5 Comments USN Oxygen H2O must be Spiced H20

Article written by the awesome Sean Lloyd on the 20 Jan 2009

I quickly nipped into the pharmacy the other day because there is this chick that I really, really like.

But when I like chicks a lot, I get a bit shy around them and never know if they like me or not.I decided to buy myself some Xanax to calm myself down.These nerves had me left with quite a thirst.

So I nipped to the fridge, grabbed a USN Spike (Spicy) and a bottle of water. So I’m chilling drinking the water outside the shop with a bag full of tranquilisers when I realise I have bought, for R5,50, a bottle of USN Oxygenated H20.

USN Oxygen H20

USN Oxygen Spice H20

“Jesus, what next?” I shouted.

“Sean, next you will date a really hot girl”

“No Jesus, not what is next in my life, but what next are the guys in marketing going to try to do to make us buy their products?”

“Oh sorry, I don’t do marketing Sean. I just deal in radness. Keep it real homie”

“Peace out J-Dog”

So a little squizz on the USN website brought this up:

“Research done in 1967 (Fucking recent – Sean) revealed that oxygen rich water decreases nitrates, increased oxygen levels and enhanced the body’s ability to remove toxins. Further studies also showed that oral oxygen is absorbed by diffusion and osmosis through the cells lining the”

And that’s where it ends. I kid you not. Click HERE to read up about USN Oxygen Water. They realise that they are spicing this story beyond belief, and just cut their losses and stop talking!

It says that oxygenated water contains a maximum 10,9mg of oxygen per litre. So you could drink one litre of water to receive 10,9mg of oxygen.

OR, my wise young men, women and Buddhas, you could simply open your mouth…breathe in…and be prepared to have a large one inserted into your mouth courtesy of this bit of knowledge, from Wikipedia:

Average human lung capacity is 4 to 6 litres.

Obviously with every breath we don’t breath in pure oxygen, but taking about 10-20 breaths per minute means we taking in between 40 and 120 litres of air every minute.

So I really don’t think 10,9 mg of oxygen, being absorbed through my stomach lining, is going to do me any good!

Not to mention the fact that bottled water travels hundreds of kilometres to get to us, wasting fuel, and then most of you don’t recycle the plastic bottles.

So stick to tap water, buy a water filter, and don’t believe everything that USN tell you.

They are quite a spicy bunch.

Sean Lloyd



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ClayOne Website Reply

Oh my sack .

Thats quality writing Sean.

Spotted a store in Langebaan trying to market that shit, my gues is next time im in Langebaan that store will not be there.

Sean Lloyd Website Reply

Ha ha, all I remember (Or don’t remember) from Langebaan is Flamingoes!

Shit son, it’s the only place that I’ve ever walked out of smelling of braai smoke, courtesy of a fire just pumping inside…

ClayOne Website Reply

All I remember from flamingoes is the sign that says R50 fine for chewing gum.That place is something else.

Sean Lloyd Website Reply

It’s a special brand of DNA that visits that place…but it’s something everyone has to do! A mate of mine visited and got a bottle smashed on his head, basically cutting his eye out…clean!

ClayOne Website Reply

All i can conjur up right now is … HOLY FUCK!

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