Five Guys Who Never Cared How Much They Could Bench

It’s funny how we now have things saying “Say no to size zero” in the fashion industry, to counteract the skinniness that has been brought about by magazines impossible ideals. The crazy thing is, yes these models are skinny, but this does not necessarily make them unhealthily skinny. I know loads of girls who are ‘skinny’ by societies standards, not because they don’t eat, but because they don’t eat junk and they exercise. The thing is, most people do eat way too much on a  daily basis in part brought about by our work obsessed lifestyles. Too many people don’t enjoy what they do, and seek solace in food. Food is a way to pass time and to fight boredom. I’ve noticed on weekends away that people tend to eat far less than normal. You’re outdoors playing around, having fun and food only comes into play as purely an energy source. You’ll be on the boat all day fishing and playing sports, and only half way through the day do you realise that you’re hungry and you should eat.

We just live in a world where food is too readily available in massive amounts, and advertisers want us snacking all day, basically only to sell more overpriced protein bars. It’s funny how a few years ago people were perfectly healthy and muscular through normal diet, but now everyone is on protein shakes and protein bars because ‘you have to have protein’ The world survived for ages without them, and the only reason we can’t do without them now is because of the job losses if all the protein manufacturing companies went bust. If you look at some of the greatest athletes in history, they did it all without overpriced supplements.

But now we have all the gym bunnies who are hooked on the stuff.

“Yussus Sean check how skinny you are”

“So what, I couldn’t care less”

“Bru, how much do you weigh?”

“No idea, I don’t weigh myself”

“No bru, seriously if you’re like 70 kilograms you should be eating at least 140 grams of protein per day my bru. Come to gym with me and I’ll get you dak china”

“Ok that sounds awesome ballbag, I’ll waste 6-8 hours of my time every week in some siff sweaty gym, just so that I can look how Mens Health want me to look. I’ll fall into the rat race society, work 9-5, work out 6-8 just so I can look like every other tosser who can bench 160 but can’t have a normal conversation with anyone because of a severe lack of social skills, and can’t run 2km’s without pulling something”

These guys are quite easy to spot so we’ll take you through a quick video so that you too can spot them out and about in the urban jungle (Thanks Trem…touch of swearing in the video if your boss is breathing down your neck):

I’ve always been someone to do things for fun, not because what society thinks is correct. If you look at the majority of the guys working out in a gym, it’s all to boost their ego’s, to be better than the next guy…and there really is no point in this. I do things for fun, and if running and cycling doesn’t make me big…well then so what. It’s a scientific fact that no one spends the last days of their life thinking “I wish I was bigger, I wish I could bench more in my life”

The things you think of are the good memories, the ones where you were out running in nature and carrying your buddy because you were part of a team, the times where you camped at sunset, eating dehydrated foods on that 5 day mountain bike stage race, the times where your team beat their previous time in the triathlon series. These will be the best memories.

The gym obsessed cultured is brought about my mens magazines and impossible ideals, and I honestly think it’s as much of a problem as what they say the skinny trend is in woman. So many guys have complexes about their bodies because they are not big enough. Me? I honestly couldn’t give a damn, I’m having a jol! And so I thought I’d point out some people that I’ve admired in my life, people who have done things their own way, and who have lived the most awesome lives in the world, having as much fun along the way as possible. This one is for those of you who’ll skip on the vanity work, and just decide to carry on living your lives instead:

Michael Jackson

Skinny as heck if you’re comparing him to a magazine cover guy, Michael Jackson was one of the worlds true great entertainers. He wore gloves, he wore white socks and he touched himself when he danced, but he was doing his own thing. He was impossibly fit to get through his very intense shows, he could moonwalk and he had the whole world fascinated by his immense talent and crazy lifestyle. No one ever told Michael Jackson to get into the gym and lift weight to look bigger. A true icon across the world, Michael Jackson surely didn’t wish he was more muscular at any stage of his life.

Keith Richards

The 65 year old hard living king of excess has been known for his love of drink and drugs,  it’s been said that he cured his hepatitis and he was at the number one spot on the “Who’s Likely To Die” chart for ten years (Source) and in 2003 he was ranked 10th on Rolling Stone magazine’s “Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time”. Keith Richards is unapologetic for his wild ways and all along the way he has done things exactly as he has wanted. Granted most of us would pack up and die if we were to put so many chemicals in our bodies, but Keith has had one crazy ride in his lifetime. And I’m pretty sure he never stopped to consider a 2 hour a day weight training program and protein, just to fit in with some ridiculous ideal presented to us on the shelf at the local store.

Will Ferrell

Possibly one of the funniest men on the planet for many years now, Will Ferrell has been in such absolute classic like Old School, Blades Of Glory and Talladega Nights. He’s also behind the awesome website Funny Or Die, and no, Will doesn’t care how much you can bench.

Richard Branson

One of the great entrepreneurs of our time, he’s lived through the crazy days of drugs, opening his first record store and living on a house boat, to his lifestyle on Necker Island which is his home base. He owns planes, trains, gyms and virtually everything else in between. He’s lived at full throttle with a penchant for crazy hot air balloon adventures, and you can be rest assured that he doesn’t care how many tricep dips you can do. But he likes his exercise, oh yes he does:

You won’t get that in the gym will you? Exactly.

Johnny Depp

By far my favourite actor not only for his acting, but for the way he shuns the press and works on jobs that he wants to. He doesn’t seem too phased about celebrity and you hardly know anything about his private life, he’s never in the tabloids…just the way actors should be. No one should need to get naked to sell a movie and no one should ever need to jump on Oprah’s couch declaring their love for someone. Johnny does it his way, and his way is just right.

And remember, none of these people ever stopped to wonder whether they should use L-Glutamine or rather go for the superior world domination offered by Anabolic Halo. They’d rather just keep on living their lives…