I’m not afraid to admit that I probably spend more time on my hair than your girlfriend does. Or than you if you are in fact a lady. It’s just that…it’s the only thing I have going for me. My looks faded after doing an advert for The Cape Argus (True story) and my modelling career went down the tubes. The dreams of Paris, Milan and Gucci were swept away. Anyway now I draw attention to my hair, but I would not do this if I was using R30 gel from Pick ‘n Pay.

I always go for the premium range and I’m quite friendly with Redken, Tigi, Joico and all the rest of the crew.

So I walk into the hair stylist the other day and I’m browsing around when a lady comes up behind me ( Ooooooh…naughty naughty) and says:

“Can I help you sir?”

I slowly turn around and realise it’s the same girl who always helps me. Embarrassing.

“Oh it’s you again weren’t you here the other day?”

“I was yes but I now got my haircut and I need a stronger hair wax. Maybe something like a paste”

“You buy a lot here!”

“Yeah well you see I’m actually kind of addicted to hair products and my hair. You know like some people have a sex addiction? Well I would have a sex addiction of it weren’t so difficult to get hold of sex. Hair products on the other hand can be picked up every day”

“Right” she mumbled.

“Have you got American Crew products?”

“No, no one in Cape Town stocks American Crew anymore.”

This was of no help to me. This is my city and I want American Crew! No I NEED American Crew.

So I left and then I remembered getting an e-mail previously from a guy called Wayne praising my witty writing styles(That’s a lie, he didn’t e-mail me to tell me that)

I also remembered that he worked at Manology which is a male grooming store of sorts which is online.

A quick little search and I was onto American Crew Fiber quicker than Lance Armstrong onto an Olsen twin.

I was quite impressed to find such a quality online store in South Africa because I was not quite sure the male grooming thing was that big in South Africa that an online store would actually work. It’s now clear to me that we are quite into looking good which is nice. I like it and I’m sure chicks dig it. Actually I’m not sure chicks dig it, I haven’t really spoken to a real, live girl in a few months.

My restraining orders are expiring so I’m quite keen to start talking to girls again, probably by the middle of June. Unfortunately when people have blocked you on Facebook it’s hard to get them to accept you again and so I will probably start off chatting to the three girls I used to stalk. Obviously I won’t name names so Jacky, Kate and Melissa, your secret is safe with me.

Your photos are as well, on my hard drive.

Right…what was I saying? Ignore that previous bit of rambling I don’t even remember writing it but I’m sure some people are fascinated by my life and would like to hear it.

Soooooooooo…I saw that American Crew Fiber was available at Manology and quickly smashed an order through for the 100 gram tub. It’s not cheap but then neither are drugs. What?

American Crew Fiber is the product you have been looking for if you want strong hold with a matte finish. I dig it’s vibe and it keeps my tresses in order and calms my locks as well. The best way to use it though, because it’s quite a solid product, is to rub it between your hands before you use it. After that it’s green for GO GO GO!

I was expecting it to only arrive the following week as I placed my order on a Wednesday. Well you would not believe the feeling of excitement when I went to my P.O Box on Friday, only about 48 hours after ordering, and my Manology order was there! But the guys at Manology have their stuff sorted and also send you sample products with your orders.

I received a sample of oil free moisturiser from Baxter of California. Which is awesome because no longer do girls need to brush their delicate little hands across my rugged and chiselled cheek bones and think they are touching sandpaper. Winter is a harsh time and your skin will probably be looking like hell so it’s worth moisturising. Unless you don’t want any action in winter. Obviously it’s raining quite a lot lately so you don’t want to leave the house and some of you might be a little shy at buying moisturiser in the shops. Which is why you can order moisturisers HERE at Manology! I’m not shy at all and buy all sorts of stuff that makes me look like a chick. But when you need all the help you can get…you need all the help you can get!

My score rate is directly proportional to the amount of time and money I spend on grooming products such as face washes, scrubs, moisturisers and hair products.

I also received a little sample of Nickel “Eau Maximum” as it says in the delicate little bottle. It didn’t really suit me so I’m sticking to Gucci for the winter. I should mention again here that if you want chicks to go mental for you you should probably be using the Gucci I use (Click HERE for my fragrance choice). It doesn’t work for me but girls have said:

“You see that fat, short guy over there?”

“Yes” I say

“Well if he were wearing the Gucci you are wearing I would totally smash him in bed”

“And what about me?” I say sheepishly.

“No not a chance”

So that’s where my life is at at the moment. The guys at Manology also have that personal service vibe about them and my invoice came with a handwritten note saying “Enjoy your product. The Manology team” They also reply to your e-mails which is quite novel, considering some companies you e-mail and you hear nothing for weeks.

Manology have a whole range of things to make you a better looking person. It’s well known that better looking people do better in life. Mick Hucknall is a scientific mystery but hey…he probably moisturises. It’s true that a well groomed, clean looking and confident gentleman will always get the model girlfriend. Unless you’re in Hollywood where everyone seems to get the hot girl no matter what they look like.

A personality and a wicked sense of humour also works but unfortunately I can’t help you with that. What I can however do is send you over to MANOLOGY where they will groom you proper.

Then take a cruise to Camps Bay, park your Uno Fire on a back road, saunter into Caprice and go score that model.

You’ve earned it big guy.

Click MANOLOGY to be directed to the Manology website.

My pleasure.

Sean Lloyd

Editor