sure you don’t get too frisky. Seriously, if she starts playing with you while there is still this stuff on her hands, your piece will hurt. It will go ice cold, freeze and fall off. True story.

Anyway for any athletes out there, this stuff is amazing and I highly recommend it as a pre and post workout muscle rub. You don’t have to buy Arnica Ice for horses, you can also buy it at the pharmacies and it’s called “Ice Man” or “Herbal Ice” One of those. It’s essentially the same stuff. My 500 gram tub only cost like R45, which is quite awesome. It’s one of the few gels I have used that really works, and it relieves muscle stiffness quite well.

It’s cheap, it works, and it makes you look manly.

“What you doing over there son?”

“Rubbing horse pain relieving gel into my muscles. I did 1000 gun curls today, and this is the only stuff that works.”

Chicks dig it. Plus, I know you’ve been taking ketamine as a party drug anyway, so a bit of horse gel won’t hurt.

Sean Lloyd

Editor