I was invited to do some previewing of excessively expensive stuff at The Boat Show in Cape Town courtesy of Andrew at Bourne2Ride. You would have seen Andrew in the Sunday paper, something like this:

Go go go!

Yeah! That’s pretty sick. I was nowhere near getting into the water, not a chance. That’s why I write and he wakeboards. I’ll slip a disc doing something like that.

Anyway being a boat show, you’d expect boats, engines, GPS systems, jet ski’s and all that. But then, wait, what is that? Is that something out of the ordinary, why is this at the boat show?

Not clear so let’s zoom in

Ooooooooh-kayyyyyy!

All I have to say is “Interesting”

It’s always quite amusing, seeing the brass penis on the door to the mens at Moyo at Spier.

Small things…for small minds.

Is small the right word to use?

Hey guys and girls

Just a quick note, if I haven’t replied to your e-mails…my apologies. E-mails direct to my address will be answered promptly, but with the contact form on the bottom of the website, I have slipped up! Those e-mails go to a separate address mainly due to spam reasons. And I was not checking the spam box! But I have replied to all your e-mails this morning, I do hope none were lost.

For contacting me you can simply click here.

Great! Seriously I’m available all the time. Drop me a line. Send me things. Photos. Products. I’m like a wishing well for gifts. Or something like that. Catch you later!

Just a current look at the Green Point Stadium. The majority of you won’t know why this is being built, but I’m on the cutting edge of breaking news!

22 September 2009 progress, nice! Click here for high resolution

South Africa just won the bid to host a World Cup, where guys will be playing soccer! Apparently they just kick a ball around, and then try and get that ball go into a net. It sounds very intriguing. I knew you’d love that.

There are quite a lot of photos on the City Of Cape Town website, just click here to check the rest.

(Thanks Rashiq)

You by now will know of Tucker Max, and there really is no need to go into detail. Now as you also know, he has managed to make himself famous, and get himself all famous by being a dick, awesome!

Goes to show, all that they teach you in school is wrong.

So Tuckers movie is called I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and I haven’t seen it because it’s not here yet, but when it comes to SA you know I’ll watch it! Just to sort of let you slip into the Tucker Max character, let’s check out two facts from the website:

Rad! And you say I’m bad, whaaaaaaat?!

Check out the I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell website over here.

I thought you’d enjoy that.

I watched the trailer, and I won’t lie, it looks a bit kak! But I am still trying to recover from how awesome The Hangover was.

I first heard of GirlzE from Nash and to be honest, didn’t take too much notice. (I have no idea why, kicking myself)

Until I unwittingly arrived at Club 91 in Claremont and stumbled into the GirlzE lingerie show. Honestly? It’s the hottest thing I’ve seen all year.

The girls are so incredibly beautiful, it is hard to compose yourself around them. They literally just attract crowds because they are so damn gorgeous!

So I received an invite on Facebook to the GirlzE Glamour Party, and you need to e-mail them and tell them why you should be on the list to attend the party. I like them mean!

Makes taming them a greater challenge…

Anyway, here is what it has to say:

On Friday 2 October, NawtyMedia in association with GirlzE present a night of glamorous indulgence at The Butterfly Studio. This gorgeous photographic studio has housed thousands of the hottest photo shoots in Cape Town and has played home to some of the hottest Fashion industry parties in the Mother City.

On this night we kit out the place to create the ultimate party playpen for your entertainment pleasure. Expect smoking hot DJ’s playing the finest blend of Electronic music for your listening pleasure, complimentary sushi, delectable cocktails on arrival and more, leading up to one seriously hot fashion show courtesy of the GirlzE girls, where we will showcase sensational lingerie, swimwear and kinky costumes.

Expect a night of exclusivity, glamour, titillating (Ha ha they said tit — Sean) fun and style. To get onto the very exclusive VIP guestlist, drop one of the Admins and tell us why you should be on it.

This is the type of event that you as a human need to attend. It’s not one of those optional things, you need to try get on the list for it.  Click here for the Facebook event, where you can get the low down.

In my pants.

So as is standard on Twitter, everyone is now suddenly using # before anything they say. I know it’s got some sort of technical meaning, but most people just use it to follow the leader because everyone is doing it.

#vidae

#ferrarri

#earthdance

I’ve got one

#SHUTUP

There we go. Anyway, in the trending topics #iamsinglebecause came up and naturally I had to reply here:

This obviously refers to Marisa Miller tucking into some pies recently and looking hideos and bloated:

She had the indecency to use my bath

But then check these two absolute pearls, one after another, crash boom bang!

Right, moving on, there is absolutely nothing for you to see here.

What? Hey I didn’t say it this time, she said it herself!

Freaks.

Ster Kinekor are screening Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ as a farewell to one of the greatest singers and entertainers the planet has ever seen. This includes clips from his final rehearsals for his comeback tour that never happened. This Is It is limited and will only run for two weeks, with a special 3am premier on Wednesday 28 October at the following cinemas:

• Fourways

• Sterland in Pretoria

• Gateway Commercial in Durban

• Cavendish Commercial in Cape Town (Us! Us!)

The reason for the 3am start is that it is part of a simultaneous worldwide screening to fans, and will include a live link to Los Angeles. Tickets went on sale today, and tickets for the 3am premiere cost R200 per ticket and this includes breakfast and a Michael Jackson related gift (If you are an Edgars or Discovery cold holder, you will pay R150)

Simply click here to book tickets to the regular screening of Michael Jackson’s This Is It.

And click here to book tickets to the special 3am screening.

This is definitely something very worthwhile watching.

When do you cross the line? For some it’s alcohol, some drugs.

Then for the really crazy bastards, it’s hair products. I got lost in my house earlier and realised the only reason I was lost was because I had so many damn hair products to sift through!

Look, I wouldn’t call it an addiction, but something is going on. I mean it’s not exactly like I have over R2000 worth of hair products right there! That would be crazy.

*Calculates in mind*

Wait…I do…is this bad?

Do we need help? Has one addiction been replaced by another?

“Not that I need all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious hair product collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can”

Look, the main point is that I look fabulous when I leave Mission Control so that if you see me in the street you are blown away by my presence. But seriously though, it’s not an addiction.

Don’t look at me funny.

What?

With summer waking me up every morning before my threesome fantasy with two 27 year old’s is over, one needs to start thinking of ways to actually attract the opposite sex, instead of just dreaming about them. While money is a way of attracting the opposite sex, not everyone has money. While natural charm is said to work (Don’t ask me), I have no idea how to play this card. The only charm I have is the little Thai boy in my cabana hut at the pool in the garden, holding a banana leaf so that he can cool The Sean down when the summer rays get too much and the Piz Buin SPF2 bronzing oil is no longer protecting my gorgeous, supple hide.

What we need is some old school attraction techniques, like those they use in the animal kingdom. Where they use scent to attract and punish the opposite sex into being their sex slaves. While we don’t endorse sex slaves at SLXS, we do in a small way promote child labour, because imagine if there were no child labour? My Nike’s would cost like R4000 PER SHOE!

While some of you may commonly link scent with roofies, these are completely different things. Attracting someone and taking advantage of them while they sleep are completely different things! And just because what you make them drink is legal, doesn’t make it right! Cough…eye drops…cough…

Wait a second, did I just write what you have just read? I can for a fact not recall what I meant back there, so let’s start again you sexy devils.

Fragrances…Sean tunes his mind in and onto the right channel. Aaaaaah! There we are.

I was at Cavendish earlier trying to score some crack from those rubbish kids at McDonalds…tra la la lee la.

Then I went into the fragrance store, Truworths or something and tried out two awesome fragrances! One is unisex and the other is for men.

The first one is so damn gorgeous I wanted to eat it and it is going to be insane for summer. It’s CK One Summer, let’s have a look at that bad boy:

Now there is no point in me explaining the fragrance, but I like it and I spritzed some of the tester on today. It’s so damn good. The fragrance notes are: Mint, Cucumber, Lemon, Bergamot, Green Apple, Lotus, Rosemary, Rum, Woods, Sea Moss, Sandalwood. Sick, dude.

Before we go on, just a quick little note on fragrances:

• Spray it on the wrists (Another tip I once read in GQ, from a top female perfume maker “Spray it anywhere you’d get kissed” — Emptied a bottle into my pants) But a really good tip is to spray it on the wrist, and on the neck, and that’s all you need. Don’t rub the fragrance vigorously, as this can damage it’s scent. Just let it air dry naturally.

• Don’t buy a fragrance based on spraying it on a test card. It develops differently on everyone and just because it smells good on a friend of yours, doesn’t make it suitable for you.

• Fragrances will last different times on different people. Dry skin may not carry a scent as well (For dry skin, try fish oil supplements)

• Don’t over spray. You don’t want to kill people with your scent, it should rather be noticeable by other people within talking distance of you. Your scent shouldn’t overpower the room, unless you’re a news anchor and you’re wearing sex panther.

• Don’t test too many fragrances in one day. Take your time, spread the testing over a week or two, just testing two a day. Obviously don’t spray one on top of the other, gimp.

Those are the main tips for being successfully sexual.

The other absolute classic is Aqua Di Gio by Giorgio Armani.

To be honest, I don’t even remember doing this campaign

This is one of my all time favourites and I’ve often seduced myself with it. It is actually so damn good and I never get tired of it. Give it a try, you will love it. Fresh and awesome, if it has graced thine hide, it shall grace yours very well too. Here is a description of it from Amazon.com:

A resolutely masculine fragrance born from the sea, the sun, the earth, and the breeze of a Mediterranean island. Transparent, aromatic, and woody in nature Aqua Di Gio Pour Homme is a contemporary expression of masculinity, in an aura of marine notes, fruits, herbs, and woods. Fragrance notes: citrus notes, rosemary spiciness, jasmine, hint of wood and ocean breezes. Recommended use: casual.

This is very good news in the fight to come right!

Two of my top fragrances for this summer.

There is that other one for woman that is insane, Poison something or other? Hypnotic Poison? It’s the one the American co-anchor wears…

Names please darling.

Listen now, let’s not be foolish and think that there is no party tonight. Yes, I know you’re doing Earthdance, tripping balls on acid and stuff, but if you have half a brain you will know that the advertising sector of South Africa is in Cape Town for the Loerie Awards and they are going positively off their tits.

The Loerie Awards Festival started yesterday and runs until Sunday. Four days of excess and we won’t go into the finer details of what sort of excess, Pablo.  The actual awards ceremony takes place tonight in Cape Town as well as tomorrow night.

You need to understand, that the Loerie awards is NEVER in Cape Town, and this is your chance to hook up with inebriated advertising people! Trust me, there are loads of beautiful people in advertising and they have all called me this morning saying that they have absolutely no ambitions.

A little snippet from the website:

After the awards ceremonies on Friday and Saturday evenings, a chunk of Long Street will be closed off on both nights as the street is transformed into the Loeries Village.

From 9pm to 4am, Long Street will be pedestrianised from Bloem Street to Buitensingel and closed to motor vehicles.

The official after party venue will be made up of Long Street Cafe, Mojito, Julep and Vredenburg Lane. Long Street in this area will only be accessible to Loeries delegates. A marquee will be erected over Long Street and Vredenburg Lane will be covered with bedouin tents.

Additional serving areas will be available in the street including over 25 metres of bar space in Long Street and in the courtyard at the end of Vredenburg Lane. Tapas will be served and there will be a Very Important Ego (VIE) lounge.

ARTIST AND DJ LINE UP:
FRIDAY – Bruno Morphet (Killer Robot), Good Luck (Live Electro Act), The Champs, Mpholo, Ready D
SATURDAY – Bruno Morphet (Killer Robot), Tyrone Paulson (Good Hope FM), Goldfish, Thibo Tazz, Kurt (Top Dawg Good Hope FM)

Trust me, it will be mental. There is so much information so for more please
click here.

And click here to check out the full schedule.

Then tell me you’re not aroused?!

I was mincing my way through Cavendish not really taking too much notice as to how I looked (You know how EVERYONE looks at their reflection on the glass at shopping centres, pretending to actually be looking at the clothes in the window, but touching their hair) when I was about to do the right thing and check my hair in the window, but then something more beautiful than thee caught thine eye!

And it was the Musica sale!

At that very moment, I heard girls screaming my name in hysterics, kids giggling…birds chirping…MILFS gurgling…wow, I guess I took it a little too far there, a little too soon?

But to be honest the Musica sale is like teenage desire…all over again! I know for a fact that it’s like sex in Musica right now, people are going mental. And at R70 a DVD, you should go mad! Take your clothes off, spritz some CK One, shave your balls, you get the picture. Wash, tone, moisturise. Is this making any sense to you?

Because if it is, well done you are the proud recipient of a crack addiction!

And that’s what’s happening on the New York Stock Exchange, crude oil is trading horribly.

Nothing to see here.

But I have picked up (Not an STD) some mind blowing DVD’s! My grandparents would have seen these at the bioscope, but I can just see them at home, such is the crazy life I lead. Check what I picked up:

Dirty Dancing, ja darling! Footloose? OHMYGOD!

Zoolander? To help me learn how to become professionally good looking for a career.

American Psycho…you have seen this haven’t you? I even threw in The Wrestler (Regular price) because it’s so damn awesome.

(Talking of Psycho’s, do you ever look on Facebook and see that the psycho chick/dude that you and all your friends avoid is listed as in a relationship. You go to look who psycho is now dating and think “Well he/she actually looks like quite a nice person” And you’re just wanting to warn them what they’re getting themselves into, but you can’t because you don’t know them. I’ve just seen this happen now. Heart breaking! Facebook should have an early warning system to avoid these tragedies, so as soon as you are listed in a relationship with someone it gives you a red, orange or green light. Green for this is a great person, you can date. Orange for, hook up with them, but don’t ever speak of a relationship. As soon as they become clingy, get out of there before they permanently attach themselves to you. Some refer to this as a FAD or a F’nD — F and Duck, and it rhymes!. Red — CODE RED. Abort mission)

American Psycho is an absolute classic, and while it is a little weird, it’s so weird that you simply cannot help laughing. Christian Bale running naked down a passageway with a chainsaw trying to kill someone? SO weird that I laughed!

The music in these films is absolutely classic as well, let’s look at some of the tracks that are played:

Zoolander — Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Beat It by Michael Jackson, Relax by Powerman 5000 and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham

American Psycho — Phil Collins, Lady In Red by Chris De Burgh, Huey Lewis And The News (Hip To Be Square), tremendous! The awesome thing on American Psycho is that they contrast violence with super chilled music, making it seem…well less violent.

Dirty Dancing — The Time Of My Life, Hungry Eyes and She’s Like The Wind.

Footloose — Footloose, Holding Out For A Hero, Waiting For A Girl Like You.

How crazy?!

I can only compare this to sleeping with Oprah Winfrey and Roseanne Barr…whoops! WRONG FANTASY! That’s the fantasy where someone dares me to try and end planet earth with one action.

But really now, there is absolutely no reason to be buying pirated DVD’s now (Other than the fact that it WILL break your karma in half) because at R70 each, it essentially costs you nothing. I worked out the other day that I pay R20 odd rand to hire a DVD, and I never ever get round to watching it on the day I hire it. In most cases, it takes me a few days to watch it, and then I want to rewatch it and the next thing you know it has cost me R100 to hire a DVD! So it makes sense buying them at R70, and I even buy the new releases at R150 becase it is well worth it.

It is also a fact that chicks dig guys with book and DVD collections. That fact was made up by me, but I’m sure it’s true.

It’s like “Wanna see my DVD’s…baby…”

“No Sean I don’t, because your DVD’s are in the corner of the room and NOBODY puts baby in the corner!”

Whaaaaa ha ha! Are you in the same frame of mind that I’m currently in? Because if you are you will know what it’s like to be off the hook.

I sometimes like to say off the hizzay, but that’s almost exclusively for when I’m rolling my NY Yankees cap, my Nike Dunk Low shoes and my bad ass attitude. Because…I’m…bad…ass…?

The entire point of this whole bit of ‘writing’ was to let you know that Musica are having a sale, and there are some crazy specials for DVD’s at R70.

If you want to know a little secret, they even have a Godfather Disc Box (Well it’s tin) for R330 or R350. That’s The Godfather Part 1,2 and 3. Buy that one!

My work here is done.

*Wipes hands on a cloth, like a mechanic would*

*Places shades back on*

*Puts hands in pants. Changes gear*

Who’s hungry?

Just a note on SLXS this week, Thursday is a holiday and my posting has been quite odd this week with a lack of new stuff, but bear with me, I haven’t been feeling 100%!

Which has meant that I have not been out much, getting all the cool stories I think you need to know. This is legitimate though because I do have a ticket for Basils party tonight but am not feeling quite so hot that I think it’s a good idea to go. So while everyone heads out, I’m home preparing new content.

I know…the lengths I go to for you!

So that’s where we’re at, I’m super unhappy that I’ve had to miss Basil’s party as it is going to be phenomenal, and now I can’t bring you any photos. But we’ll make it up to you, and I will be out in full force at the next one of Basil’s parties.

So know that we’re all in the loop, let’s get back on track!

So I have done all the dirty work for you philthy scoundrels once again, leaving you to simply enjoy your life (Unless you have an office job, then it’s difficult)

But in the areas where I can improve your life, I do, so due to the extreme amount of leisure that I possess, I have checked the DSTV magazine for Tuesday 22 September  so that you can come home drunk from work, or high, possibly both, slump down onto the couch with your beloved case of beer, and tune right in to what is good. Because there is nothing worse than having to try see what is on TV when you’re blind drunk. Let’s check this Tuesdays worthwhile stuff, I’ve chosen evening shows because for some strange reason a lot of you people still e-mail me from corporate accounts, leading me to believe that you are foolish and still possess day jobs. I have not done a whole weeks programming because after Wednesday you are no doubt going to be going on a massive drug binge, you rotten sod you!

Tuesday 22 September:

M-Net (101) — 20:30 — CSI Miami Season 7 (Sunglasses necessary)

M-Net (101) — 00:35 — August Rush — I’ve seen this and it is awesome! “Freddie Highmore plays Evan, a boy who grows up in a home for boys, but who is an outcast even there. He feels different from everybody else and can hear music in everything around him. But like any child, he believes that his parents always wanted him, so he develops his musical talents in the hopes of  finding them. His journey to New York City brings him into contact with Wizard (Robin Williams), a man eager to capitalise on the child prodigy’s talent.”

M-Net Movies 2 (104) — 20:00 — The Devil Wears Prada — Anne Hathaway looking hot, everyone looking smart. Some people believe the character Miranda Priestly is based on Anna Wintour of Vogue. Highly entertaining, just don’t get caught perving if you’re with the wife.

M-Net Movies 2 — 23:35 — Jackass Number 2 — Gross yet hilarious! A highlight is when Steve-O shoves a fish hook through his cheek and throws himself off the boat as bait for sharks. Rad!

Sony Entertainment Television (113) –18:10 and 22:05 — The Late Show With David Letterman — I absolutely love this show, celebrity guests and all. Although I really miss Conan O’ Brien as well! And Jay Leno!

BBC Entertainment (120) — 23:35 and 02:15 — Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind. The magician Derren Brown is mental! Watch this stuff, it’s rad.

Vuzu (123) — 22:00 — South Park. Yes!

E! Entertainment (124)  Posh and Becks True Hollywood Story. Come on, you do love them! It will be an interesting story nonetheless.

Travel Channel (181) — 20:00 — Floyd Uncorked. The legend of Floyd lives on in his TV show, probably one of the best shows I’ve ever seen because of his easy humour and love for the tipple! Also check the Travel Channel from 23:00 until 00:00 for The Thirsty Traveller. The man gets paid to be an alcoholic, ha ha!

BBC Knowledge (251) — 17:30 and 23:30 — Top Gear, enough said. There is also a show on at 18:30 called A Year In Tibet which could be interesting, I’ve always held an interest in Tibet and I read the odd thing on Buddhism, it’s all very intriguing.

And that’s it, my TV guide for Tuesday!

Hey? No problem, thank me later. It’s what I do, I bring joy to the masses.

It’s like a curse sometimes, being so giving. But I deal with it. On a daily basis.

Although it’s way funnier and much more immature if we spell it (C)anal Walk. Ha ha ha! *Giggles*

This is what Phat Farm is about:

Led by the vision of Russell Simmons, the founder of the modern day hip-hop movement, Phat Farm, a division of Phat Fashions, is symbol of men’s contemporary American culture, mixing the urban aesthetics of the streets and the preppy culture of the Ivy League. Since its inception in 1992, Phat Fashions remains committed to the principles that took it from a small New York City showroom to a multi-million dollar business. Phat Fashions’ success is a result of the brand’s commitment to quality, innovation in design and support of the retail trade through strategic marketing and advertising. For the consumer, Phat Fashions delivers a universal message that breaks stereotypes and ethnic boundaries, setting the new standard in sportswear and establishes the company as the complete American lifestyle brand.

Kimora Lee Simmons is now the president and creative director for Phat Fashions after her ex husband Russell Simmons stepped down.

I’m not sure if the store is unisex, but I assume it is, and I’m not so hooked on the t-shirts, this one I took from their website:

It’s a little bit too trashy for me, too baggy, too long, and I don’t exactly
own a baller cap to go with it!

But we’ll wait and see, when the shop opens I’ll decide.

And also remember, G-Star Raw are opening a stand alone shop at the V&A Waterfront very soon. Yeah!