Yesterday I got a call from Mike who is excessing it because he is on holiday and he told me that Firemans Arms was on for the evening. I was not feeling too great but let him know that I was going to smash the pharmacy into oblivion and then let him know what my plans were.

I did smash the pharmacy. I did not feel that much better. But I went through to Firemans Arms anyway because it was quiz night! An appearance was even made by the SLXS co-anchor. Nice to see some sort of “work” being done. Even if it was drinking. I have made an appearance at one quiz night before and Mike absolutely dominated. I barely had time to even take the question in and Mike had already answered it correctly. It is no small mystery that Mike is the cleverest man ever. Ever. He knows everything, which sometimes makes me feel quite stupid.

Anyway, the quiz started at 7:30 and we arrived at about 7:15, to be greeted by Mike and all the rest of the crew. Mike was clearly at top speed as he was taking a pizza apart, and he was also accompanied by a bucket of beer. The beers were soon gone and Mike was hitting Mach 3, throwing out one liners and shouting “Cheaters!” to our opposition team which included Romy, Kate,Richard and their crew. I think at the last Firemans Arms quiz night we were actually on their team. So this time it was time for a bit of ex teammate trash talking.

We definitely were not on top form and out of about 40 questions, or however many there were, I only managed to get two correct! And the one we did not write down. So I contributed one correct answer to the team! Dismal. The categories range from Geography to Music, and I actually can’t remember the rest. I think History might have been a topic as well. I was a bit sidetracked the entire evening by a certain behemoth of a man, who I thought was Sebastian Chabal, the French rugby player who looks like the wild man of Borneo. And the wild man of Borneo looks like Matthew McConaughey after breaking up with Penelope Cruz and bending it on alcohol in Mexico. Very rugged, a sort of Camel man. I wanted to get a photo of myself with him, but was way too scared. So Mike took my camera,pointed it over his head and took a photo! It was so obvious that he was taking a photo of Chabal that I thought Chabal was going to come over and kill Mike. Luckily that never happened.

Sebastian Chabal is hiding in this photo. Let’s zoom in.

BOOM! Chabal! Notice the eyes.

The real Sebastian Chabal. The resemblance is striking. 

I nearly did die though. The intensity of the questions were IMMENSE!( I don’t even know if you can use “immense” in this context. But hey…I’m the editor and I will let it slide) Half the time I was blacking out, and I think it would have been easier to ask me to explain how the universe started. I was shocked at how little I knew. Not that I need to know a lot about those subjects, because I don’t really care. But still…

One of the more classic quotes was when Mike went to the bathroom and there was a guy there who could not believe that he got the one answer wrong in the Geography section. Mike let him know that it was not that bad and that our team was so poor that we were not getting anything correct. Then the guy said something like this:

“I know but I’m a Geography teacher!”

Good times.

The bathroom was also quite interesting, and I found this poster. If you understand Afrikaans you will know what it means. Otherwise I can’t really explain it here. Those of you who understand it might enjoy it. It says “Robbie Wessels as ‘Poena’ “. In the speech bubble it says “Die pad na ‘n vrou se hart loop deur ‘n koek!” Then there is an arrow pointing at the guy saying “Vaatjie” Only in South Africa!

I can’t really explain this. 

Anywhichway, quiz night takes place at Firemans Arms every Thursday evening, starting at 7:30. It is R20 to enter the quiz and there is a prize for first place. I don’t know what it is because I had no intention of winning. Then there are spot prizes during the evening, and last night this was a round of Captain Morgan for the team that got some random question correct. Naturally we got it wrong.

It is definitely worth paying quiz night a visit, or just visit Firemans Arms anyway and it will take you back to the very old school of watering holes. The memorabilia on the walls is astounding and it’s quite an experience.

Firemans Arms is situated at 25 Mechau Street in Cape Town. It’s on the corner of Buitengracht and Mechau Streets. Call them if you like at : 021 419 1513.

Just make sure you visit this pub, it’s a classic!

Sean Lloyd

Editor