I absolutely LOVE stories like this one! You might recall sometime ago, some absolute legend was found floating in the sea off the Irish coast, surrounded by, oh..um…R1 billion worth of cocaine! Can you imagine? That must be absolutely hilarious. Rescue crews are used to finding people on trees, or in life rafts, but to be floating on bags of cocaine, you are a special kind of special! (Click HERE for the story)

The Po-Po pleased with a catch of R1 billion!

Anyway, our boy Martin Wanden had been living the true excess lifestyle in Cape Town, but a little bit beyond the usual realms that SLXS might promote. Basically he was this cocaine king and decided that Cape Town would be a nice little point to enjoy his drug money. And Cape Town is a great place to enjoy your money, as we all know. But Martin Wanden had gone overboard and was basically boning his wife fuelled by drug money. I assume he boned his wife…

So they find him, clinging to life on bags of cocaine off the Irish coast. Funny enough, him clinging to life was basically him clinging not to his lavish life of old, but to his new life of taking it up the ass with no lube. Awesome!

It’s funny how quickly things change. I mean just the other day I was having a threesome with some supermodels from Brazil, who were on assignment in Cape Town. Now I’m stuck dating a lousy American supermodel, but I take what I can get.

I think Martin Wanden would rather have died off the Irish coast as high as a kite than die sober in a prison with a staunch one in his zero. I mean that would be my choice…surrounded by cocaine…floating in the ocean with the suns rays beaming down on me…in fact that could have been the perfect way to go. But Martins survival instincts kicked and and he would not give up. I will not die today (I think Leo said this in “The Beach”) Martin Wanden will never go on to star in The Beach like Leo, but he will be the bee-atch who will have some guy in him.

I would have taken gulps of sea water and cocaine and gone peacefully like Leo did in Titanic. Leo even came back to life and got to bone Gisele Bundchen a couple of years later. And then Bar Rafaeli. Sometimes dying just seems like the right option. You might not come back to shag 100 virgins, but two super- supermodels would be fine for me thanks!

To quote the Sunday Times:

“SA authorities hope the luxury home, which boasts a spa-bath, a wraparound terrace with a pool, four-car garage and views of the coast, will fetch around R14 million”

Martin Wanden’s Cape Town house in Llandudno

Martin Wanden’s other lair in Hout Bay, Cape Town

Not too bad Nige! I would buy it and rent it out all year round as a Cape Town villa, you will make some good cash. I was at Villa Lara the other day in Llandudno, and I’m sure that’s a cool R20000 per day. You know…obviously I don’t know too much about Cape Town villas…I’m not really in the industry…but we have connections.

But anyway the house in Llandudno, Cape Town, will be auctioned off on August 8, 2008 at 12h00 by ClareMart auction. The auction will take place on site at 4 Sandy Bay Road Llandudno. The next show date for the property is Sunday 27 July 2008 from 2pm – 5pm.

Funny enough, we hang out in the same areas as Martin Wanden did, to those interested. Click HERE to see Casa del Holiday, where we spend our summers in Llandudno. And click HERE for Villa Sandenbergh, where we host our parties in Hout Bay. RAD!

For more information on the auction of Martin Wanden’s coke lair please click HERE.

I knew you would like to know this, nothing captures the imagination quite like drugs and luxury houses in Cape Town!

Sean Lloyd

Editor