There is a whole vibe going on over at Sky News today about the threat of their bee population dying off (HERE), in particular because bees pollinate so much of the food we eat, namely fruit and vegetables. While I can see this being a problem in South Africa, and Cape Town in particular, I can’t see it being much of a problem in Britain.

Because clearly no one eats a single fruit or vegetable in Britain! There is even an article (HERE) entitled “Are British women fat and unkempt? This American man says so” He says they’re overweight, unkempt and lazy about grooming. Whhhhaaaaaa ha ha! Now this is not really the case in Cape Town. I just took a completely random photo from the J&B Met in Cape Town a couple of years ago and posted it here:

Toit

What, you want a close up?

No sis man! I’m not that type of person. Ok if you INSIST that I must be that type of person. Naughty naughty.

BAKING

That’s clearly some fruit and veg(Not to be confused with vag, keep your eye on the ball…ummm…whatever) going on there. Now that is what the average Cape Town chick looks like. Her bum looks like that of a 12 year old. And when I say average, this is what most Cape Town chicks look like. We sometimes forget how lucky we are in Cape Town, and take these sorts of bums for granted. Come on, admit it, we all do. We have a girlfriend with a bum like this, and yet we insist on an upgrade. We’re too comfortable around this sort of talent.

And then in Britain this is the average bird on her wedding (Pudding) day.

She looked in the mirror that day and honestly believed she looked stunning. The power of the mind!

And so I really don’t see the whole problem of the bees dying off in Britain, because clearly British chicks don’t eat the food that bees pollinate. And we should hope to God that none of the British blokes pollinate these British Pork Pies.

Sean Lloyd

Editor