Someone was telling me the other day about how spot on I am when it comes to trend hunting and just knowing what’s cool, rad and excessive in the world.

This is one of the many reasons why I started two websites a while back. You probably have not heard of them, one is Trend Hunter, and the other one is The Cool Hunter.

Yeah, they’re alright, probably not my best work though.

So let’s just catch something that is popular overseas but not quite so well known here.

It’s something called dry or raw denim and you won’t find it at any regular store. Dry denim is completely untreated and unwashed denim. The denim is dyed, and no water or chemicals touch it afterwards. The jeans are presented raw and it is up to you, the wearer, to give them character and wear lines.

There are no pathetic, fake wear lines on them and each pair will wear to it’s owner, based on the things they do, the lifestyles they lead and the people they bang.

Many people mistake dry denim with a regular pair of denims, such as your standard, non worn Levi 501’s. While these denims might seem as though nothing has touched them and they are raw, they are not. You can have a pair of 501’s forever and they won’t wear like a proper pair of dry denim jeans.

At the moment dry denim is not quite popular amongst the South African crowd but I think it will gain momentum. I think the main thing is our modern day culture of quick satisfaction. We want everything now, and will pay for someone in a factory to sand our jeans down and add chemicals to them to achieve the worn in, vintage look.

But a small crowd of enthusiasts are tired of wearing a pair of jeans that look exactly the same as the other person in the club. They want their jeans to reflect their personal life and are opting to buy dry denim, and wear it in themselves.

Dry denim is a process and for the first six months (If you wear your jeans every day) you are not allowed to wash them. If you wear them less frequently, you wont be able to wash them for longer. Some say dry denim should never be washed, just aired. I’m part of that crowd.

The longer you leave them before you wash them, the better they will look.

If you are looking for dry denim in Cape Town, the best place to look is Loading Bay in Hudson Street (Click HERE) or Fabiani (Click HERE)

Loading Bay offer the Blue Blood brand of dry denim, while Fabiani carry the sought after G-Star Raw range, the ones which I’m currently sporting. JP of The Loading Bay in Cape Town has recently launched a stand alone BlueBlood store in Cape Town, sitauted at Shop 104, Riebeeck Square, Bree Street, Cape Town.

Raw denim not only reflect your lifestyle, but they are kinder to the environment because no extra chemicals are used to age the denim, and you also very rarely (If ever) wash them.

You all know that at SLXS I don’t recommend anything that I have not personally tested and approved, and once again I will not let you down. I’m telling you now that buying a pair of proper dry denim jeans will completely change your life. You will never buy another pair of denim jeans again. They are expensive, but then again, so is cocaine.

You’re looking at dropping at least R2000 on a pair, but it goes right up to around R5000 for a pair of true dry denims. But look at it this way:

If you only wear your jeans once in your lifetime, they will have cost R5000 to wear. Wear them twice and they have only then cost R2500 for each time that you have worn them. Wear them for only a year and they have only cost you R13 to wear them each time! And who only wears a pair of denim jeans 365 times? No one! We all wear our jeans more than that.

Pair your dry denims with a pair of Converse All Star High Tops (Around R300 - R350 at most stores. Got mine at Street Fever in Canal Walk), and a black or white t-shirt and you’re all set to rock out.

One of the best resources on the internet to check out how dry denim wears in is MyNudies. Nudies are a brand of dry denim, and were once available at Woolworths in Cape Town, but no longer. The type of wear on your dry denims is also affected by what you keep in your pockets,so you will see noticeable fading around wallets and cellphones, such as this photo I found:

Dry denim jeans are only available from the finest stores in Cape Town. Try Fabiani and Blue Blood. The G-Star Raw range of denims from Fabiani kick a serious amount of ass, and I’d recommend them.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

You know, the one moment Doos van der Westhuizen is getting fingered (As our “journalists” like to say) in a sex tape with some crack loving 4-foot tall, one armed Yemenese jizz-slut (I might have mixed the details up here with another sotry I was reading) and the next they are mentioning anal in the pages.

Well shatter my nerves!

So there’s this article today entitled “Lawyer charges client for extra sex” It goes like this:

A married advocate who had an affair with a client charged her 250 pounds an hour for the time he spent having sex with her; it was claimed in The Sun newspaper in London this week.

High-flying Marc Beaumont, 46, enjoyed secret love trysts with fellow attorney Anal Sheikh, 48, according to legal papers.

Christ, it’s TOO funny!

I think I know what’s going on though, this Anal Sheikh is a spiced name! I mean come now…ANAL SHEIKH.

Anal as in sexy times, and Sheikh as in “baron, master, tycoon” I’m pretty sure they called people with oil wealth “oil Sheikhs” I read that somewhere.

So this chick obviously likes to take it up the ass (Not a bad thing really) and she obviously enjoys it, paying 25o pounds for it. This is in London though and as usual, London has absolutely nothing on Cape Town!

You’ll enjoy this story, and you will probably know about it already if you mix in high society (Cough…cough…):

It was in Noseweek, November 2008, all facts as according to Noseweek article. Enjoy the front cover headline:

Fist, finger, touch, lick…

The Irelands: Also like to avoid recessions

Stuart and Sylvia Ireland were the characters in the story. Stuart is the countries sole distributor for all the most famous perfume brands in South Africa, including Chanel, Dior, Issey Miyake, Lacoste and Jean Paul Gaultier. Pimping in a Bentley Continental GT costing around R3 million, Stuart is chilled. His wife Sylvia regularly spent R1 million per month on clothing and her excess lifestyle. Her hair cost between R20000 and R30000 per month. They owed Callaghan in Cavendish Square R1,5 million, Lulu Tan Tan in the V&A Waterfront R342000 and Jimmy Choo R664000. That’s not bad going, and they were living the dream.

So anyway, Sylvias starts seeing this psychiatrist to sort whatever out in her life, and Stuart is paying R2000 a week for her to see this dude.

She ends up sleeping with the psychiatrist. Stuart is paying R2000 per week for his wife to have sex with the psychiatrist.

Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Ha ha ha heeeeeeeeeeeeee hooooooooooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaa!

Those of you accustomed to the SLXS way of living won’t find this story spicy enough. So I’ll hit you up again bitch!

Enjoy this. The psychiatrist, Dr Berard and his business partner, Michael Edwards, get appointed directors of Prestige Cosmetics.

Stuart Ireland’s company is Prestige Cosmetics.

Stuart is paying R2000 a week for the psychiatrist to bone his wife, and then just sommer appoints him director of his company.

Oh come now, put an angle grinder to my cock! Tie my nutsack down! This is just too hysterical for words! But you know what, that’s what I love about Cape Town. You can pretty much do as you please because there is just money everywhere. While most people battle to find money around the world, Cape Town finds itself so excessive that people offload money onto people just so that these people can bang their wife. It’s all happening! Where else in the world do you find this?

Love you Cape Town. xxx

Sean Lloyd

Editor

So we’re chilling at Nood Bar in Claremont (Below The Quadrant apartments, where J, Kate and Jo reside) on Saturday night when I start chatting to Gareth and saying “You know G-Dog, have you heard of a recession?”

He looks at me like I’ve just kicked a puppy in the head, completely bewildered, and even confused as to what I have said to him.

“Dude, I don’t understand the question” He says, sipping on his drink, and pondering how to snare the cougar eye fucking us from across the bar, in full view of her “husband”

“Sweet” I replied.

“Now let’s get some Pussy” I followed up.

And then we invented it. Sitting at Nood Bar on a Saturday night the SLXS crew invented a new drink.

FUCK

THE

RECESSION

It’s called the Blue Pussy and comes in at a recession wanking R307. This Pussy is unlike anything you have ever had in your life. It’s only R27. And it’s cold, which is very unusual.

As one of our famed crew members, Marcel, said, talking of the contrast of mixing an energy drink and a high end whisky:

“Blue Pussy is like getting a Kenilworth Main Road hooker and then having sex with her at the Mount Nelson”

Ha! So here is how you get your own Blue Pussy. You go to Nood Bar, and ask for a double Johnnie Walker Blue and a can of Pussy. Then simply mix them together. I tell you what, that drink is a complete mind fuck. There is something comforting about drinking a drinky drink that says the following:

• Fuck the poor

• Fuck the recession

• Fuck you if you don’t live our lifestyle.

Arrogant? Perhaps.

Shallow? Of course.

Superficial? You bet!

The absolute hilarity of ordering a Blue Pussy at a Nood Bar is in fact too much to comprehend and you will absolutely love it! I mean, come now, who is excessive enough to actually order two shots of booze at R140 each, and then mix it with an energy drink? I guess it’s just G-Dogs way of completely bypassing the recession. People often ask us “How do you guys avoid the recession?”

And we avoid it with R307 drinks. Then they ask “But how do you afford it?”

Babes, don’t worry how we afford it, just think good things and good things will come to you. That’s what we do, we think good things and they come to us.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I walked into the Apple store today to get an armband, and instead got raped.

Which is quite a novel idea!

Clearly not really giving a toss about guys like Bernie Madoff, and everyone else who is taking a beating from this recession, they thought it would be cool to charge me R470 for an armband. Now I don’t really give a shit about money, because I’ve been pissing it and growing it in my garden for years now. but there are friends of mine…proper drug addicts…who could get so much more stuff from R470. Well not when they do coke, but when they do tik. They could be tikking for ages on R470.

Your standard R470 note

More specifically, and totally losing my train of though, and wondering why the clown has no penis, you can get a 1GB iPod Nano for R650. Now to me a nano has more “stuff” in it than just an armband.

I’m going to court, and I will, and I’m sueing Steve Jobs for rape, because R470 is basically rape for an armband just so I can listen to music while running up the Alphen Trail in Constantia at 8pm at night, where more rape awaits me.

It’s all happening at the moment, and I’m getting abused. So that’s the vibe for today, Apple have completely ignored the recession, and my cries of help while I get bend over and taken from behind everytime I want to buy an accessory. Dildos are cheaper than those armbands. Coke, crack, whores — all the good stuff — it’s all cheaper!

I’m just saying…

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I receive the biggest crock of shit sometimes, and I don’t know how to respond, so I usually don’t. Anyway, I received this from Songezo:

Yeah I can’t read that either. But enjoy how it says “Confidential” Not anymore!

“Dear Sir/ Madam I am a student at the Cape Peninsula University of Technology (CPUT) , I am doing mechanical Engineering sencond (His spelling) Year. We have been given a project to do, about submarine. I would like to come to your company to make an interview, about submarine”

And that’s it, no sign off, nothing!

I mean come now, for fook sakes!

Firstly, do I look like I motherfucking deal in submarines? Do I? Do I?

I don’t think so!

Secondly, what made you think I deal in submarines? I don’t recall anything about SLXS being about submarines. It’s about successful living, yes, it’s about excess sex, yes, but not submarines.

Unless of course you click HERE, you will find two articles mentioning submarines.

So good luck on the engineering degree, I’m sure you’ll do well.

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Once again, South Africa is proving to be the dream destination for not only leisure travellers, but sports teams and fans alike. Check this out…cough cough…Cape Town are hosting the opening of the Indian Premier League, at our very own Newlands.

Do you realise how big this is? I do and it’s massive!

The Twenty20 competition was moved out of India for security reasons. Enjoy that England were also considered as an alternative venue for the competition but I think the clashing of Pasty Poms and the Indian crooners would be too much. Not to mention the shit weather in England, the shit economy, people like Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Boris Johnson.It’s basically a given that South Africa would be the only other place in the world to host such a prestigious event. The IPL starts in South Africa on the 18th of April.

It’s funny that people leave South Africa for other shores, but when we look at the best events in the world, they are hosted in South Africa.

2010 Soccer World Cup? South Africa!

Indian Premier League 2009? South Africa!

Lions Rugby Tour 2009? South Africa!

Incidentally I found some SICK Lions Rugby tour packages over at our buddies SA Sport Travel.

Ranging from 6 day too 38 day luxury tour packages, it’s going to be mental!

If you’re interested in having ALL of your tickets, accomodation and travel fixtures taken care of, then click SA SPORT TRAVEL and have a see what is on offer.

It’s all happening right now!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I had heard of this a while ago, but I forgot about in an acid induced haze somewhere along the railway line on the way to Kalk Bay to shoot pictures of the Gypsy living in the caravan in the parking lot outside the fish shop.

But when I received my latest GQ (April 2009) I was once again reminded that paying for sex can be legal! his is kind of cool though, you know…if that’s your thing or more importantly if you need it.

It’s called Sex Surrogate Therapy. Whatever problems you may have can be taken care of through a sex surrogate therapist. So if your problem is blowing your load too early after penetating the deer, or Llama or child if you’re Michael Jackson (Anyone realise the ingenuity of his surname? JACK-SON. JACK as in JACK OFF. SON as in little boy. Genius!) then a sex surrogate therapist is the answer!

So basically the surrogate stands in as your partner, and teaches you shit that you need to know. But the thing is, what if she’s like really hot? I’d just keep buggering up the lessons, never learning my lesson.

Being a naughty learner. Not doing my homework.

This would prompt her to spank me. I’d keep on neglecting my homework, and keep going back to my teacher. We’d probably fall in love.

I’d have to eventually let her know that I’m boning Ana Beatriz Barros. Then I’d let my therapist know that Ana wants it up the ass and I’m scared.

We would have to practise this as well.

JESUS!

Where did that sneaky one come from?

Due apologies to old people and young kids alike.

Ana Beatriz Barros…awaiting my piece

I’m just saying, sex surrogate therapy sounds like such a vibe. All your single mates would be going to classes before going out to party at night. They’d come across to chicks as far more relaxed. Chicks dig relaxed guys. They’d end up coming right twice that night.

Sick!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I love being a guy, because I can have a bender of a night, wake up looking like shit, walk to the corner cafe smelling of booze and cigarettes, be overweight and have no money in my bank account and yet STILL feel like a million bucks! If this happened to a chick they would kill themselves. This little story explains why Madonna does not pull off the following Louis Vuitton ad in any decent way:

NO!

She just looks old and siff, and women can’t let this happen. That’s why guys ditch their wives for younger models, because we have standards to uphold.

Now having said this, Keith Richards can have leather for skin, steel wool for hair and he still pulls off Louis Vuitton in an undeniable rock fashion.

YES!

It is one of the benefits of being a guy, that we can abuse ourselves and still be cool. Madonna exercises loads and still can’t be rad at her age.

Ha ha…it’s good to be a guy… (A vain, shallow and superficial guy)

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Oh my God doll, this stuff is too gorgeous for words and you are going to absolutely plutz when you see it!

It’s cling wrap, or Glad Wrap and it’s tinted. I don’t know what colour this actually is:

Puce cock wrap

Rouge?

Pink?

Salmon?

Puce? (No not POES)

Whatever it is, it is sure to spice up any dish with it’s decidedly camp styling. I’m thrilled by it. It is quite gay, but not quite as gay as the amount of beauty products my beauty cabinet currently sports. It’s even gayer-er-er when you wrap it on your cock, smear it with peanut butter and let the happy ending begin!

Oh well, such is the high rolling lifestyle!

I got mine from Pick ‘n Pay, and on the way out the store I nearly got ass raped.

I know, crazy!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I’ll be completely honest, I don’t ever read the news and I didn’t read it in college. My journalism lecturers would constantly remind me to read the papers because I knew absolute shit about the world. And I still don’t to an extent. I couldn’t tell you anything about Bob Mugabe, Julius Malema (Spelling?) and whoever else is playing the fool.

I just don’t like bad news as it takes a certain sparkle off my life and my humour. All newspapers the world over carry bad news and it’s not my scene, and that’s why I only read a select few things (Probably 4 South African blogs and nothing else)

When I read bad news I get sad. When I’m sad my writing is shit and it hurts me!

Which is why I gravitate to the funny stuff in life. “My booky wook” by Russell Brand is a class example!

Just putting on my serious face babes…

For those of you unaware, Russell Brand is the comedian with the big hair, let’s take a look:

He’s the uterly hilarious guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, who could ever forget him:

“I’ve lost a shoe…have you seen it anywhere? Excuse me, missus, I’ve lost a shoe…like this one. It’s like this one’s fellow…it’s sort of the exact opposite in fact of that - not an evil version, but just, you know, a shoe like this…but for the other foot.  Otherwise I’d have two right…”

Sheer brilliance, told in his classic British voice and humour!

You’ll also remember him as the guy who pulled the telephone sex prank on the dude from Fawlty Towers, Andrew Sachs. Read more HERE.

Anyway I’ve been reading his book and it’s going to be right up your alley.

It docments his early days and how his dad used to have all these loads of porn that he would watch, how an extra lessons teacher stuck his finger up his arse, his addiction to sex, drugs and alcohol (All true) and his experience with heroine. The guy is basically a walking mircle and shit funny to boot.

When your book is called “My booky wook” and it starts off like this, then you are awesome:

“On the morning of April Fools’ Day, 2005, I woke up in a sexual addiction treatment centre in a suburb of Philadelphia. As I limped out of the drab dog’s bed in which I was expected to sleep for the next thirty wankless nights, I observed the previous incumbent had left a thread of unravelled dental floss by the pillow - most likely as a noose for his poor, famished dinkle”

And that’s only the first two sentences! It gets better literally by the page until you are rolloing around laughing like you are Gatiep on tik!

It’s highly recommended by me, the SLXS stamp of approval.

Get it at your nearest Exclusive Books, or HERE on Kalahari.net

Sean Lloyd

Editor