While on my goodwill ambassador mission to the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town with the Rolls Royce engineers, I spotted Tweetie. Just chilling at the docks, next to the dry dock near the Cape Grace Hotel. I mean I would have thought this is a little out of Tweeties natural habitat.

Enjoy Tweetie chilling in the back

I just kind of wonder about the stability of people like this. I mean, it’s cool if Tweetie is your vibe, and you dig it, but to get a Hyundai, in yellow, with “Tweetie - WP”, with an actual Tweetie in the back windscreen and on the front window may be pushing it a touch.

Either this is really weird, or it’s just too cool for me to actually realise how cool it is. Mind you, the car is from Hyundai in Belville. Goes a long way in explaining the situation. The Ville. Belville Bomber.

I’m not quite sure yet what I think about it. I really have taken so much Valium, Prozac and Oxycontin today that I actually can’t feel anything. Like literally, I cannot feel my body. I’m smashing the keyboard so hard that buttons are just breaking off.

Better not give myself a handski.

“Kate!”

“A hand around?”

“Yeah bee-atch, do you really think I employed you as a house servicer to actually clean the house? Are you on crack? And by the way Kate, you must end off every sentence with ‘Your Royalty’ ”

“Yes Your Royalty”

“Thanks cracker. Why don’t you scuttle along and get Your Royalty a gin and tonic. And a slice of lemon. And stir it counter clockwise!”

The shit I have to put up with in my life.

Sean Lloyd

Editor