I was reading quite an amusing article in the You magazine (Don’t ask)  this afternoon concerning George Michael and his little four week trip to Cape Town. Apparently George Michael arrived in South Africa about five weeks ago, and no one even really noticed. He took a weeks break in a lodge near The Kruger National Park, and then shimmied his way to Cape Town to stay in a R75 million mansion in Clifton.

It’s one of the reason celebrities love Cape Town so much, because we don’t really care how much money or how famous these celebrities really are. We’ve got Cape Town and that’s more than enough for us! But it’s cool to have all the celebs cruising in to come check out what we’re up to (Nothing really…chilling)

So this Nettleton Road villa in Cape Town is fairly phenomenal, and comes in at a phenomenal price. I’m basing this on the photo provided in You magazine, and because I know Cape Town SO well, I immediately knew which villa it was. This villa in Clifton is currently going for around R40000 per night. In summer you’re looking at rates ranging from around R60000 to around R105000 per night.

And for the 2010 World Cup? They’re asking nearly R400000 per night.

Yeah, that’s the type of cash that Cape Town merely plays with! Come on, it’s a small price to pay for this lifestyle.

But you want to live the dream don’t you? You want to hang out with us, don’t you? Well it’s going to cost something. Looking is for free, but touching…that’ll cost you something!

Imagine living there? Rain soaked winter nights filled with HOUSE PARTIES! Sun drenched summer days filled with HOUSE PARTIES! You’d never even need to try and come right, coming right actually jsut comes standard with that place. It’s why people become rich, for easy hook ups.

“Hi” You say to a lady.

“Hi there” She says.

“I…live…in a R75 million villa in Nettleton Road and…”

“How many kids do you want?” She’ll interrupt.

“None” You’ll say.

“No strings attached raucous nights?” She’ll purr.

“Of course”

You’ll hop into your Pagani Zonda and completely OWN the night. I like the sound of that.

Some people dream of coming to this city their whole lives, and we’re already here!

You do know how lucky you are, don’t you? I think you do! You should be seducing yourself right now.

I’m seducing myself. Barry White. Lionel Richie.

Do it to me one more time…

I love you. xxx

Click Afford This Villa for the sorts of money that will afford you this lifestyle.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Seen for the latest round of insurance ads:

Kyk die kop

Lek-aaaaaaaaah! No doubt the guy cutting his hair just said “Hou my dop vas en kyk hierdie maneuver”

This reminds me of that time at Tiger, or Blue Bar, when Schalk was there. He accidentally breaks a glass and some drunk guy shouts from across the bar:

“Don’t worry he’s got Outsurance!”

Face it, that IS funny!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I won’t post the video here, I find videos slow things down too much here in my fast paced life, but if you’re heading to Godskitchen and Armin Van Buuren, then you’ll want to watch this (Thanks Mitch)

Click HERE to see what’s going to happen in Cape Town.

And then you’ll realise what an idiot you are if you’re not going to the event. Click HERE to read more on the Godskitchen Boombox event in Cape Town and get tickets.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I must be honest, our Joburg boys sure know how to choose cars! While Cape Town buggers around with Phantoms, Ferraris and Lambos, the Joburg guys go “Oh let’s take the piss!” and roll out in a Pagani Zonda. We were on a peace keeping mission in Joburg (For the greater good of mankind) and at once needed a place to crash, so we looked for the cheapest accomodation we could and rocked into the Michelangelo in Sandton. Apparently it’s 5 star.

Is that good?

So anyway, check the Zonda. Now I’m not sure whose car it is, but I like! I’m not sure of costing, someone said around R10 million, but I’m really not sure as I haven’t been looking if I must be completely honest with you (Liars get Danny K tracks pumped into their ears for eternity)

A Bentley quietly chilling in the background

Big up to Joburg though, do any of you guys drive cheap cars? No?

Thought not judging by what was seen.

Crisis! I love it!

“So hows the recession treating Joburg?” I ask around the braai.

“Hey? I don’t understand the question”

Brilliant!

And just in case you are in fact in love with the Pagani Zonda, I’ll give one away. If we help each other out here.

Seriously, we’ll go crazy. It’ll be a sexual joyride.$1 to touch it while I touch your toes.

$2 to touch it while you touch my toes.

You get the picture. Let’s win this bad boy.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I’ve been scouting for houses that I know you’ll buy in Cape Town, and I really can’t get Villa Lara out of my head. Villa Lara isn’t actually for sale, but once you have…oh…say 27 million pounds in your bank account, I’ll personally give Chris a call and get the bidding started. Villa Lara has, and always will be, my soft spot. Everytime I’m there, or even near there, I get this warm feeling inside and just want to drink Villa Lara, or roll it up and eat it. So right now you’re either living in Cape Town or you’re not. If you are, you’re in the centre of the dream, and you need that special something to top it off.

If you’re not in Cape Town, then there is clearly something wrong with you, and you need a lot of money to get here, and live thed dream. I’m going to show you a quick couple of pics of my one true love:

Ah yeah…that’s Cape Town by the way. That’s what we do for a living. Rock ‘n roll excess! Where are you? Oh…England? Oh that’s cool. Perth? Ok, nice one, DUDE.  While today’s pound exchange rate is about R12 to a pound, at 27 million pounds you’re looking at a cool R324 million, give or take a few bucks. I think it’s fairly safe to say that WE will be able to buy Villa Lara once tonight’s draw is over.

We’ll bask in the sunlight, we’ll write books, seduce ourselves and live the Entourage dream. We’ll be one step closer to having full control of the city!

Keen? Play below, let’s win Villa Lara. I’ll tell you now that I’m in it to win it. I’ve watched The Secret, and only good vibes.

See you at the villa. The first party? Everyone’s invited.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I’ve just been taking a look through this months ManMail and I know you’ll love it!

It’s full of wine, food, braai’s, women, fashion, books, movies, accessories, clothing and the best thing of all is that it’s…free! Ja…all you have to do is click the link I’m going to give you, and you’ll own it. It’ll be yours!

My precious (Hold it like that Lord of the Rings thing would…except that it’s inside the computer, so you can’t hold it…but you get the point)

From now on it will be simple to download it because I have conveniently asked Bill Gates and Steve Jobs to create a “link” They designed this object and the word “link” specially for me so it’s quite something. And it didn’t even cost me anything.

“For you Sean…the world”

Thanks, DUDES!

Ok I am getting a little bit into weekend mode here but simple click the link below to get your free ManMail.

Oh as I was saying from now on the link will be on the left side of this “page”, which you will see. If you’re a potato, I’ll simplify it and show you.

Sean just completed his Advanced PhotoShop Classes.

There we go. I don’t think I can do that much more to make your life more successful, sexual and wealthy.

Zooooooooom…And I’m gone!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

BELLVILLE VELODROME, CAPE TOWN, 15 JUNE 2009

EXPO CENTRE, JOHANNESBURG, 13 JUNE 2009

Godskitchen is once again going to stamp its authority in South Africa. Following on a hugely successful debut in the Ukraine, which saw the attendance of 16,000 fans, the “Godskitchen BoomBox” will be making its way to Johannesburg and Cape Town where South African fans will be able to experience this unique structure. This extraordinary production is a must see and will be landing in South Africa along with the worlds number one DJ Armin Van Buuren.

Armin will man the controls of this colossal rectangular structure housing state-of-the-art DJ equipment as Godskitchen debuts this unique architectural,multimedia, visual and music event concept in South Africa. The “Boombox” acts as a giant screen from which an astounding combination of lighting and visuals can be projected in perfect synchronisation with the music. Godskitchen has become renowned for combining the biggest DJs on the planet with groundbreaking production that bedazzles crowds in excess of 15000.

The Godskitchen Boombox is the brainchild of ’1024′, the people behind Exyzt, the Parisian based design collective who are pioneers of structural projection and responsible for numerous art and cultural design installations across Europe. At over 16 metres wide, 8 metres high and 6 metres deep the structure combines next generation technology whilst marrying architecture with art.

Armin Van Buuren, Paul Van Dyk, David Guetta, John Dahlback, ATB, Sander Van Doorn and Judge Jules are just a smattering of the names set to perform in the “Godskitchen Boombox” around the world, following in the paths of Eric Prydz, Above & Beyond, Markus Schulz, Mauro Picotto and Josh Gabriel. Armin was recently voted #1 in DJ Magazine’s Top 100 poll and along with tulips and Edam, is one of Holland’s most popular exports.

Armin Van Buuren entertained 16000 people at the largest indoor event ever in the Ukraine and more recently played Godskitchen in Poland. For event info, ticket purchases and to view video clips, amazing images and behind the scenes footage, please click the below links:

UrbanWave

Godskitchen

Tickets for the shows on Johannesburg on Saturday the 13th of June and in Cape Town on Monday 15 June are available from Computicket.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Well, not singular tickets, but hospitality packages! That’s right, I’ve just got the call.

I was actually half way to Noordhoek (Like…right now) when I received an e-mail from the SA Sport Travel team letting me know that should I be in Pretoria (We were in Joburg prior, with the Pagani Zonda — photos still to come)  I can still watch the game. I let them know that tickets were sold out and they mentioned that they have this all sorted out for me, and my readers!

I won’t go into any detail here, I’ll simply send you along to the page where the two hospitality options are located.

There is a Suite and Hospitality Package, as well as a more affordable Supporters Hospitality Package.

Click HERE to see the Bulls vs Chiefs game live on Saturday!

(Please enjoy that I’m typing this from the side of the road — 3G YEAH!)

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

More from our Facebook war! I can’t claim this, but G Sent it in, awesome!

 I mean, come now, that IS rad!

Got any of your own hilarious comments on peoples status updates, or the like? Send them in! We won’t publish names or anything, so you’re (Fairly) safe.

Drop them to me on e-mail: seanl (at) slxs (dot) co (dot) za

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I very excite!

I very excite!

I nearly had pants explosion other day. I was rummaging through my e-mails and came across one from Twitter, informing me that Arthur Kade was following me. Now upon further investigation, it would seem that this is not the real Arthur Kade. Apparently.

Lucky me!

Personally, I think it is the real Arthur Kade, who then pretends that he is not. The fact is, the “fake” Arthur Kade is absolutely hilarious! To those of you not aware of who Arthur Kade is, he is this up and coming movie star overseas who rates himself beyond belief.

The thing is, his stories are so self obsessive, vain and arrogant that it has naturally led people to believe that his journey is something of a marketing ploy, by someone or something that we don’t know. Marketing ploy by a corporation, or just by Arthur Kade himself, his plan is working. Let me just get you going with some quotes from the real Arthur Kade website:

“I will drive home in the morning and then back to the shore for a HUGE party at The Chelsea and The Pool at Harrah’s with Kim Kardashian, so I will make sure that our table is placed near hers, so that the party is off the hook and hot.  Rumor is Justin Timberlake is at The Chelsea so if he is we will probably be introduced”

“I did see some guy holding his girlfriend back who wanted to talk to me, and I heard him saying, “Not now, not now” to her. I wonder if she wanted to meet me or just say something?”

“After another amazing night at The Chelsea (It has overtaken Mur Mur as my fav’ AC lounge), where I was walked in by people at the hotel, and past a HUGE line (Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to not be treated like a VIP)”

“I was sharing a room with my boy (We had old-style bunk beds) and one of the girls kept coming in the room to ask if she could sleep with us. It was so annoying because I told her to show me her body first, and finally I decided to let her sleep in bed with me, only if we hooked up”

“Why can’t girls just know that if they drink they look like idiots, and if they want to hang with someone on my level then they need to bring their ‘A’ game”

Honestly, this guy is SUCH a prick, that I know you will love him! He is completely over the top, and even though his looks are far from what you’d consider good looking in Cape Town (Home to some top models, including Shaun de Wet and you’ll see Damien van Zyl here as well…ladies, click those names for links. In fact I’m sure it was Shaun de Wet who I saw at Karma around two weeks ago), he still thinks he is awesome.

Want some Kade-erade?! Yussus…check that skeg

Being such a tool cannot be easy and you simple have to read Arthurs website. It’s not enough for him to mention how awesome he is once or twice in an article, instead, every sentence is crafted around him being awesome (In his mind) and an utter tool in everyone elses mind!

Now this brings me onto his Twitter page (Apparently fake, but it simply MUST be him!)

Check out some of his Tweets:

“Going to do some tanning for my starring role on Love Taxi. I use the stand up booths because the ones you lay down in are too small for me”

“I’m on a self imposed drought right now, mostly because I don’t want to waste my time with a less than perfect 10″

“Still can’t get over the nerve of the door man at The Pool who tried to charge me a cover. I’m thinking of having him fired. What a douche”

“My step mom’s mom dying makes me realise that I never want to die. I live such an amazing lifestyle of success, travel, partying & hot girls”

“It is amazing how people ‘recognise’ star quality, even when it’s just dressed casually and hanging out by the pool”

“Sitting at the hottest table for brunch. Manager obviously using my crew’s ‘it factor’ to attract more business. Getting great service though”

“I haven’t run into Justin Timberlake yet (I call him J.Tim), but I’ve really been too busy. It will happen”

Oh. My. Glory.

Are you taking in what just happened? Personally, I am absolutely shattered! Plutz! Again, that is his “fake” Twitter account, but it can only be him!

Imagine trying to act like such a doos, ALL THE TIME?!!

It must be phenomenal. I think what we have is someone who has taken Ari Gold and placed him on  horse steroids. This is Ari Gold unplugged. This is absolute demon of Ari Gold! Surely no one can act like this, and be real?

My guess is that we’ll be seeing a book and a movie on this guy, who attempted to live the most rock star, wank infested lifestyle on the planet. He is surely only doing this to garner material for a book or a movie. I can’t even choose words to describe him. You need to see this for yourself.

For the Arthur Kade website, click HERE. And please, do click the permalink on the articles, the comments are too beautiful! There are even people who are now taking to saying “Sipping on some Kade-erade” Like Gatorade. C-R-A-Z-Y!

And click HERE for ArthurKadeInc on Twitter.

To be honest, I’m exhausted after all of this!

And you thought I was arrogant…ha!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

If you look at my jeans, you will notice a distinct wear pattern around the ankles. Not where my jeans hit the ground (Because they don’t), but just a general wear around the ankle region. This is quite embarrassing, but this wear pattern is from men.

Men constantly hanging onto me as I run away, begging to know how to live the lifestyle, how to hang out with all the women, and just how to be rad! I don’t have time to answer everyones questions, and so I run away. The clutching of me has left my jeans worn.

Anyway, today I drop the first major tip. Women love cars, and you can drive a Ferrari and look like a donkeys arse and the chances are you’ll come right. You can be Lyle Lovett, drive a Lambo…and you’ll come right. Often though, the illusion of having things is what you want. I’ve never thought it impressive when people use possessions to attract girls. Because you’re always wondering how these girls are using you, and you wonder if they really love you, and if you lost it all, would they stick with you?

Your chance for a foot in the door is to hint at some wealth. If a girl asks what car you drive, or the topic comes up, drop that “I roll in a TT”

Now a TT isn’t that great I’ll admit but at least you can spend under 100k, and “TT” sounds good.

You pick her up in your car

Toyota Tazz

Now is the time to look at the expression on her face. Does she laugh, and realise that you were making a joke the entire time, but still love you?

Or does she walk away, shocked that it’s not an Audi that you’re driving?

If she is the former, then you’re good to go!

If she’s the latter, she’s not worthy of your time anyway. Go back to her when you’re wealthy.

So use the classic TT trick to see whether a girl really loves you. Its a tried and trusted method!

Remember, you can be a good looking guy and poor, and you’ll do alright. Simply marry rich. You can be an ugly guy and rich, and you’ll be alright!Another two tips right there.

You didn’t even see them coming!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Ha! How ironic would it be if Virgin bought Playboy? Hilarious.

But really, this is quite sad news because according to reports (Source), Hugh Hefner may consider selling Playboy to Virgin. The brand that Hugh built has not been doing so well, no doubt to advertiser cut backs, but also due to the nature and scope of porn available on the internet. When Playboy started in the 50′s, the internet was not around, but now we can find everything we want online.

Hugh really is a legend and even though Playboy may not run under his throne anymore, it will continue to be a defining point in history. From his flamboyant, hedonistic lifestyle at The Mansion which has inspired many (Myself included), to more recently The Girls Next Door.

The Hef can and will wear salmon!

Hef started Playboy some 56 years ago and may sell it for $300 million.

It’ll be sad to see Hugh sell as he’s been inspiration for generations of players! But when you look around and see people living the dream lavishly, you’ll know that they have Hugh as inspiration and so Playboy will always be around us.He’s a founding father of excess, and whatever happens, he’s still the man!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Due to my various engagements (Not of a marriage type), I often find it very difficult to remember certain situations. I’ll forget someones name, or an entire evening. It’s not that I’m rude, in forgetting peoples names, but due to my creative side I sometimes drift off and lose the plot of what is currently happening.

Which brings me to…where was I?

Oh, so there have surely been situations where people have said to me (It was a girl!) “You’re the worlds hardest man” I can’t remember this though…again…that creative side.

We’re getting more to what I wanted to speak about.

Ok, so those that know me will know that I do enjoy trail running and you may have seen me on Alphen Trail or in Newlands forest, or just yogging on the yoad.

But there is a man who I saw mentioned in GQ a while back, and he is in this months FHm. So I hope you’re all carrying this months FHM! Besides the girls, I find the article on Dean Karnazes the most fascinating read of my life. The story of Dean Karnazes is that he is the worlds fittest man, and this isn’t some claim to make the story sound cool. He really is the most insane athlete in the world, and he pushes the boundaries of what is possible.

Dean “Kamikaze” Karnazes — I just made the Kamikaze part up right now. No jokes.

They say the body has its limits but the mind doesn’t, but Deans body truly is limitless. He’s run 50 marathons in 50 days. He’s run for three and a third days without rest or sleep (Unheard of). He’s jogged 560km without a break.

In short, he is the worlds toughest man and we’re unlikely to see anything on the scale of DeanKarnazes again. It’s just imposssible to think that someone can run for over three days without sleeping. To me, it seems impossible, bound by the laws of the world. No one should physically be able to do this.

He’s run the Badwater Ultramarathon across Californias Death Valley, and the heat was so outrgaeous that he had to wear a white nuclear fallout suit. On that run, his shoes would melt. Effect of this run included vomiting, hallucinations and diarrhoea. His eyes got so damaged that his vision changed between photographic negative and night vision green, which is hectic to say the least.

There was also a 160km race where Dean outran tow US Army Rangers. One army ranger had pushed his limits so far that he started bleeding out of his ear. Another man on the run pulled out due to acute renal failure.

All of this sounds like some bad movie script, but this man lives. His name is Dean Karnazes and he’s out there re-writing the history books on the human psyche. He’s as tough as nails and there seems to be nothing in the world that can possibly stop him.

He has written a book called “Ultramarathon Man:Confessions of an all night runner” which is available at all good book stores.

I’d highly recommend the June 2009 issue of FHM for this truly insane story.

And click HERE for Deans website.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

DVD Nouveau has always evoked an old school manner in me, hazy views of Portobello Road on a crisp evening, the lights drawing you in to a mythical world where everything is calm and far removed from the city life. Artists, painters and musicians all gathered inside, their postman bicycles laid freely about the shop while they discuss tales of the day. Images of Notting Hill and boutique book stores, discreet coffee shops and creative thinking, record stores with customers lying on couches listening to tracks.

The Travel Bookshop in Notting Hill

In winter when the rain is pouring down outside, the raindrops jogging down the windows, steam crawling up from the manhole covers, and you’re looking for some entertainment, then DVD Nouveau is the boutique store to visit.

DVD Nouveau in Newlands is all this and more and draws in all these creative people. DVD Nouveau have set up their store to feel like home, with warm lighting and friendly staff, plush red couches where you can relax and browse through the vast catalogue of DVD’s including art, cult, foreign, classics, documentaries and television series.

DVD Nouveau — Newlands, Cape Town

The store is built on something difficult to find and very rare these days, and that is customer service and recognition. It feels like you’re coming home and the staff recognise you and chat about the latest releases and their thoughts on the older titles available. They’re friendly and informed, leaving customers to browse at their will, but also being available to help out when needs be.

The double story DVD Nouveau in Newlands, Cape Town, evokes memories of classic video stores that you’ve seen in movies or overseas, but for once, it’s available in Cape Town.

What I’m most impressed with is the vast selection of both old and new titles. You can get anything from The Dead Poets Society to The Godfather films, Schindlers List, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Fried Green Tomatoes, The Big Lebowski and anything else you could possibly think of. Then there is Eddie Murphy Raw (Brilliant!), Ricky Gervais, Dave Chappelle and none other than Eddie Izzard including the favourites Dress to Kill and Sexie. Which I’m sitting with!

Spider-Man popcorn — Because beneath the hedonistic exterior, I’m just a little boy!

Some of the titles available, especially Eddie Izzard, don’t have covers on the shelves so just ask the staff and they’ll bring them up for you. There is hardly a movie they won’t have that you want to see. I go to DVD Nouveau all the time and each time I visit I find another classic I have been meaning to pick up. There are also documentaries including The Blue Planet, Planet Earth and a whle host of Top Gear seasons so they really do have all genres covered.

If you’re into series then everything is available including Little Britain, Entourage, 30 Rock and all your other favourites.

Movies cost R22 to hire, but you get to keep them for two days and there is no specfic time you have to return them by, as long as it is before the end of the day before the shop closes.

With new titles, it is also R22, but you keep them for one day, and again, take it back anytime before the close of the day.

DVD Nouveau really is the only place you need to hire DVD’s from in Cape Town, so go on, take a look around.

You’ll love it.

DVD Nouveau currently have two stores in Cape Town, situated at the following addresses:

28A Kildare Road

Newlands Village

Cape Town

And

166 Bree Street

Cape Town CBD

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I was browsing, at my absolute leisure, the Cape Argus of yesterday and came across the Matric Matters supplement which is supposedly supposed to be a learning aid or something like that for Matric students. Now owing to the quality of editors and sub editors and the like, we have ended up with QUITE a supplement!

Clearly the recession has meant a great deal of cutbacks, and this even stretches to the spelling and grammar department of the Cape Argus supplement which is proudly brought to us by Liberty Life. I obviously didn’t read the whole thing because it’s not remotely interesting to my frazzled mind, but I did spot these three mistakes while literally scanning the supplement for a minute:

Back page of supplement: “Even i you”

Wordlwide? Well done guys, nice one.

Amogst? Really? 

I don’t even want to know what I would find were I to read the entire supplement. My ears would most likely start bleeding and porridge would come spewing out of my head.

It’s that bad.

But at least with Cape Argus and Liberty Life we have a place where kidz can lern 2 read good and do other thingz good to.

Because there’s more to life than being really ridiculously good looking.

Sean Lloyd

Editor