While many office workers get wheeled down to the operating theatre for triple bypass surgery, we at SLXS have decided to avoid this by just avoiding the economic recession altogether.

An office is all work, gloom and skanky office chicks who don’t get out enough.

At SLXS, it’s Successful Living, Xcess Sex! It’s all sun, fun and hot birds.

Here’s how to live like we do:

Do male grooming, but do it sexually

Hours and hours in the gym mean you want to show your cannons and pecs off. Waxing, shaving, it’s all not very Magnum PI or Chuck Norris. But sometimes it needs to be done.

Don’t book an appointment to get your chest waxed, instead get three angels around to your house to wax your chest!

How often do you get an angel holding your head up, one sitting on you, and another smearing hot wax on you? Does this happen at a regular office? Does this happen in a regular office lifestyle?

NO!

Exactly!

SLXS make even the most metrosexual activities sexual and AWESOME!

Shoot things like a real man

WORRIED about recessions 

With all the worries about the environment, we aren’t exactly going to go out and shoot a lion. But there are other things to shoot. Swimwear models!

Get a gun (Ours cost around R2500, but check out the sick scope), tear a swimwear model out of the SA Sports Illustrated Swimwear edition, and try shoot her in the box. Or the nipples. Either way, it makes for much better target practice.

“Yeah dude I gave Gerda Marie Mare a shot in the pants today”

It also makes for much better and more interesting conversation.

Get chicks to play with the guns

Don’t allow girlfriends to actually handle a loaded gun, because inevitably they will shoot you and then take over all your bank accounts, take the house, the car and none of your buddies will get a thing. But do allow them to handle the gun.

Take proper care of your gun and put it back in its box… 

Insert a cigar into Megans mouth

“Well thank you Mr President”

“I did NOT have sexual relations with that women”

And remember, if none of this gets you any action whatsoever, eye drops work a charm. Especially on blonde angels.

And there we have it my loved ones, the essential guide to getting action, having fun and completely bypassing world collapse!

Hey?

The Nobel Peace Prize?

That’s really NOT necessary! Silly!

But thank you anyway, I shall mount it on my mantlepiece.

Sean Lloyd

Editor