I recently discovered The Google inside The Internet Machine and it’s absolutely amazing! I was searching fairly simple things like Midget Porn, Circus Freaks and Ron Jeremy when I decided to put this so called “search engine” to use.

And the results were admirable!

I searched for carlucci’s in rondebosch and came across a little piece on a webplot called My Rondebosch if you click here. It contains this pearler, and I quote:

“Sounds delicious, and if the comment from our waiter - that carlucci’s is already turning over three times more in a day than Blake’s did - is anything to go by, then owner Ian Williams is sure to make a success of it”

Sweet mother of God.

If carlucci’s is turning over three times as much in a day than Blake’s did, all I can say is Blake’s must have been SUPER KAK! Or alternatively, Blake’s were turning out between 5 and 6 customers a day.

Or al-alternatively, the reason they are turning over so much more is because you literally need to pay in Jesus Christ for a chicken sambo!

And besides, carlucci’s don’t even have a website. If they were half decent, they would have a website. It’s like any chick in Cape Town who tells you “Well actually I’m a model, and an actress, but I’m just not working at the moment, taking a bit of time off from the industry”

How funny is it that they refer to it as THE INDUSTRY?! As thought it’s the only industry that keeps the coreolis (Spelling?) effect of the earth going! BULLSHIT! If you were any decent you would be modeling in New York, or you would be in Cape Town with loads of work, or you would be acting in LA.

I’m struggling to get my head around all of this on a Monday morning.

Sean Lloyd

Editor