I walked into the Apple store today to get an armband, and instead got raped.

Which is quite a novel idea!

Clearly not really giving a toss about guys like Bernie Madoff, and everyone else who is taking a beating from this recession, they thought it would be cool to charge me R470 for an armband. Now I don’t really give a shit about money, because I’ve been pissing it and growing it in my garden for years now. but there are friends of mine…proper drug addicts…who could get so much more stuff from R470. Well not when they do coke, but when they do tik. They could be tikking for ages on R470.

Your standard R470 note

More specifically, and totally losing my train of though, and wondering why the clown has no penis, you can get a 1GB iPod Nano for R650. Now to me a nano has more “stuff” in it than just an armband.

I’m going to court, and I will, and I’m sueing Steve Jobs for rape, because R470 is basically rape for an armband just so I can listen to music while running up the Alphen Trail in Constantia at 8pm at night, where more rape awaits me.

It’s all happening at the moment, and I’m getting abused. So that’s the vibe for today, Apple have completely ignored the recession, and my cries of help while I get bend over and taken from behind everytime I want to buy an accessory. Dildos are cheaper than those armbands. Coke, crack, whores — all the good stuff — it’s all cheaper!

I’m just saying…

Sean Lloyd

Editor