Ladies ladies. I’ll have you know that I was at Chevelle on Friday and saw some chicka-dee wearing a long shirt, which would seem somewhat of a ‘trend’ We’ll explain it with Anne Hathaway, who whilst pale, still ignites something in me sometimes. Sort of like a fire, deep within my loins:

Anne, thinking of me, again

Now the character on Friday at Chevelle was actually not wearing any pants (No jokes), she was just wearing underwear and her pants had been stuffed in her bag. Now while all the other males were gawking at her which was quite pathetic, I was doing a brain scan of my own brain and trying to locate the fashion sector of said brain. And by George, I did! It occurred to me that we were dealing with a fashion trend. While other guys were looking at the rack, I was thinking of a clothes rack. While they looked at the lines, I looked at the cut lines.

Serious!

And so it came to be that I thought it pertinent to mention to all the Cape Town girls that I think the long shirt thing is going to look good on all of you. Look, I’ll also look good on you, but first let’s work off the winter pies shall we? I can’t be seen dealing with the general riff-raff, readers have come to trust the disgusting standards I have set and I shall keep them there. While most are in favour of the ridiculous “Say no to size zero”, I’m still of the old guard. Size zero? Bring it! Everyone loves a Kate Moss, well back in the day anyway.

So let’s go with that look, I like it. I don’t even need to mention the fact that you need a smoking hot body to pull this off, otherwise you might look, let’s say, a little on the wide side. And if you’re on the wide side, you’re offside in Cape Town!

Prrrrrrrt! RED CARD! Out of Cape Town! Crash BOOM bang!