I run a fair amount at the moment, and one thing I hate more a drunk chick vomiting on me are those ridiculous outfits that runners wear, namely those dental floss vests and “polly shorts”, the shorts that show your nutsack to the world. I actually have a pair of CapeStorm running shorts which are short, but offer a good length. The only problem is this story:

I’m running two weeks ago, and I was getting hideous stares from people which was weird because I wasn’t running with a hard on. Kids were skeefing me out, moms were pulling their kids out of my way and chicks were laughing (Oh my GOD he’s huge) I honestly had no idea why I was getting weird vibes, because I was throwing out happy vibes.

I then realised that with every step…there is no other way to say this…my machine was bouncing up and down and everyone could see.

*Naughty giggle*

So that’s pretty messed up. Eight year old kids saw my Ron Jeremy. Not ideal.

Anyway I walked home after that pretending I had pulled a hammie. Then I remembered that chick from 91 and nearly busted a wood, so luckily my shorts had a waist band. But then it’s a pity the wind was blowing into me. Too embarrassing to even think of again.

So I drove straight to Lillywhites in the V&A Waterfront and bought a pair of Nike Pro compression shorts. They’re essentially like cycling shorts, without the padding and are fantastic for wearing under regular shorts for running. Because you can’t wear regular boxers or underwear, because you’ll chafe like a mo-fo. The Nike Pro Compression Shorts are a super comfortable fit with no chafing seams, they’re made of Nike’s Dri-Fit material and they look awesome. Dri-Fit dries quickly which is essential because this keeps the skin dry and prevents chafing and uncomfortable skin.

That’s me modeling them

The Nike Pro Compression Shorts are perfect if you like to wear baggier shorts for running, but need a comfortable under garment. I run 10km’s in these with no problems. I’m also wearing other Nike running shorts, which we will speak about next time. And they will be cool to wear as underwear to the beach, with just a hint of the words “Nike Pro” showing, which let’s chicks know you’re fit and able. TO BANG!

Get Nike Pro Compression Shorts at all major sports stores in Cape Town, mine are from Lillywhites at the V&A Waterfront. Also check out the new Nike Store at Canal Walk in Cape Town. And this is some skin to show you what the Nike Pro compression shorts look like on me, to increase the female readership:

Ja I use OMO hey

What? Nike Pro Compression shorts

Where? Lilywhites, V&A Waterfrint, Cape Town.

Price? R260 (Don’t worry, the recession is a hoax)

Sean Lloyd

Editor