Look, Woolworths and other stores don’t let you test some things either. You can’t try on underwear, but that’s understandable. You can’t drink their booze before you buy it. That’s understandable.

But Incredible Connection take things to the next level by not allowing you to test headphones that cost over R2000. I was just browsing some headphones yesterday and I don’t know why, but I walked into Incredible Connection. You know, it’s like walking into a damn crime scene. Guys in blue shirts and shit. Descending on you wanting to know everything about you. Can we help you? What do you need? What do you want? What can we make you want? Hows your mom? Like they really want to help you. Or just sign their name on whatever they sell you so they get commission. Making bank! Bustin’ dolla!

I was looking at the Beats by Dr Dre Solo (To be honest, I’ll probably end up getting Bose or Sennheiser anyway) and asked to try them out, because obviously with something designed to deliver sound, you naturally want to hear the sound. We’re not asking miracles here, we’re asking to listen to a song.

So Inspector Clouseau in his blue shirt told me that I can’t actually try them on. Why?

Your typical Incredible Connection store assistant

“For hygienic reasons”

Like I shit out my ears. Piss out my skull. Have sex with my ears.

I asked to look at them. No, they can’t even take them out the box. I have to look at the box, and then make a decision to drop 2k, based on holding, touching and looking at a picture on a cardboard box. What happened to having tester sets? Like testing cars, or perfumes. What happened to this? Has the recession taken such a hold?

Not that I’m too stressed, Incredible Connection hardly have an incredible reputation.

But yeah, thought I’d let you know that you absolutely cannot test out Beats by Dr Dre at Incredible Connection.

Incredible Aching Balls

Who do you think you are, Tiesto?