Sometimes I get SO bleak with myself! I was at a buddies apartment a while back and we were filming a piece for a Sony TV ad. Well it wasn’t actually for Sony, we were just doing it for ourselves as a joke after seeing an advert on television. But don’t worry, we’ll get into filming it again (We wrote over the copy…clever)

So what’s happening, is that the new Sony Bravia’s are completely losing the plot in that they are not very stoner friendly. They are going to claim to be eco-friendly, but I think neglecting the pot smoking sector of society is very unkind to the environment. It is well known that stoners are the saviours of the world for a few reasons:

They hardly shower, saving water.

They don’t give a shit what they look like, so they don’t buy into the vanity industry, thus saving resources.

They’ll happily live off the land, smoking pot, eating mango’s and coconuts on the beach and surfing. Ask any stoner about Tortola and they’ll just smile

They wear hemp everything, and never wear shoes.

They don’t own cars.

All of this points to Al Gore basically jizzing in his pants over the environmental credentials of stoners. This will relate to another article I’m busy on, on why legalizing weed will cause the world economy to crash. No jokes, it’s true, I’m a genius writer, you’ll see. I’ll show you Al Gore!

Now some of you may think I have loads of experience with the herb, but I don’t at all.

*The sound of kids giggling is heard in the background*

*I return. Breaking a light sweat*

Ahem…*My voice has gone high pitched*…AHEM…Ok that’s better.

But the new range of environmentally friendly Sony TV’s are discriminating against stoners, and *gasp* fat people.

You see, they’re now fitted with motion sensors, so when they don’t detect motion, they automatically turn off. Now I’ve been told that after hitting a bong (Kid), and watching Grandmas Boy or The Hangover, you get fairly paralytic. So if you’re not moving, the TV is very likely to turn off. The problem is that fat people who don’t move ever, will surely be suing the television makers. It will turn off, they will have to move to grab the remote or get to the TV, they’ll twist an ankle and then sue for damages.

So Sony are not only actually destroying the environment with this new TV, they are trying to kill fat people.

OMG I’m hysterical, this is terrible!

Come on fat Americans, start getting your lawsuits ready!