I am startled! SHATTERED even! I like to look closely at the things in my life- I examine my DVD’s for scratches, I read the labels of food to see what I’m feeding my temple, I touch my friends to see that they are real and not fake. The last ones a lie, but that’s not the point of this, is it? Why am I asking you if I am writing the article? That’s stupid, I asked you a question there again. I should not be asking you. But then why do I keep on doing it?

It’s the heat today, it’s making my mind into porridge, I apologise profusely. I’m sweating profusely as well.

So what I wanted to speak about was all this oil in various products I use, and some I don’t use but seem to be lying around the house.

Firstly, the Sunsilk conditioner that mysteriously appeared in the shower, says that it contains “Hazelnut and carrot oil” Hazelnut I can understand, but carrot? Are you serious? How on earth do you extract oil from a carrot? And even if there is a small amount of oil in carrots, HOW MANY carrots are you using to make this product?

You see…it’s true 

It’s no wonder the world is short of food! Carrots are being used to give us silky smooth hair. It’s bizarre! And then we have corn which is being used to make bio-fuels. Strange.

I tell you what is even more bizarre. I have “Rice bran” cooking oil. Who would have ever thought that we could get oil out of rice? Well from rice bran anyway. It’s getting a little bit mad here people!

Enjoy this too. According to my shower gel, it contains pure essential oils of Lavendar, Ylang Ylang and Patchouli.

WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. HERE?

How many plants and vegetables and grains and herbs and whatever else are we using each year to put onto our skin and massage into our silky smooth tresses? I liked that. Tresses. You enjoyed it too.

I see that naughty smile.

You want me to nibble your ear?

I can’t babe, I ate ribs for lunch. That’s why I’m picking at my teeth. I will do it later. Now go lie down and drink that  wine we were sent today from that wine place. I can’t remember the name. We can chat about it next week.

I’m just shocked. No wonder the world is in such a state.

Well…that’s out the way now. I feel better. I hope you also noticed these things. Or am I the only one who is observant? I have no idea this day has been too much for me. Chilling at a coffee shop for the afternoon seemed easy, but it took it out of me! The chilling…chatting…carrot muffin…I am spent!

Call me.

Wait…that makes no sense.

Sean Lloyd

Editor