Oh yeah, here Halo Live go again!

Yeah look, I was going to search through a whole load of Marcel Woods videos, and then got completely sidetracked and started writing another piece of midget tossing!

And then one on the reasons why people should stop investing and start taking drugs, how weird is that? But 100% of the things I want to write sound good in my head, but then are utterly rubbish when I write them, it really sucks. I really need to learn to write better. Betterest? Good? Gooder?

Anyway.

But yes it is in fact true, Marcel Woods is in Cape Town this weekend, and we have 10 tickets to give away!

He’s obviously played in some of the smaller events…*ahem*…Global Gathering, Mysteryland, Dance Valley, Trance Energy, Gatecrasher Summer Sound System, Escape Into The Park, Planet Love and Sanctuary.

But you don’t need to travel all across the planet to see him, because this Friday, Marcel Woods is playing in Cape Town, at Club 91, thanks to our crew at Halo Live! They’re awesome like that, you don’t even ask for things and BANG…they read your mind.

So I have 5 sets of tickets to give away (It’s what I do), all you need to do is give me the name of the ancient, indigenous tribe that used to eat Yak meat in the Egyptian pyramids from 1803-1877…

GO GO GO!!

No I’m joking, I blacked out for a second there.

Tickets are available for R70 at Webtickets, Click here to get yourself those tickets.

WIN TICKETS

You need to tell me what your favourite shoes are to party YOUR FACE OFF in? Converse, Feiyue, whatever, just drop their name by commenting below, and be sure to enter your e-mail address, otherwise I have to drop acid, do a Jedi mind trick, connect to Bill Gates via the 3G (In my mind) and siphon your details out of his brain. Which I can totally do, I just don’t feel like doing it this week.

As Murray Walker would have said:

GO GO GO!!!

‘The dream’ we all talk about is pretty hard to pinpoint. For some it’s an island, a house or a car. For others it’s an activity. For some it’s a job.
But there is only one person in the world living the dream that we all think about, getting paid the money we all dream about. Charlie ‘The Dream’ Sheen.

I love it! We all need to raise our game. Aspire to be better. Work towards this decadent and depraved dream.

We need to join Charlie there, because it’s lonely at the top.

This is apparently what Robbie Williams was dealing with a while back, after getting seriously addicted to caffeine. It’s not exactly news, because we heard about this addiction a long time ago, but loads of people don’t know about it. I bring it up from time to time with people, and they’re not quite sure what I’ve been taking when they hear me talking about it.
That’s a lot of caffeine!

To be honest, I’m not sure what would pack up first on that diet. It’s a toss up between my wallet and stomach, and then my heart.

I’d say I could afford that for one or two days, and as my wallet explodes so would my stomach. Then I’d no doubt have a heart attack. But I’m always fascinated by the punishment a celebrity body can take, and there I drink a Coke or two a day and I basically pack up. I definitely don’t have the rock star genes I asked for at birth, but I’d love to be able to rock it like Hunter S Thompson, or Keith Richards, or Tommy Lee, or even Robbie. And Sheen. We can’t forget Sheen.

Would be cool to live like that for a while, if only to see how you feel.

Source 1

Source 2

Um…I think if I added any words that would spoil it.

Look, when it comes to Cape Town, it’s a cool place, sure. But when it comes to actually owning property here, it feels like someone has punched you in the stomach, then as you have dropped, they have kneed you in the head. And this is an ongoing cycle! You feel this pain every day. Apartments are going for a cool R1.4 million, and houses are a bit of a joke, unless a student digs is your style.

So my future plan is to just stay in Mozambique one day! Seriously, why would I want to bother working so hard to afford a R10 million house here, when I can just nick a house for R1.4 million in Mozambique? Then I’ll leave Cape Town and all the hipsters, and go chill out there.

And myself and the crew will just go chill there, we’ll ride bokes and walk around and take photos and braai and go mess around in the ocean and lie in the sun and brew beer and not worry about all the fake people telling us that we’re shit at life because we don’t have an iPad, and we don’t have an iPhone, and we haven’t eaten at this restaurant and we don’t know this guy who is so successful and owns this company.

We’ll have none of that, thanks!

Check this out, for R1.45 million in Mozambique you can get a 2 bedroom house in the Kabali Beach Lodge, and there are 41 two, three and four bedroom villas available, with this being what you have to deal with:

How awesome?! Obviously those are digital impressions of what it will look like, and that’s not quite the house you will get for R1.45 million, but that’s the feel. And I tell you what, it feels good!

Here are some further details:

Kubali Beach Lodge, situated near Chidenguele in Southern Mozambique, consists of a series of free standing buildings. It has 41 two-, three- and four-bedroom villas to choose from. The central building will contain a clubhouse, lounge, library, restaurant and bar. The architecture blends Balinese and contemporary designs giving you an ‘island style’ experience, while at the same providing the luxury of modern living. Disclaimer : (In accordance with Mozambique Law, transfer of ownership by way of a transferable 50-year renewable concession of use, can only occur once a residence has been completed)

Features

Reception Rooms: 1
Bedrooms: 2
Bathrooms: 2
Parking:
Garage(s): 1

Additional Details

Property Size: 2000 m2
Building Area Size: 170 m²

Click here if you’re interested in further details.

Then we cast our eyes back to Cape Town, and search for a home in Claremont between R800000 and R1.5 million, and we get…

*Drum roll*

An ‘Adorable cottage in Harfield Village’ I won’t even post a photo or a link. Just to let you know, that you go from beach villa, to a cottage. Rad.

What on earth are we actually doing in Cape Town?!

I love it here, but Mozambique…it’s cheaper and you have to spend less, because no one is trying to compete against you. No one is hosting a bigger party with more celebrities, no one is comparing houses, gadgets and cars.

Am I just crazy or does Mozambique look awesome?

I’m not Ryan Sandes, so will be giving this event a skip (Photo Via)

Look, I’m not even going to lie to you.
I promote things on SLXS that I want to, and I promote things that I have bought/am going to buy/ would buy if I had the cash freely available. But sometimes I mention things that are awesome, that I’m just not going to do.
This is one of them!

But I know that you are all crazy and stuff, and some of you like the odd yog (Apparently a new form of exercise, where you move forward at pace for an extended period of time)
Well this is a little different, because it’s a run up and down Table Mountain. Actually, that’s not exactly true. It’s a run up and down Table Mountain, from sunrise to sunset. In that time you need to see how many times you can run up and down Table Mountain.

Now this isn’t my idea of fun because I have The Godfather on PVR and I can watch that on replay from sunrise to sunset. But I will cruise to the mountain on the day and snap some photos of these crazy athletes. The good thing is, it is for charity.

So here are the details, for those of you with a high PAIN tolerance:

On the 9th of April 2011, roughly 100 intrepid Capetonians will attempt to see how many times they can summit Table Mountain, from sunrise to sunset, to raise money for Aids affected, vulnerable and orphaned children.

This is a tough event for the competitors!

Each lap:

Is 5.5km in distance
Has 760 metres of climbing
Includes more than 800 double size steps over a distance of 2.1km ( Up Platteklip Gorge )
Contestants need to run to the upper cable station, catch a lift down and then run back to the start.
Will take approximately 1 – 2 hrs depending on the persons fitness.

You don’t pay to enter, but you have to raise R2000 in sponsorship for your run.

Sounds awesome if you’re fit, I’ll no doubt be watching you guys from the side of the trail somewhere!

Click here for more details and to enter

I first spotted this over at Bangersandnash.com, and couldn’t believe I hadn’t spotted it yet, because I’m always looking at the awesome stuff Red Bull gets up to. But other than the Red Bull Stratos Project, which is pushing the levels of insanity, this is their other crazy project.

I can’t imagine the mindset those guys need to be in to do that stuff, or the lives they have lived to get to that single moment…dropping off choppers and cutting through the snow in the most extreme conditions ever. It’s just insane, and I’d love to see some background history on these guys, almost like a lead up to that point in their lives, with interviews and clips of past endeavours. I should have become a documentary maker, I LOVE this sort of stuff, for the insanity of it all, but also for the visuals that the team deliver us. Here is the Red Bull Art Of Flight:

There is nothing further that I have to say, I think we all need some silence now.

The Eva Solo Carafe, super styling

So I’m quite bad with pouring water and all of that, and I’m not a fan of ugly stuff. Plastic bottles sitting in the fridge, getting scratched and discoloured, no no…this will not do. Glass is the way to go as it’s environmentally friendly, and contains no harmful substances like plastic does. And it doesn’t absorb flavours, so you can use one carafe for many different juices, but this one is really cool for water, and it’s drip free.

It’s got a really wide mouth (Yes?) so you can throw a few ice cubes down and some lemon, and you cans erve your water in style. So you put filtered water in (Filtered is the new Evian) the carafe, and serve your guests in style. It’s a little pricey (If you’re a pleb), but you’re buying so much overpiced bottled water anyway, that it will pay itself off in a few short months. Just check how awesome it is:

Quite a sweet little wetsuit it comes with as well! You know, because it gets cold in the fridge No, it’s just so your hand doesn’t freeze, and you don’t drop it while pouring your 50th G&T, you boozer you!

Click here to buy it from Yuppiechef (Not Plebchef if you’re wondering how much it costs)

So I ran into Wellness Warehouse the other day with a bloody steak in my hand, shouting ‘I NEED A COKE TO WASH THIS DOWN WITH!!’

It always freaks the fruitivores out. Or whatever they are.

And I saw some sort of bottled water, with a message saying ‘Love’ or something on the bottle, I quickly read it and it said something about ‘Words affect water’

I’d like to think I’m in touch with the universe and whatever (Hout Bay), but this is just…pushing it a bit? So I tried to find something similar online, and came across ‘Emo Water’ Honestly?!

Well apparently so, according to the website:

“EMO-H2O is a new bottled water based on the research of doctors, materials scientists and University researchers around the globe. This research shows how water is affected when labeled with a positive word. Scientist Rustom Roy and others have made incredible discoveries about the H2 to O bond being changed and stabilized and how water crystallizes beautifully after being exposed to positive words. Dr. Masaru Emoto, as seen in the award winning documentary “What the Bleep do we Know” has photographed the changes that occur after positive or negative words were put on water.”

So that’s what we’re currently dealing with in the world. Water can essentially now read the words on bottles, and take on this emotion and be all happy and stuff.

As if bottling water and making it a commodity were not bad enough, we’ll now be charging a premium on water because it’s ‘happy’. Water has already been made into a commodity by giants like Coca Cola, who charge us ridiculous prices for something we should all have access to at virtually no cost. It’s one of the basic necessities of life.

And I thought the iPad was cool…now we have reading water? I never thought I’d see the day!

So I was reading an article on their site on Christian Bale, and came to post a comment, but check what I need to do:

Have you ever in your life?!
Ok well sorry I’m not a numbers scientist! Talk about discrimination.

Right now, you don’t look as good as you should because you’re probably not drinking two litres of water a day. And buying bottled water is killing the planet man!

So the solution? Buy a water filter from H20 that is fitted at the sink, and then fill the two litre bottles up for this water dispenser, so you have to finish a bottle a day. This isn’t a water cooler or filter, merely a dispenser, but let’s be honest this will look SICK on your desk!

YES PLEASE!

It let’s people know that, yes, you can party. And yes, you have a child like side to you. But you’re still here to tear the business world apart!

The best part? It’s only R150, and it’ll make sure that you get your two litres a day.

Click here to buy it.

Go and get it you hero.

Look, I won’t say too much about this, I’m merely gently tossing the idea out there. Reason being is that people will start to ask ‘How do you know about this stuff?’ A gentleman never tells

I wouldn’t actually be afraid if I were you, and I wanted to use this. The fact that they actually make them is comforting enough! Because that means there are other people like you out there, so you’re doing alright!

Basically what I’m talking about, is an artificial vagina.

Hey?

Nothing mom and dad, wrong website, ghost writers actually write for me!

So this is the fetish some people are dealing with:

Click here to buy that safely and securely on Mantality.co.za.

And buying at Mantality.co.za is 100% confidential, the box will arrive in plain packaging, not some neon sign saying  ‘Artificial Avatar Vagina INSIDE’

Trust me champ, no one will know you’re having sex with Neytiri. Although, in her defense, she was quite hot!

You’re also thinking that this is quite cool? Ha ha what?

No man, I’d never think of getting one! Don’t be silly!

That is all.

I do have a bit of a phobia of washing my hands in public places, because germs just get spread from the doors and taps and everything else, making washing your hands in public bathrooms pointless, unless it is all touch free doors, taps and soap dispensers. As such, I always carry around some hand cleaner, just to keep clean and fresh all day!

Clean hands, dirty mind

I’ve tried the Dettol hand cleaner, and other such ‘gel’ formulations, but let’s be honest, they are all still a touch bit sticky. The only one I use is Germstar, which goes on liquid, rubs in, and leaves no residue. You would have seen their touchless dispensers at hospitals, so you know they’re really good. What’s awesome is that the spray has a fresh mint fragrance, it is awesome. It is hospital strength and kills 99.99% of germs on contact.

Grab it at Wellness Warehouse for R29.95 per 57ml bottle. Better yet, get the no touch dispenser, drop me an e-mail if you need more information on that bad boy.