In a shocking revelation, our so called “health minister” has come out to warn us of a tea that is still being sold that contains an ingredient called “comfrey” and apparently this may cause liver damage. News24 ran the story HERE

If you are a slave child living in the ceiling of a Constantia house, this might not really shock you because you will think this is the right thing for a health minister to be doing. But in South Africa it is QUITE clear that “health” and “Manto Tshabalala Msimang” should never ever be mentioned in the same paragraph, let alone the same magazine or newspaper.

Quite fond of the odd piss up she is, and therefore it is quite shocking for her to say that tea might cause liver damage, but drinking in hospital seems alright. In an article over HERE entitled “Manto’s hospital booze binge”, we realise she likes the odd tipple, so it is quite funny that she warns that a tea might cause liver damage. I would probably believe her if I had a 22 inch gold plated cock, but I don’t. Well at least it’s not gold plated but it is HUGE.

In the same article it also says she would only eat Woolworths food. That’s a given. I mean as the health minister she should only eat the very best food. Woolworths sell healthy stuff. But I’m guessing Manto went for the Chuckles.

It’s also quite clear that our chick Manto is fond of the odd garage pie or 72. It also looks as if she might have consumed all of the worlds oil (Off Manto and global warming will cease to exist). Because let’s not beat around the bush here(Oooooh…gross), she is not big boned. She is…to put it mildly…one huuuuuuuge bitch.

Looking at her is like looking at a tub of lard, covered in more lard, and sprinkled with alcohol. To quote her hospital booze binge article:

“After a party in her room one night, at about 1:30am, the minister demanded lemons”

You might think that a lemon would go nicely in a drink and that is what fatty boom boom used it for. But given the ministers prior health statements, it seems to me that she had hired a rent boy, who had AIDS. And we all know that consuming things such as lemon, beetroot and sweet potatoes will cure AIDS. It’s a South African proven fact. Well at least a South African government proven fact.

Manto: Sucking on a lemon lozenge after sex for maximum protection

Apparently Manto is doing the celebrity thing of unveiling a winter sexual lingerie range. But as we all know G-strings are old news and Manto is releasing the G-Rope.

Fish net stocking are also out, and have been replaced by I&J’s actual deep sea trawling nets, for “plus size bitches”

She is also the celebrity face of various products, and Prohep and Essentiale are in a bidding war to get her to use their liver tablets. With Natrodale Milk Thistle making a sneaky chase for the prize…

Manto: Pops these like Skittles

So that’s it, all the latest news on health that you need to know.

Over and out.

Sean Lloyd

Editor