The Best Boerewors In Cape Town From Rudi’s Sausage Deli

Myself and my girlfriend were cruising around the Stellenbosch Slow Market a while back, and stumbled upon Rudi’s Sausage Deli. You know, we were just out crusing looking for something to put in our mouths. Something long.

Now I don’t want to sound like one of those people who proclaim to only drink ‘real beer’ and ‘artisan coffee’ and those clowns who say they are popping down to the ‘boulangerie’ or ‘patisserie’ for a ‘brunch’ That is ridiculous and these people should all be hung by their skinny jeans immediately, while being pelted with vegetables grown with pesticides and fertilizers. While you’re at it, never ever mention the word ‘foodie’ around me.

The thing I hate with a lot of boerewors is those hard pieces in it…what is that? Skull? Cartilage? Either way, I don’t want it. And then these are those sausage casings that are about as easy to chew through as a condom. Mind you, not that I have any experience in this, but I can just imagine. So you end up sucking this piece of sausage out the casing like some cheap ass $1 hooker looking for Meth money for the child in her handbag.

There is then this further problem where people think they need to burn boerewors so that it’s cooked and they won’t get some sort of stupid disease like mad cow or Kwashiorkor or Rickets. Whatever! Never burn it and never prick it. You’ve got a prick in your pants, don’t take the prick to the braai.

The ways a man’s braai should start

Done

Old school, spelling is wrong. But this is how you know it’s good, they’re not the spelling police, or the packaging police, they are the boerewors POLICE!

The other reason that Rudi’s boerewors and sausage is so good, is due to the fact that people are willing to do anything for their sausage, and they do no marketing. Their website is atrocious, most of it is in Afrikaans (My taal is kak) and there are no directions to the farm. But this is what I love, business done the old fashioned way, via word of mouth. No one Tweets them and no one checks in to their farm via FourSquare. No one takes a photo of their cooked sausage and tags them in the tweet. They don’t have Twitter. They have a butchery, a farm and probably some John Deere equipment. I like this.

Look, it’s pretty difficult being a blogger these days, because our minds have shrunk so much that we are unable to write more than a few sentences. We’re used to copy/pasting press releases, posting stupid videos that every other blog has already, quoting stories from Dailymail.co.uk and adding in a one liner with our two cents worth and generally thinking we’re rock stars when in fact we’re glorified journalists, except we have less talent and haven’t studied to do this. So after the pearler lines I wrote above, I am absolutely finished for writing any more on this piece.

So I’m going to cut it short, and give you the details of where to buy Rudi’s Deli Sausage:

The actual butchery and deli is found on Firmoral Farm, Gordons Bay. You can buy direct from there on Thursday and Friday afternoons. Otherwise they are at the Stellenbosch Slow Market on Saturdays. They’re apparently also at the Willowbridge Slow Market, but I haven’t been there.

And I don’t want any comments saying ‘Oh but my Aunty Bertha makes much better sausage on her farm in the Eastern Cape’

Shut up, this is my website and I’ll do as I please.