Quite a simple one this weekend, and this particularly applies to stalkers, who want to know where I’ll be:

The Vibe Party — It starts tomorrow at 12:00 at The Grand, we’ll be there. So be there!

Cape Epic Time Trial Prologue –  A 27km prologue awaits the riders on Sunday in Tokai Forest, at the Chrysalis Academy. The first riders kick off at 7:00:00, and the last ones at 12:06:30. I’ll be watching that and taking some photos and probably getting sweated on by these beasts. Hot.

Red Bull F1 Showcar Cape Town — It’s now been moved to Killarney Race Track, 27 March, from 13:00. And it’s free!

And that’s it, your weekend sorted.

I’m sure you’ll be excited about this!

The Red Bull F1 Running Showcar takes Formula One to the streets and stops traffic all over the world.

When our sister team, Red Bull Racing was formed back in 2005, a separate squad was established to take a full-spec Formula One car to places and countries where there are no races, to give them a taste of F1. From South Africa to Russia, from Japan to Jamaica, the team’s drivers have been providing the fastest street entertainment on the planet ever since.

As well as promoting the teams around the globe to markets F1 doesn’t otherwise reach, it’s a chance for those countries without a race to get up very close to an F1 car doing what it’s made for. The high-speed runs, burnouts and doughnuts coupled with the noise and fumes make it a thrilling experience.

Marine Drive
Table View
27 March 2011
13h00

YEAH!!

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AT ONCE!!

Get out of your office and get to a Spar TOPS Bottle Store, and buy some Smirnoff products!

For today my tribe, my Chiefs and my Indians, we have one last chance to win tickets to this monumental event.

Armin van Buuren’s ‘A State of Trance 500 Tour’ will start in Johannesburg on 19 March 2011 and then move to Europe, USA, South America and Australia. Armin will play at an exclusive Cape Town show to celebrate the anniversary of his 500th show, ahead of the official Johannesburg show, on the 17th of March 2011.

And check this, Protoculture is playing alongside Armin Van Buuren as well, amongst others:

“The impressive line-up of DJ elite rearing to thrill SA crowds includes Finnish duo Super 8 & Tab, Leon Bolier from the Netherlands and Chicago based Jake Barrel. With a SAMA nomination for his remix work on Goldfish’s Pushing Through track and performances at Glastonbury, Tokyo, Moscow and London under his belt, South African producer Protoculture, will fly the local flag on the decks.”

Tickets to the official show on 19 March 2011 in Johannesburg are available from Computicket. For tickets to the Cape Town exclusive event, purchase a six pack of Smirnoff Storm or Smirnoff Spin or a bottle of Smirnoff Triple Distilled at any TOPS Spar store nationally and stand a chance to win. Competition closes 1 March 2011. Terms and conditions apply.

And where are these Tops stores?

Well, click here for the store locator, and these are the tops stores in the Cape Town area:

Cape Quarter (Greenpoint)
27 Somersets Road, Greenpoint, Cape Town,

Sea Point Tops
Regent Road, Sea Point, CApe Town,

TOPS Kloof
26 Kloof Street, Gardens, Cape Town, Cape Town, Western Cape

TOPS Cape Quarter (Greenpoint)
27 Somersets Road, Greenpoint, Cape Town, Western Cape
Email: cape.quarter1@retail.spar.co.za

TOPS Adderley
Cnr Adderley & Darling Street, Cape Town, Cape Town, Western Cape

And its one lights, two lights, three lights, four lights, five lights.

And it’s green GO GO GO GO!!!!

For more information, please visit SmirnoffSA on Facebook by clicking here.

Oh yeah, here Halo Live go again!

Yeah look, I was going to search through a whole load of Marcel Woods videos, and then got completely sidetracked and started writing another piece of midget tossing!

And then one on the reasons why people should stop investing and start taking drugs, how weird is that? But 100% of the things I want to write sound good in my head, but then are utterly rubbish when I write them, it really sucks. I really need to learn to write better. Betterest? Good? Gooder?

Anyway.

But yes it is in fact true, Marcel Woods is in Cape Town this weekend, and we have 10 tickets to give away!

He’s obviously played in some of the smaller events…*ahem*…Global Gathering, Mysteryland, Dance Valley, Trance Energy, Gatecrasher Summer Sound System, Escape Into The Park, Planet Love and Sanctuary.

But you don’t need to travel all across the planet to see him, because this Friday, Marcel Woods is playing in Cape Town, at Club 91, thanks to our crew at Halo Live! They’re awesome like that, you don’t even ask for things and BANG…they read your mind.

So I have 5 sets of tickets to give away (It’s what I do), all you need to do is give me the name of the ancient, indigenous tribe that used to eat Yak meat in the Egyptian pyramids from 1803-1877…

GO GO GO!!

No I’m joking, I blacked out for a second there.

Tickets are available for R70 at Webtickets, Click here to get yourself those tickets.

WIN TICKETS

You need to tell me what your favourite shoes are to party YOUR FACE OFF in? Converse, Feiyue, whatever, just drop their name by commenting below, and be sure to enter your e-mail address, otherwise I have to drop acid, do a Jedi mind trick, connect to Bill Gates via the 3G (In my mind) and siphon your details out of his brain. Which I can totally do, I just don’t feel like doing it this week.

As Murray Walker would have said:

GO GO GO!!!

I’m not Ryan Sandes, so will be giving this event a skip (Photo Via)

Look, I’m not even going to lie to you.
I promote things on SLXS that I want to, and I promote things that I have bought/am going to buy/ would buy if I had the cash freely available. But sometimes I mention things that are awesome, that I’m just not going to do.
This is one of them!

But I know that you are all crazy and stuff, and some of you like the odd yog (Apparently a new form of exercise, where you move forward at pace for an extended period of time)
Well this is a little different, because it’s a run up and down Table Mountain. Actually, that’s not exactly true. It’s a run up and down Table Mountain, from sunrise to sunset. In that time you need to see how many times you can run up and down Table Mountain.

Now this isn’t my idea of fun because I have The Godfather on PVR and I can watch that on replay from sunrise to sunset. But I will cruise to the mountain on the day and snap some photos of these crazy athletes. The good thing is, it is for charity.

So here are the details, for those of you with a high PAIN tolerance:

On the 9th of April 2011, roughly 100 intrepid Capetonians will attempt to see how many times they can summit Table Mountain, from sunrise to sunset, to raise money for Aids affected, vulnerable and orphaned children.

This is a tough event for the competitors!

Each lap:

Is 5.5km in distance
Has 760 metres of climbing
Includes more than 800 double size steps over a distance of 2.1km ( Up Platteklip Gorge )
Contestants need to run to the upper cable station, catch a lift down and then run back to the start.
Will take approximately 1 – 2 hrs depending on the persons fitness.

You don’t pay to enter, but you have to raise R2000 in sponsorship for your run.

Sounds awesome if you’re fit, I’ll no doubt be watching you guys from the side of the trail somewhere!

Click here for more details and to enter

Click here to buy tickets.

Well, this is in fact the funniest man in Cape Town.

So I got a message from my girlfriend the other day, saying we were going to catch some comedy at Trinity on Tuesday night, and we cruised with Mitch and Claire (Halo Live crew) None of us knew who was going to be on, and no one really stood out, but Dylan Skews.

People don’t read posts without images. So I needed to add one. I couldn’t find one of Dylan Skews, so just got one of old Jonno.

Look, I think the comedy nights at Trinity are an awesome thing, because every comedian needs live show to perfect their performances to get better. It’s all about growing comedians, and some of them are not good, but you know, even the top comedians had people throwing milkshakes at them because their shows were so shit. No one is really good from the beginning, so I can put up with the average performances, it just feels good to be part of something that is growing, and it’s good to allow the guys and girls to perform live, because that way they get better.

But Dylan Skews doesn’t need to get better, and if he does I may honestly die from laughter! Our table laughed from the moment he arrived until the moment he stepped off stage. His views on things such as Kreepy Kraulys, weed, his blow up pool as a kid, home schooling and ‘gay’ sperm were just hysterical. His stoner vibe just adds to the whole performance and his brand of jokes are truly unique, ones that were nothing similar to what I’ve ever heard.

And what really struck me was that none of his jokes really offended anyone. I don’t mind offensive jokes, but I think it takes monumental skill to tell jokes that don’t pick on any one trait of people. It’s easy to pick on the fat guy in the crowd, but it’s really difficult to have the floor dying from laughter, without picking on anyone. To me, that was the standout of his performance. And when he did pick on the dude on the front row, he realised the dude wasn’t that stoked, and quickly turned the joke on himself.

Pure class.

Anyway, Dylan Skews is having a one man show at On Broadway Theatre, Long Street, Cape Town from the 15th until the 26th of February, with a special performance on the 14th of February.

I don’t often get overly excited about event, but I’m urging you to book tickets for this!! The show is called ‘Skews Me’ and I’m really amped for it.

Dylan won the Nando’s Comedy Showdown in 2009, and was the winner of Phat Joe’s comedy show in 2010, where he was named ‘Cape Town’s Next Comedian’ He is honestly the funniest man in this city.

So if you want some easy entertainment, catch ‘Skews Me’ at On Broadway Theatre this month, you won’t regret it.

Click here to buy tickets.

Not this last Friday, but the one before that, I arrived at Pepenero in Cape Town, around 15 minutes late for a little gathering between some of  Cape Town’s top bloggers and and Smirnoff  SA to find out a about something of which I had no idea. I literally arrived there not knowing what they were going to announce.

Now I was late because I was having lunch in Cavendish, not realising what Smirnoff meant by ‘lunch’ I thought it would be snacks and things like that, and I was seriously hungry so had a normal lunch beforehand.

Big mistake.

We were treated to a three course meal, so I started with salad, moved onto the steak and then finished off with fruit salad.

I dig Smirnoff, you just roll into Pepenero and chill round the table with the entire Smirnoff crew as though it’s a family lunch. Which it essentially is, we’re just extended Smirnoff family. I don’t get brands in the modern who are basically one dimensional companies. You know them for a logo, you call them and get through to a call centre. You don’t ever get to really know the brand and the people who drive it. Because every brand is run by normal people with some crazy ideas, but they’re still people, and too often we don’t get to meet them.

This is especially important with social media, it’s important to connect with your audience/promoters through more than just e-mails.

So we sat down and Adrian from Smirnoff (Well actually the marketing manager) dropped the news that Armin Van Buuren will be making an appearance in Cape Town! Before this, we only knew that Armin would be touching down in Johannesburg. Bleak days indeed.

The thought of actually having to go to Joburg was too much and most people were thinking ‘Ah whatever, you guys take Armin for one night, we’ll take the beach, mountain and the lifestyle for the other 99.999% of the year’

Some of the boys have even booked tickets to Joburg to experience Armin. Still a good idea. Why?

Well the Cape Town show is going to be a lot smaller. I’m talking a seriously small. How small?

500 people to be exact. And this isn’t something you often get to experience. Who else can say they were at a party that small and intimate, with one of the worlds greatest DJ’s? There aren’t a lot of people who will ever be able to say that in their lifetime. What’s more, the Cape Town show will be the 500th show of Armin Van Buurens A State Of Trance 500.

Boasting high speed ADSL, ISDN2 and satellite connections for radio and video streaming, the show will be broadcast across the globe from a sound proof, air-conditioned radio studio space built exclusively for the event.

Can you just imagine how mad it is going to be? 500 people. The Worlds Number 1 DJ. Cape Town. Smirnoff.

You just don’t get better than that.

Armin van Buuren, who has been ranked as the world’s number one DJ for four years running in the leading DJ Mag top 100 poll, will be the fifth top international talent brought to South Africa by Smirnoff SA in the last year. Smirnoff brought South Africa the likes of Tiësto for the Smirnoff Experience Mashup Street, DJ Sasha for Smirnoff Experience, Above & Beyond as Smirnoff presented Godskitchen and Monika Kruse, ATB and Markus Schulz who recently brought Berlin’s nightlife alive for the ambitious Smirnoff Nightlife Exchange Project.
Having recently won various awards as Best Global DJ (2010), Best International DJ (2010), Best progressive House / Trance Track (2009) Best Music video (2009) and Best European DJ (2009), it is evident that Armin’s passion in trance music is beyond a hobby, it is essential to his way of life. “What makes trance work so well is that it doesn’t stick to one style. It can incorporate electro, minimal, whatever it likes,” says Armin.

I’m not going to lie to you…this makes me feel good in the place where good feels best…

For more information regarding Armin Van Buurens ASOT 5oo Tour, head on over to the Smirnoff South Africa Facebook page by clicking here.

Tickets to the official show in Johannesburg on 19 March 2011 are available from Computicket. To stand a chance to win tickets to the Cape Town exclusive event, purchase a bottle of Smirnoff Triple Distilled, a six pack of Smirnoff Storm or Smirnoff Spin for more details.  Terms and conditions apply. Smirnoff is not for Sale to Persons under the Age of 18. The good thing about this?

JUSTIN BIEBER WILL NOT BE AT ARMIN VAN BUURENS ASOT 500 SHOWS IN SOUTH AFRICA.

Jay Bieber: Only allowed a nice cool can of the Biebertizer

This is what we refer to as ‘Great success’

So I went to see one of the days at the recent 5 Day International, and I’m really looking forward to the ODI on the 18th of January. For individuals you can just grab tickets from the stadium, but for business/corporate groups there is a really cool package available from SA Sport Travel that I found. Basically it’s a brunch with Robin Jackman and Gary Kirsten at Kelvin Grove, complete with a question and answer session with Gary (The current Indian cricket coach) followed by the game in a VIP Suite at Sahara Park Newlands.

Here are all the details for those interested:

Brunch With Gary Kirsten

The venue is Kelvin Grove Ball Room and all proceeds from the brunch are in aid of St Lukes Hospice.

Robin will conduct a Question & Answer session with Gary after which both will field questions from the floor. This will be followed by an auction of sporting memorabilia. The celebrity guests will need to leave Kelvin Grove by 13h00 but for those who have tickets to the game which starts at 14h30, there will be a cash bar available should you wish to remain at Kelvin until the start of the match.

From there, guests will make their way to Sahara Park Newlands, where they will be hosted in a private hospitality suite, as follows:

The VIP Hospitality Package includes:

Lunch and drinks on arrival
Full complimentary bar throughout the match with bar snacks, tea and coffee throughout the day
Dinner with dessert
Cheese and biscuits platters with Port
Match programme

Pricing: R3186.30 per person including VAT (Includes lunch with Gary Kirsten and Robin Jackman, as well as VIP hospitality and match tickets to the Newlands One Day International)

So that’s one awesome way to spend the day, a spot of cricket, a G&T and maybe some cucumber sandwiches, I say old bean!

It’s going to be awesome, can’t wait for the 18th.

Click here to find out more at SA Sport Travel.

So I know you’re going to be hanging out at Caprice and all those places tonight anyway.

Well I’m not.

But I am going to cruise Camps Bay side tonight for the Red Bull Nightshit event with Jordy Smith. Look i’m not a surfer, but this looks really cool! The only part of surfing that I know is chicks in bikini’s and being a bronzed God. As one is…

Here are the details:

Red Bull Nightshift with Jordy Smith from craig jarvis on Vimeo.

Red Bull Nightshift will be featuring the number one surfer in South Africa and number two surfer in the world, Jordy Smith, along with 7 of his carefully selected surfing friends. Most of them are fellow South Africans, but there will be some international surfers in the mix as well. Although the event is more of an expression session, the surfers are all highly competitive top professionals and will no doubt be attempting bigger, higher and more dangerous moves throughout the event.

So if you want to see some of the best surfers in the country and the world getting flung into waves just metres away from the shoreline and attempting some massive and extremely risky aerial moves, come down to Camps Bay Beach in the evening of the 9th of January 2011.

Sicky?
WOO!
So it starts at 7pm, enough time for you to lube up and get down there. Obviously Camps Bay will have it’s usual nightmare parking problem, so I’ll probably be walking from the Republic Of Hout Bay. Or Yemen, wherever I can find a spot.