Normally when talking about a ‘fest’, the word with ‘f’ is used before this, but in a different way to this.

Anyway, enough about that Constantia party last week!

When I heard last week that we were hosting a World Cup, I naturally thought this was quite cool and it’s also quite lucky, because now they can use that new stadium near the Waterfront.

Also, with this Soccer World Cup thing on the way, I’m pretty stoked at all the women who shall descend on Cape Town. Specifically the Brazilian ones. Ja, Brazilians, who can also lay claim to inventing that. AWE-some!

Now obviously if you don’t have tickets to all the games, you don’t to chill at home during the games not watching the games on the DSTV you don’t have. and even if you could watch the games live on TV, have you ever heard of someone coming right with a Brazilian SUPERDUPERMODEL in the stadium, from his house? No. Exactly.

If you want in on the action, both game and, well A-Game, then you’re going to need to surround yourself with a crowd of people who want to:

Watch soccer

Party

Now parties don’t throw themselves, and you don’t need to throw a party either, because the team behind the Cape Town Fifa Fanfest have it all sorted for you. Even on non-match days, they’re going to be throwing down some sick events.

Imagine an entire month of party? Phone Discovery and up your party liability, because you’re in for it!

Have you ever had so many cool things to tell someone, that you don’t know where to start? Well that’s me right now. But here is a little information on what is going down:

The Cape Town FIFA Fan Fest

Location: Grand Parade

Capacity: 25 000

Opening Hours:  11:00 – 23:00

Entrance:  Free (on match days)

Distance to Airport: 22km

Distance to Stadium: 2.6 km

Website: http://www.capetownfifafanfest.com

The Place

The Cape Town FIFA Fan Fest is the iconic Heritage Fan Fest of the FIFA 2010 World Cup. It is situated on the Grand Parade in the heart of The Mother City. This area, steeped in history, is at the foot of Table Mountain, in front of the City Hall and next to the Historic Castle of Good Hope (South Africa’s oldest building)

This historic venue, with over 350 years of history, is where Nelson Mandela addressed his fellow South Africans as a free man in February 1990, after spending 27 years behind bars for his beliefs.

The Entertainment

The Cape Town FIFA Fan Fest is a must as part of your Cape Town FIFA World Cup experience. With the ultimate soccer atmosphere it is definitely the most fun you can have without a ticket! Every match day the Cape Town FIFA Fan Fest will broadcast all the FIFA Soccer World Cup matches live on a 74sqm screen – to ensure you don’t miss one goal.
There is also a daily entertainment lineup between matches that will blow your mind. This lineup will include shows from local artists such as Goldfish, Freshly Ground, K’naan and Gang of Instrumentals as well as performances from African Marimba bands, local DJ’s and new and emerging talent.

There will be over 100 performances at the CTFFF and other attractions will also include Arts &Crafts stalls, food and beverage refreshment stands in the Chill Zone as well as interactive activity zones, including 5-a-side soccer pitches. Group match viewing experiences in the historic City hall will also be available.

Did you see that capacity? 25000 party people? I mean, it IS ridiculous!

I quite enjoy it how some people have to go to Ibiza to see Goldfish, and we just have them chilling here, playing at out Fanfest! It’s kind of how things operate here, but we’re so chilled we take it for granted.

Now I don’t want to be one of those guys who get’s you too excited, but just Google Imaging Brazilian Soccer Fan brings up these two results on the front page:

Your average soccer fan

Now obviously if that’s not your thing, then I’m totally cool with it. A month of playing Dungeons and Dragons and dreaming of maybe one day talking to a girl is kiff…you know…if that’s your thing.

Personally I like real, 3 dimensional people, so you know, I’ll be out and about mingling at these sorts of events.

But I mean it’s totally up to you.

While there are 10 days to go until the Cape Town Fifa Fan Fest breaks it down, you may as well start checking the schedule just so you can mentally prepare for it. Ten days should be long enough to wrap your head around it.

So click HERE to check out the website for loads more details.

And Google Image Brazilian.

I mean, Brazilian Soccer Fans. Either way, we’re probably in for a treat.

You know what my favourite thing in the world is?

I’m not even going to give you a chance to answer because you probably don’t know what my favourite thing in the world really is.

Well I’m going to tell you whether you care or not!

The absolute highlight of my life is when I’m waiting in my car (Well, when I get one again), waiting to turn into a road, but stuck because of the traffic. So I’m waiting like 10 minutes, and eventually God tells Moses that that Sean oke is a bit of a prick, but really deep down he’s not so bad and superficial, so he goes like this:

God whips out his Crackberry and sends Moses a message through BBM. It reads LIKE SO (For our Kenilworth readers, KC ma bru!):

“Yo Mo. Listen fool…that Mo, that’s not Movember. That’s me abbreviating your name. Hope you don’t mind M-Dawg? Anyways, I’m not near Sean’s hizzle, but I know you’re nearby. And don’t go lying to me saying you in Uzbekistan, because I’m watching you. You know The Truman Show? Of course you do. Well I’m the dude up above, playing the game. So listen this fool been stuck waiting for 10 minutes and he’s threatening to hit an old man in public if the traffic doesn’t disappear. So I’m gonna need you to part the traffic. Ok? Cool. I’m buying beers later, owe you cuzzie”

So Moses is like “Kiff jol, part the traffic, score beers, nice work”

Meanwhile Sean is chilling in the kakkest car in Cape Town (Purple Fiat Palio — getting hit on by okes left, right and centre) and suddenly…lookie woo, the traffic has ceased!

So I’m about to unleash the 1200 beast when suddenly…pow!

There is a civilian walking in front of my car. Not there is rarely a situation in life where I’d want you to take me from behind, but this is an exception. If you are a pedestrian, and I have been waiting feverishly to pull into the road, and you walk in front of my car as Moses does his job…I will kill you. Well actually I won’t, but the energy transferred from my engine, into my car, into you, will knock you into the road where you will be swiftly hit by a bus. Whenever walking near my car, always take it from behind.

I’m just saying, my brain is near capacity with irritating people at the moment. People in the streets rarely illicit excitement from me. At the current census (Official numbers here from the Department Of People Numbers) we have 2 trillion Funny Money vendors, 1,7 kabillion Big Issue vendors, 2,35 kazillion beggars,  50 kanillion okes pissing their pants while asking you for money to “Look after your car nice boss”, 51 billion people selling SA flags that they keep stealing from my car (Pricks), 21 billion people selling illegally picked flowers, 2 million people walking around with blind people, 7,5 million people walking around with rented babies and another 4,5 billion people lying pissed drunk in the road.  Like literally in the road. And then are are still 7,2 shmilliom people saying “Give a 5 cent”.

No wonder people turn to drink and drugs in this country.

Seeing as though no one took Robben Islebiza (HERE) seriously, I’m onto something new!

I’ve always wanted to be involved in an industry that just works whether there is a recession or not, and for me this has always been  the sex, drugs and alcohol industries. Seeing as though I’ve never met a bottle store owner who lives the dream, the booze thing is out.

I have seen drug dealers living the dream, but then, they’re still drug dealers. It’s kind of like pimping your Citi Golf…it’s still a Citi Golf. You’re still a drug dealer.

Sex on the other hand (The right one…) seems to be a decent industry. I mean, it’s not like everyone’s not doing it already. Not everyone is doing drugs though. So it shouldn’t be frowned upon. But it is. I can’t tell the taxman that of my R10 million profit last year, I’m not going to pay tax because you can’t pay tax on selling something that doesn’t really exist. Sex doesn’t really exist in that we’re not selling something concrete, like a product. We’re merely connecting two or more people…so we’re more like a cellphone company. Like Nokia!

And they make an absolute killing, and it’s legal. So my idea is not to run a brothel, it’s more of a people connecting service. Where money changes hands!

But to make it even more legal, surely selling connections (Sex) is only really illegal on land? So the plan is to have it at sea…in international waters baby!

We’re basically going to kit a boat out in pure luxury, and run a brother (People connecting service) on board. And we’ll have this boat anchored out at sea, with smaller boats chartering clients in. Being at sea, or in international waters will help us get by this thing of it being illegal to sell sex. We’ll totally make our millions!

And we’ll call the boat “The Tug Boat” It’ll look something like this:

You see, it fits in with our whole service offering, that being a rub and tug. Rub = massage. Tug = well, you know…

Now I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes.

Yes I was a teenage prodigy, and yes my ideas are genius!

I mean seriously, how awesome is The Tug Boat?

Ja, you wont be laughing when I’m a BAJILLIONAIRE!

(Shot Jerry for the name ‘The Tug Boat’!)

So I don’t take public transport I’ll be honest,and neither do I have a car at the moment! Bleeeeeeak…

Anyway, a reader forwarded me onto someone who wrote a note on the Facebook (Won’t mention names) on the Metrorail strike, or at least impending strike, and while it may seem conspiracy theory-ish, it’s actually got some decent ground to work on, and in my mind, makes complete sense. It’s a well known fact that I don’t follow local news (Preferring to live in blog la-la land!), but this is interesting. This is the actual note:

THIS WHOLE TRAIN STORY IS WORKING ON MY NERVES.

I was calculating this morning..
My weekly train ticket costs R64,00, for a journey from Heathfield to Cape Town.
That works out to a monthly cost of about R275,20 for this month and I am forced to buy weeklies because they won’t sell us monthly tickets because of the impending strike.
The normal price for the monthly ticket for the same journey is R198,00.
Which means that for the next month they are making a profit from me alone of R77,20..

Now let’s speculate that there are about 1million people travelling by public transport in Cape Town.
Clearly there is more but let’s take a round number like 1 million.

If they are all doing the same as me and having to buy a weekly ticket (keep in mind some people are actually buying singles and return tickets which will generate even more cash but let’s stick to my example of the weekly tickets only) then in this one month Metrorail will generate:

1 million X R77.20 = R77 200 000 [77million 2 hundred thousand Rand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Now… Doesn’t that sound a bit fishy to you.
I mean, if this strike doesn’t happen, people are still stuck having to buy weekly tickets cos they MUST get to work. But then metrorail still makes all this money IF NOT A F@CKLOAD MORE!!!

Conspiracy theory maybe…????
Is this how Metrorail has decided to make money to pay these workers more wages?

So there is the story…What do you think personally? Do you think this is a sinister plan by Metrorail to increase profits to pay workers?

Metrorail: Like a sinister fox! (See what I did there? I also did this to keep the boys attention…FOCUS GUYS…GOSH! I would so make Megan happy…)

But this is typical of the totally unstable manner in which the world runs. If we really think about it, the basic workings of the world are built on poor people. They are poor, so will take any work they can get. Because they need to take any work, they will also take any pay.

And so us who are well off can continue to live our lives as they are, without paying vastly more for the basic things. Everything on which we rely is based on cheap labour somewhere. Food, clothing, the people who work at the shops that sell us food…all these people are paid very poor wages.

So while everyone says “Oh how can so and so demand a 10% wage increase?” A 10% increase on R3000 or so is only R300. What are you expected to do on R3000? The only reason we can continue to buy things so cheaply is because there are people working for very little money. Pick ‘n Pays prices would increase vastly if each worker were to earn at least R80000 per month. But then the top dogs would need to take a salary cut, OR the cost would need to be passed to the consumer.

With strikes, there is only so long that workers can hold out (Without pay) before they have to work again, otherwise they will literally die. So we read about these things in the paper, carry on living our awesome lives and wait for the strikes to pass, and then we carry on cruising again as if nothing had happened.

It’s the way of the world and the unstable and unsustainable system on which the world is built. The fact is, there is enough ‘stuff’ in the world to go around, it’s just that most of the stuff in the world is concentrated in a small percentage of the world.

The world is constantly balancing on a knife edge because it is run by the workers who are paid very little. Unfortunately for them, the rich simply overpower them with money…so they can strike for as long as they like, but they will go bankrupt long before their employers and they will have to get back to work. It’s a power imbalance in the world, not only here.

And while we all want equality in the world, I bet that nearly all of us are unwilling to give up the great things in our lives. Imagine earning less, but than paying the ‘real’ prices on things. Imagine every car was R500000? Imagine every iPod was R10000?

The real cost of things is astonishing, but it’s kept down by cheap labor.

If you’re not quite sure what I’m talking about, watch The Story Of Stuff, actually you have to watch it, it’s great and explains, in about twenty minutes, everything you need to know about this world. You can watch it HERE

Unfortunately, the worlds systems are carrying too much momentum to stop.

And the only thing that can and will stop this momentum, is the complete eradication of the worlds resources, which isn’t too far away at the rate we’re trashing the planet.

God, I probably sound like your mom! (Who’s quite nice by the way) Or Al Gore.

But this is all true.

Peace!

I know commenting is not the big thing here at SLXS (Cos we’re all lank busy!), but it would be great to hear some opinions on this Metrorail story…I’m intrigued…

I’m a little worried here, as I’m pretty sure this is my 3rd or 4th mention of Locnville which may very well put me in the stalker category. I mean, have you seen the madness surrounding Andrew and Brian? It’s insane!

If I were them I’d be attacking it from all angles! Check some of these pearls from their Facebook page:

But this is my favorite!

At first I was like, should I blank the names out? But I shouldn’t because it’s on a public Facebook page, owned. You do realise that I’m a Facebook pirate and I happen to be notorious for finding this stuff? I’m just saying, you should think before you post stuff because you WILL end up on SLXS!

I enjoyed that quite a bit though, why do chicks lose their minds so much? I see celebs and actually couldn’t care less really. Well unless they’re female, I do try throw out a sick vibe in case they want to marry me. I’ll always marry for the superficial stuff like looks and money!

Oh damn, forgot the video, here it is:

Check all the usual suspects in the video! Manthe, Mace…I was kind of expecting Westcott, Rolly and G to make an appearance!

Awesome times.

I’m not sure if you’ve heard of Mark Hunter ‘The Cobra Snake’ but he is awesome!

The basic story is that he photographs all the top parties in the world, shmoozing with celebs and traveling with the likes of Steve Aoki. A Canon 5D camera is all The Cobra Snake seems to need, and he is throwing out a sick vibe! I love his photos not because they’re the best (They’re probably not), but just because of the people he captures and the way he is…he throws it down retro.

Mark Hunter AKA The Cobra Snake

I think with photographer it’s important to bring a sick energy to the places that you are photographing, to put people in a good mood and get those shots. The Cobra Snake was in Cape Town with Steve Aoki and captured some cool shots, as seen here by these two photos from The Assembly in Cape Town:

Both photos (VIA)

I’m absolutely in love with rock/music photography, the energy and moods at these events is insane. It’s not posing like on the Camps Bay strip, it’s raw and energetic and mad and pure. and that’s what photography should be, it shouldn’t be posing in Tiger until you get the perfect shot for your Facebook profile. All photography should be like this.

I love it!

Anyway, thought I’d let you know, but Google Mark Hunter the Cobra Snake and you’ll find some cool interviews with the guy, living the dream, keeping it real.

Click HERE for the Cobra Snakes gallery from Steve Aoki in Cape Town. And check out the rest of his galleries on his website, very cool stuff.

What a kiff oke!

Sick!

I don’t throw around the word ‘tit’ lightly, only in special cases.

And let me tell you something! A while back, and I’m not sure if this is still the case because I don’t hang out with these people, some people were calling things ‘tit’

As in “Shit bru those sunnies of yours are tit!”

I can categorically state that I HAVE NEVER and WILL NEVER condone this sort of behavior. And if you partake in this behavior, I’m sorry, but we simply cannot be friends. I was going to say lovers, but I’m pretty sure no girls say ‘tit’ anyway.

I mean it’s like saying “Christ China, these pants are dick hey?”

No no my son…you’re the dick.

Anyways, some people do drive like tits, case in point being the following situation, which drives all the blood from it’s 24 hour home in my massive, THROBBING member, into my head, causing a head rush, and therefore fury as my member is starved of it’s lifeline. Due to my technical abilities on the computer, I just made this technical drawing on Dreamweaver…or HTML…SHUT UP…like I don’t know the program that makes drawings on computers!

All I’m saying is do not ever in the presence of The Sean attempt to turn right across two lanes in rush hour traffic. You’ve seen people being beaten due to road rage, correct?

Well unless you want me to smack you to death with my limp member, then pile drive you with my JACK, then best you avoid driving like that.

I’m just saying…unless you’re one of my Biscuit Mill groupies who enjoys being impaled by my diamond cutter, then don’t drive like that.

(I apologies in advance for this post, have you ever drunk Monster energy drink? Ha ha, drink it and this type of writing happens!)

One of my minor fascinations for a while has been musicians and how passionate they are, how it’s really not about the money but rather about the passion. If you look at any musician playing gigs around town, there is almost certainly no one doing it for money or fame, they’re doing it because they love it. If money and fame comes along, cool, but that’s not the motivation.

I’m pretty excited about American Idols tonight because Lee Dewyze is surely going to win!

When they said on the show that he had previously worked in a paint shop, I thought maybe his musical background was limited, but it seems he released an album in 2007.

I was browsing CD Baby and found it.

CD Baby is an interesting story, and you should read up more about the man who started it all, Derek Sivers. Basically, he’s a minimalist to a certain degree. He’s spoken about why he won’t get an iPhone, because his phone does everything that he needs. He sold CD Baby for some $22 million and put it in a trust, and now takes 5% of that ($1.1 million) per year to live on. Still good money! But when Derek dies, all the money from the trust goes back into music. He’s passionate like that and lives his life like that which is phenomenal.

Anyway, CD Baby sells music online for independent artists, and it’s a great resource for finding music that not many people will know about. Sometimes it’s in this where we find the best music. The best musicians are working the hardest but have not been discovered yet by the major labels, who need to make sure that music is commercial enough to sell. But CD Baby offers independent artists a platform to sell their music, and this is where I found Lee Dewyzes album.

So if you’re a fan of his and keen to check out his 2007 album, then click HERE for all of it on CD Baby.

And click HERE for a great interview with Derek Sivers.

Die Antwoord play at The Temple, 25 June 2010. R50 per ticket. Only 200 pre-sold available.

Click HERE to buy.

As a Z-List blogger, I obviously rely on free stuff to keep on trucking. So either winning stuff or being given stuff needs to feature high on my priority list. So I just need to say thanks to the Steri Stumpie Crew for delivering a 6 pack last week (Thanks Anika) with all sorts of stickers and my Steri Passport. So last week I picked up my Steri passport and by new Dutch passport, sick!

Only 2 left…naughty!

My underwear/pant collection — Sexual

I am now easily able to get hold of Steri with my passport, as well as the odd bit of herb with my Dutch bad boy.

Yeeeeeee hoooooo!

Then I also picked up Herschelle Gibbs sunglasses from Big Sport Management in Cape Town last week after winning them on Twitter. So thanks to Herschelle and Big Sport Management for that!

Yeah this is how we look at the moment!

Funny enough, Big Sport Management have a new competition coming up where you can win a Blackberry, sweet!

Click HERE to follow them and win.

Click HERE to follow Herschelle Gibbs on Twitter.

So thanks to everyone, that is awesome.

Dammit this stuff looks good! The Body Shop are releasing the Body Shop Sport White Musk.
And unlike my Nike’s which no doubt use slave labour (Which I choose to overlook because they’re AWESOME), The Body Shop goes for a fair trade angle.

Complete the opposite direction of that GAP top of mine!

Check this out, which I kindly took from LiveEco:

The Body Shop introduces a zesty new fragrance range designed for active men on the move: White Musk® Sport. Whether you´re working out at the gym, pounding the pavements or powering across the pitch, you´re now fully equipped for the challenge ahead.

Packed with invigorating grapefruit and lemon fused with sensual amber, this fresh, clean fragrance captures the essence of the active man. The White Musk® Sport range doesn´t just smell good, it does good. The fragrance also contains Community Trade alcohol made from sugar cane that’s organically grown and produced in Ecuador. The collection also features Community Trade honey from organic sources and skin-caring Community Trade organically grown aloe vera from Guatemala.

The White Musk® Sport range is perfect for the man who loves the sporty outdoor life. The scent takes inspiration from the popular White Musk® for Men range but has has a modern, youthful, energetic twist and gives you that fresh, just showered feeling.

White Musk® Sport is available as Eau de Toilette (100ml, R195), Hair & Body Wash (200ml, R105) and Anti-Perspirant Deodorant (75ml, R65). There is also a gift box set to match, created from FSC certified woodland resources.

The White Musk® Sport range is available in-store, 7 June 2010.

And (t)IT’S (mcgee) lank cheap too. Did I just use the word ‘lank’? Oh ja!

I spotted that over at LiveEco, you have seen it, correct? It’s an entire listing/blog network/ news network of eco friendly things. Click HERE to go there.

Take me to pleasure town! Oh we’re going there!

Perfect for all you hippies and Al Gore types.

You are following the Patrick O’Shea piece I wrote, right? Well actually I wrote a 9 liner piece on O’Shea properties closing down, that basically turned itself into some sort of story book with the all the juicy details of what happened. Check this latest comment:

22 May 2010

I have nothing nice to say about Patrick and his wife. I worked for them, and although I can’t say he owes me anthing financial because I played the same card at the end – ‘If you don’t pay all my commission Patrick, I’ll sue you and drag your name through the paper’. He paid up – even a deal that took over a year to complete.

He pays well, but boy, you earn it. The problem is simple. Patrick sold office equipment before he bought the Master Franchise. He got the best in to buy his franchises, but he co-owned or had to take back failed branches as part of the legal agreement. He is the epitomy of idiocy and his wife is a joke. To treat the sales of property in the same light as a fax machine was a joke. His ’sales training’ was stupid, focussed on fax machines and a waste of my time.

A meeting with Patrick was him at his laptop, Blackberry on the side, cell phone next to that – and he would alternate between the 3 whilst you were trying to explain the difficulties with sales, and what you felt as a long standing professionals, what you needed from him to increase market share and bottom line. He never listened, had his own narrow minded opinion (which was always about when he was in office equipment), and refused to listen.

He took my idea of developments in Mauritius and excluded me, totally, even though I gave him everything. He also took my idea of opening his own property company (albeit too late), and selling Engel & Volkers, but because he tried to do it himself, knowing diddly squat about property and managing people – talking to people mind you, he lost everything. Naturally it takes a long time to wind things up with liquidations, and so he is still enjoying some of his material possessions which he is obsessive about.
A very sad sad situation – how two people can steal from others, even family and friends, and still enjoy ‘their’ property which is probably protected by some or other ownership title. Ill gotten gains will only earn them ulcers.

I wish them all the treatment by others that have been metered out in their time. Siobhan, Patrick is a cheat – he had numerous affairs, so why you are still with him and standing by him is beyond me. I guess you propably did the same, so all is fair in love and war.
To the family who I think did not suspect a thing. I am sorry this all happened to you and I hope your lives turned around for the better, and that you will find happiness. I hold no judgment against most of you. Ryan Cohen, I am not so sure. Patrick’s puppet on a string. You must develop more back-bone than allow yourself to be dragged to the same level as Patrick.
Before I resigned, I phoned the ex managers, current managers, randomly selected staff members to contact and ask how they felt about working for Patrick – I did not have one person who had anything nice to say about him – in fact, the level of hatred was astounding. Most were in the process of moving to other companies, as they just could not take it anymore.
I wrote to Hamburg – a letter of complaint regarding the fact that I had to register myself and my agents under my own real estate company so that we were legal, as we had not been registered as Patrick said he would, that we were being paid our of funny companies – I think there was even a car wash once, and that bills were not paid, our Telkom account had been cut off, and the landlords wanted to know when they were getting paid. A year after I had stormed out there, I got calls from Cyberagent wanting to know when they were getting paid. A joke.

I am now out of the industry, and although I believe strongly in the Engel&Volker brand, I will never deal with them, even though Patrick has no vested interest anymore.
Patrick, I hope I bump into you one day – not to be mean, but to shake your hand and thank you for teaching me one thing: That new money is cheap, that high fliers that think they are the Godfather of their industry are nothing of the sort, and not to be impressed by fancy cars, houses, champagne and name dropping. That is what you taught me – people like you and your wife are shallow idiots who are essentially uneducated in the most fundamental senses.

You will never enjoy peace – your children will always feel shame when they read things like this blog and for that, I pity them.
In my line of work, it is very possible I will come across you – and the cards will be turned. I look forward to that day.

Oh, anyone know anything about that developer in Sea Point who supposedly committed suicide, yet there is some murder investigation where Patrick’s name has apparently been mentioned as a suspect because he owed this poor chappie so much money? I heard a vague story last night – would be interested to know how much is true, who the poor chap was and if there are any links to sites relating.

To all those who suffered under the ‘leadership’ of Patrick O’Shea, I wish you all the best in the world, that you learn to forgive and move on as I did. He is not as important as he would like to think he is. I only came across this site because I was looking for something relating to this developers death – and was not surprised at all the hate mail. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. One day you’ll meet up with Patrick again and you can be the kind of person he should have been to you. Don’t be nasty to him – you merely bring yourself down to the same level. Be better, and show him how to treat others.

Hey, how about that? There are 85 comments on that article so if you like high society skandaal…then check it out HERE.

Awesome!

Kia have launched a fantastic new competition with some great prizes which you’re going to love, because you can win tickets to the 2010 FIFA World Cup™. Which is in South Africa! I know…

And it’s really easy to win, all you need to do is follow the following instructions:

Join the Kia South Africa Facebook Fan Page and complete The Kia Experience quiz to enter the competition. To do this, you simply need to click on the banner below where you will enter on the Facebook page.

What exactly is the Kia experience you may be asking? The Kia Experience prize is to join 12 other global bloggers from 18 – 21 June 2010, to stay at the new Rosebank Holiday Inn Hotel, attend one 2010 FIFA World Cup ™ match and a day trip test driving the All New Kia Sportage. How rad is that?! So right about now (Monday morning) is a good time to start practicing good karma and positive thinking. Read The Secret, quick!

If you don’t claim the main prize, then there is still the Sony Cybershot camera to giveaway and  a 2010 FIFA World Cup™ South Africa PS3 EA game to giveaway

So when is this competition ending then? The competition runs from 20 to 25 May and the winner will be announced on 2 June 2010. A panel of judges will select the best entry and the terms and conditions are included on the Facebook Entry Form.

And a surprise like this so early on a Monday morning can only be courtesy of Kia!

“Kia Motors The power to surprise”

Because I’m a ‘blogger’, this hardly constitutes a pick up line for the ladies. If anything it shows that I’m the trash of society! Which is bloody amazing I tell you.

So because I don’t have an easy time with the ladies, like say Locnville do, I need to always be ahead of everyone in the events I need to attend and bring the ladies to. Which is what I’m here for today. You know Top Loader, right? No?

You know ‘Dancing In The Moonlight’?

Chicks dig this kind of stuff! It melts their heart and if you play your cards right…their clothes might melt off too. Not literally because then you might be an arsonist held up for killing someone. So don’t take it literally…

So this Dancing In The Moonlight song, let’s have a looky looky woo:

Now tell me you’re not going to come right to that! Well if you’re not, then I surely am once I send the word out to some eager Stellenbosch students.

I”M JOKING KATY! I told you I wouldn’t let your name out, so don’t worry, this mouth is zipped.

I sometimes wonder, why would they make it so easy to come right? And then I realised it’s because we deserve it. We get paid about 20% less than the people in Joburg, but I’ve realised that this is our tax for having a mountain, ocean, supermodels, movie stars and no tools at every club wearing Ed Hardy while trying to spike you with their overly gelled siff hair. And it’s a tax I’m willing to live with!

So Top Loader (Your get ass for R100 ticket to success) are playing in Cape Town, at Karma Lounge in Camps Bay on Friday the 29th of May 2010. Oh-ma-word-ma-bru! THAT”S NEXT FRIDAY!

Best you move before these bad boys sell out, because at R100 per ticket, they are not going to last long at all. It is a scientific fact that if you are female, you will be leaving with me after the show next Friday. It’s not up to you whether this happens, it’s up to chemistry and genetics. And fortunately for you, next Friday, Top Loader are going to make our stars align while they play their baby making music.

I look forward to our first date!

Buy your tickets HERE.

Look I’m just saying, for the common and highly searched term (Getting us a few hits…thousand) ‘Locnville Deluxe Edition’, SLXS is at number 1 on this new Google thing.

Because of the SEO DEMON that I am, and my search engine optimisation knowledge (HA!), this consistently nets me results like this. You know…keeping up with the big boys. Sorry, I am being ridiculous here. But honestly I was wondering why I was getting so many hits (Now 300 a month!) and then I realised…yes, Locnville do this to a website.

Which leads me to believe that a lot of teenage girls are reading SLXS. Which begs the question…how many twisted drug addicts are going to be produced once they stop reading newspapers, and start reading SLXS? My guess is thousands and that’s being conservative.

Now we just need to start posting about Justin Bieber, and our male/female teenage ration will be even.

And then the next question, how do we make money out of these buggers once they’re on the site?

Crack? CD’s? School books?

Let me know…

Oh in other news, with no advertising, no hype, no SEO and not many blogroll links form other blogs, SLXS is sitting on a Google Page Rank of 3 (Not that it matters), and on Afrigator we’re ranked at number 55 of the South African blogs.

So thank you all for the support! You guys might just keep me blogging (If you’ve been following me on Twitter, I did make a mention of me stopping soon. It’s not an easy decision but one that may happen very soon, and something I’ve been thinking of for a while now)

I’ll keep you updated.