Stalking at David Guetta…

I’m not sure if it’s my general vibe, or my looks, or my writing that girls are not attracted to, but it seems that I sometimes battle to even have a conversation with girls. I don’t know what it is! I just can’t pinpoint it! So every so often I have to resort to stalker tricks, as I did at David Guetta on Saturday night. I just couldn’t seem to attract any female attention and I was feeling sad about this and wanted to cry. I mean…shit you know…It’s not like I look like Lyle Lovett or anything. In contrast here I have a massive ego and am particularly arrogant so maybe this is what puts the girls off…either that or my immense piece.

So I sidled up to this chick earlier in the night and tried to chat to her, but it didn’t work. I then tried standing behind her, trying my best dance moves, in the hope that she would turn around, see me and fall madly in love with me. Anyway, I did this, and you can see me on the left in the photo, quite nervous. Nervous that she will slap me in public.

She hadn’t seen me yet 

The next thing I know, blondie is chatting to her friends.

SHIT! She saw me stalking her! (Nice Photobomb) 

But as you can see by the expression on her face, she is clearly talking about me. But not in a good way. A bad way. Probably something like:

“OH. MY. GOD. Have you seen the stalker behind me? He is so weird”

That is weird.

Am I doing something wrong? Does anyone have an answer? What is going on? Do I look dirty?

(Sean exits the stage, pours himself a drink and tries to console himself, as no one will answer his messages or calls. The scene ends, Sean crying, listen to “I’m all out of love” by Air Supply)

In related chick news, I was watching Girl Interrupted on one of the DSTV movie channels this morning and good grief I would give them one! Winona Ryder and Angeline Jolie are so messed up, it’s actually quite sexual.

I dig that messed up vibe at this current stage of my life for some reason. Maybe it’s this dark weather at the moment.

Your guess is as good as mine.

Sean Lloyd

Editor