There have been many whispers in Cape Town of my work being very sparse this week, which it has. But that’s a given because I have been fending off chicks from Casa del Lloyd because they all want me! They want me because they want what they can’t have.

No…no…they can have me, make no mistake. But they can’t have my Bang & Olufsen!

One of the great things about SLXS is that we can do things that some other people can’t. We get things that cannot be gotted! (My English teacher would be crying at the use of language) Which is why I got my hands on a Bang & Olufsen Beomaster 1100 amplifier(Click HERE for link). Made between 1975 and 1978, it’s a chick magnet. Right now I could be getting so much ass, it’s a joke. Like boy band amounts of ass! But that’s not what I want right now.

Now now ladies…focus on the B&O and not my cycling sculpted calves. Naughty naughty!

Right now I want to be sitting by myself, playing around with my new B&O, playing Barry White, Rod Stewart, Robbie Williams and I want to cry. I want to cry until the amplifier short circuits! It’s the most beautiful thing in my life right now(Other than my cheese grater abs…but that’s a given)

It’s one of those things that you buy and then you have sleepless nights over. You know how you watch your girlfriend fall asleep?(This only happens if you love her though. If she’s a total bitch you probably never see her fall asleep because you are boys nighting it at the pub, wishing you had a new girlfriend)

Well anyway last night I watched the B&O fall asleep. Good grief it was emotional. I woke up this morning and wiped my tears off of it, and wished that I loved a person as much as I love my B&O. Funny enough if I drink enough, and ply myself with four sheets of acid, the B&O does start to feel like a girlfriend. It’s virtually maintenance free though, so it’s not really a girlfriend. Obviously it’s not a girlfriend either because it’s wood and metal, but it is warmer than a lot of girls in this city. You know the ice cold, trust fund baby kind. The B&O has a warm rosewood exterior and once it wakes up, it reaches a nice temperature, much warmer than some of the ice queens I have met in my life.

Where was I going with this? Oh yes, so this whole week has been filled with excitement as I have been pumping out the beats like Roger Goode would. Old lady Bernice(My 100 year old neighbour) nearly had a heart attack from the sound.

Unfortunately only nearly.

So that’s it really, I have in my hands a piece of the 70’s. Yes, those were the days. The days of hippie acid trips where my parents did not know what year it was, let alone their own names. The days before global warming and food riots. The days of tripping balls for days. Can you imagine what this B&O has seen in it’s lifetime? I rate some pretty crazy things!

I bet it’s even taken some narcotics itself.

I still dig it though. I’m taking it back to the very old school with this piece of equipment and no doubt my popularity(Which has been in the gutter of late) should shoot up a notch.

That puts me on notch 1.

Well it’s the weekend, which is easily identifiable by the smell of cheap booze and tik in the air. It’s going to be an absolute cracker this weekend, and don’t bend it too much, I still want to see you on Monday morning. I want to touch you. You want to touch me. We all want to get in a circle. Take our clothes off…

I must stop now, I’m losing the plot. I actually am losing the plot, I planned a mountain bike ride today, the coldest day of the week. I’m going to go lycra up and saddle up, wish me luck.

Love and respect.

Sean Lloyd

Editor