“If you’ve ever been to Cape Quarter shopping centre, you’re probably not reading this because I assume you’re still lost in there. Luckily I survived to tell this tale, so I can save others from such a terrible fate”

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this Cape Quarter thing going on in Cape Town. It’s the cool spot, it’s ‘hip’ and ‘trendy’ and if you’re not wearing a side parting and Wayfarers and short shorts, then you’re actually a little bit of a dick. You may even be refused entry. If you haven’t been there, then you are a very lucky individual. I won’t take you on a floor by floor tour, because no one can do that without getting lost. Here is the basic design insipiration of Cape Quarter; in fact Cape Quarter seem to have replicated this design:

It seems that this is a modern day shopping centre, and when designing it no one met up to discuss the design. The people funding it simply Tweeted the architects and said ‘Make an amaze shopping centre!’

Clearly they were supposed to read this as AMAZEBALLS but instead interpreted it is ‘A maze’ as in a place you go to get lost.

Apart from being a shopping centre, they are also in talks with some studios to film LOST: LOST in the Cape Quarter. This is the epic thrilling movie based on the series, where they get lost while they’re lost.

The parking area is also fun IF YOU DRIVE A GO KART. With loads of twists and turns and about enough space to park your poogie, it’s just a joyous occasion whenever you visit. It’s child friendly as well if you hate your life and you want your child to get lost and never return.

Now just to confirm that I am not the only person who thinks like this (Being a prick blogger), I Tweeted something, and this was the response, within minutes:

So there we have it. I have one last word (Song) for the architects however:

Was a giant mistake, gigantic
Was a giant mistake, gigantic

What the hell were we thinking
Were we thinking at all
What the hell did we believe we’d achieve

Indeed my son.